"A GIANT CHINESE FINGER TRAP MADE OF RAINBOWS TRIED TO SUCK ME INTO THE SKY” - PART 1

My Many Trips Into the World of Chemical Psychedelics

TEXT BY D. H. TICKLISH, ILLUSTRATIONS BY TARA SINN

I have spent the last year of my life on an exhausting psychedelic journey. I managed to get my hands on some of the most potent and rare hallucinogenic drugs ever made, drugs that mainly are illegal. The ones that are not illegal are only approved for analytic studies on things like mp range, GC/MS, and receptor binding affinity. If you have no idea what I’m talking about it might be better to stick with mushrooms.

But if you know a naughty chemist, you might be able to get your hands on a few of these compounds. How did I get them? For simplicity’s sake, let’s just say that I pretend to be a doctor. It isn’t easy and I don’t want to risk arrest or competition by divulging anything about my methods.

These drugs are as rare as they come. They are super potent and not recreational by most people’s definition. People have died from taking these drugs for reasons nobody yet understands because there is no research being done on their toxicity. It is quite possible that I could wake up ten years from now with irreversible brain damage, or I could screw up a dose by a few milligrams and end up dead—and from what I gather, tripping to death is not a lot of fun.

It might seem odd that I would spend so much time experimenting with substances that have no guarantee of being safe or enjoyable, but to me that’s the entire point of psychedelic exploration—to dive into the unknown. Why drink alcohol every night when you can drink gamma-Butyrolactone? Why snort coke when you can eat N-ethylcathinone? The psychedelic revolution has come cloaked in drug names that are difficult to pronounce, and it’s time to wake up and smell the 4-fluoroamphetamine.

A quick note on dosage: These are the doses I take. Don’t take the same as me and then get mad when you die. All of these drugs are dose sensitive, so 1 milligram can be the difference between a good time and a permanent psychotic break.

Also, they almost always come as powdered white crystals, usually with the characteristic taste of their chemical precursor, which is called iodole and which is present in human shit. It is wise to keep track of which white crystals are which, to avoid a potentially lethal trip cocktail. In other words, if you are going anywhere near this stuff please be really, really careful.

DPT		2C-T-21
Dose: oral 140 mg, nasal 100 mg My proposed street name: Christ There is a cult/church on the Lower East Side of New York called the Temple of the True Inner Light that has been taking this drug as the Eucharist for the last 30 years. Apparently it’s tough to join because they already have enough people willing to participate in Holy Communions where they smoke Christ’s psychedelic flesh out of a communal pipe instead of eating a flavorless wafer. Understandable. The first time I snorted DPT it terrified me so much I felt like I had just railed a line of haunted houses. Eyeballs were peeping out of everything around me and when I looked up I saw a giant Chinese finger trap made of rainbows try to suck me into the sky. Also, snorting it was so painful it made me cry. I would rather snort a handful of sand.		Dose: oral 12 mg My proposed street name: Heat Stroke This drug had a brief stint about five years ago as a legal ecstasy alternative, but it was taken off the market when a quadriplegic from Florida tried to lick an unknown amount out of a vial he bought online, gave himself a massive overdose, and literally fried his brains. That paralyzed man was the infamous party pooper of this entire drug scene, and it was his overdose that got most of these unknown drugs scheduled by the DEA. I tried 2C-T-21 about a week ago. While walking around my neighborhood, I got so hot that I had to take off my shirt. My body was actually steaming. I decided to go swimming in a nearby urban river but instead threw my house keys into the water just to see what it looked like when they splashed.

4-AcO-DMT		DOC
Dose: oral 24 mg My proposed street name: The Greatest Drug in the World (some people call it Aurora but that’ll never catch on.) Some wayward chemists figured out a way to twist around the structure of psychedelic mushrooms to fit them into a legal loophole so they could be sold from gray-market laboratories. Thus, 4-AcO-DMT was born. The second it touches your gut it gets converted into the active ingredient of mushrooms. But one big difference is if you eat too many mushrooms you vomit, which prevents many overdoses. With 4-AcO-DMT it’s easy to accidentally swallow what would be equivalent to a trash bag of shrooms. My friend took too much in a large American city center, went nuts, and ended up strapped down in a hospital. As soon as he got out he attacked his mom for lying to him about Santa Claus as a child.		Dose: oral 3 mg My proposed street name: DOC Feelgood Since a scale that is accurate down to the microgram would cost more than all of these drugs combined, I measure DOC in a liquid solution. I dissolve 10 milligrams of DOC in 10 milliliters of vodka and then use a syringe to measure doses. 1ml = 1mg. Easy! DOC is a psychedelic amphetamine that is unrivaled in potency. A lot of the acid that people think has angel dust in it is actually adulterated with DOC. The big difference between DOC and acid is that DOC lasts about 24 hours, and since it’s an amphetamine, you’re looking at 24 sweaty hours. This is the kind of drug you really want to have some Valium around for. Any food I put in my mouth tasted like polyester. By the end of the trip I ate a potted plant and the dirt it was growing in.

TO BE CONTINUED
"A GIANT CHINESE FINGER TRAP MADE OF RAINBOWS..." | 1 | 2 |

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