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DOS & DON'TS

Her online name is deviant666, but when you boil it all down it’s essentially a shitty blow job followed by lying there like a log while Current 93 blares out of tiny iPod speakers. Comments/Enlarge | See all


I have a feeling that if this was the guy who came to fix the office computers we’d never have that problem with the fucking email ever again. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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PEOPLE WHO JUST HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER A COUPLE OF MINUTES AGO - PART 4


INTERVIEWS BY GABI SIFRE
PHOTOS BY ED ZIPCO


TINA & BUCHANAN
Vice: How was the fucking?

Buchanan:
We haven’t seen each other in a month, first of all. And that was the first time we met, and we had sex in the woods a lot then, so a couch was great.

Tina: And I told her, “Imagine what we could do in a fucking bed!” Anyway, first we drank whiskey. Then we took each other’s shirts off.

Buchanan: Then we drank more whiskey.

Tina: And then we put on Bob Dylan. I think he’s sexy.

Buchanan: Then we were making out. It was hot.

Tina: We were playing with each other’s titties.

Were the pants still on?

Buchanan:
Yeah, but then I went to the bathroom and came back with them unbuttoned.

Tina: She was wearing boxer briefs. I’m wearing panties.

Buchanan:
We kept making out, then we started touching each other’s “special areas.” Her pants were really hard to get off.

Tina: It rained last night, so they’re like suctioned on there! It took a lot of tugging.

Buchanan: She got on top of me. She was wearing pink panties. The kissing was perfect.

Tina: I made her take off her underpants as well. And then she fucked the shit out of me.

Whoa, slow down there. Let’s go back.

Tina:
She definitely fucked me first.

Buchanan: She was on top and I started off touching her with my hand. First it was just rubbing, then I slipped a finger inside. She laid down and I started kissing all over her chest and then proceeded to kiss her thighs and then kissed her other parts. I sucked on her clit for a while, with my fingers inside of her. It was two fingers at this point.

Tina: I was moving my ass up and down. There was lots of moaning.

Are you usually loud?

Tina:
Not unless I like someone. If it’s just happening to happen, then no moaning. But if it’s someone special, I express it. That’s why we put on the Bob Dylan.

Buchanan: His frequencies can cover anything. I was also saying her pussy was hot.

Tina: There was definitely expression.

OK, what next?

Buchanan:
She came, and we slowed it down for a bit. I kept my fingers in her, but I started kissing her mouth and stuff.

Tina: I came the first time within two minutes. The second, third, and fourth time were all consecutive. Then I was like, “This is stupid, you can’t just give to me, reciprocation is important.” So I went down on her.

Buchanan: I don’t usually let girls do that to me. It’s just my preference. I was sitting on the couch and she was on the floor, and I was grabbing onto her hair and she had fingers in me. She has nice hands.

Tina: I don’t go in that far, though. I have long fingers.

Did you come?

Buchanan:
Yes, which is a new thing to me. It’s only been happening the past couple of years.

Tina: Yeah, we fucked the shit out of each other. First she fucked the shit out of me, then I fucked the shit out of her. She finally let me touch her shit.

How’d you finish up?

Buchanan:
We had a smoke, had a little more whiskey, listened to the Mamas and the Papas. We drew happy faces on each other, around our moles.

Cute.



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