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PEOPLE WHO JUST HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER A COUPLE OF MINUTES AGO - PART 1


INTERVIEWS BY GABI SIFRE
PHOTOS BY ED ZIPCO


The rules here were simple. We waited downstairs while these couples fucked, then we came in and got the play-by-play after they were done.

AHAVA & DH

Vice: So you guys just did it...

DH:
First we drank some wine, trying to get ourselves ready, and then I started making out with her. That’s how it got started.

Ahava: It doesn’t take much for me to get horny. Plus, we’ve only had sex like four times before this, so it’s still exciting.

DH: But we’re comfortable enough so we didn’t need to be super-horny already.

Ahava: I also hadn’t had sex in a week.

OK, what next? Were you horny yet?

Ahava:
He took my shirt off. I think I took my shorts off.

DH: Yeah, you took your own shorts off, then you took all my clothes off. You wanted to get down to business.

So you were definitely ready. How long did this take?

DH:
That was within the first five minutes. The whole sex was about 40 minutes total.

Ahava: I feel like it was longer.

DH: I made sure to look at the clock.

Ahava: I was not that removed from what was happening.

What next?

Ahava:
Then I went down on him for a short, short bit.

DH: A too short bit. It was only like a minute.

Ahava: It was maybe like three minutes. I’m not a huge fan of blowjobs.

DH: I never went down on her, so I guess it’s fair.

Ahava: I was being polite.

Why so short?

DH:
I was into it.

Ahava: Yeah, he was, I think that was the problem. There was a lot of thrusting and I have a tiny mouth! I don’t deep-throat people ever. That’s when I decided no more.

DH: I won’t do that again, I guess.

Ahava: Plus, he’s really big, at least compared to other people. So, I was kind of unprepared. I think I need to work my way up to it.

So the minute-long blowjob was over and then...

DH:
Then she got on top of me, and we started fucking.

Were you wet yet?

Ahava:
Not really, but it happened quick.

DH: She was doing most of the work. I was just laying there grabbing her tits. She’s really into biting, like bite marks and blood.

Ahava:
Incredibly hard biting.

DH: This is the first time I’ve ever really gone for it. She told me about it and I thought it was kind of weird, but this time I finally just went for it. I bit her boob a little bit.

Did you enjoy it?

DH:
Once I got into it, I thought it was kind of cool.

Ahava: Plus, I think the reaction he got from me also helped. I get so into it.

DH: She goes a little crazy.

Ahava: And he likes to spank me while I’m on top too. There was some of that happening too.

Were you being loud?

DH:
She was.

Ahava: He makes a little noise, not loud, but it’s there. Just some moaning and a little grumbling. I would say it’s nice because it’s consistent throughout, and I know he’s enjoying it.

DH: Sometimes it’s a conscious decision to make noise, it’s an indicator to let the other person know you’re enjoying it.

Ahava: If something feels good I make a noise.

Do you guys ever talk in bed?

DH:
No, maybe sometimes I’ll ask if something feels good.

Ahava: Or he’ll ask me to do things. People who are really into dirty talk kind of freak me out, though one guy used to call me by my full name which I thought was really hot.

Were you both enjoying her being on top?

DH:
Well, she actually had an orgasm within like seven minutes.

Ahava: I always come when I’m on top, because I know what to do to make myself orgasm. That’s why I can’t start on top, but I always get back into it.

DH: It was literally like five minutes into it.

Ahava: I’d say ten.

What did you think when she came?

DH:
I thought, “Man, I’m so good.”

Were you touching her at all or just fucking?

DH:
No, she’s completely in charge when she’s on top. I don’t have to do much, I have an erection and lay there.

Ahava: You were touching me!

DH: Yeah, your breasts, I thought we were talking about your clit.

Do you like it that he just lays there?

Ahava:
Yeah. It’s kind of irritating when people are so hands-on. I know what I’m doing! I feel like there are times when people are fucking me where I just let them fuck me.

So she came. What next?

DH:
We shifted, and we went through a series of positions. I was on top, like traditional missionary style, then we did it on our sides for a while, then back to missionary. That was what it was, really, it was just sex.

Anything else happening during this?

DH:
Just straight fucking, nothing special.

Ahava:
There was biting.

DH: Yeah, on her arms, shoulders, and back. This is still a relatively new concept, biting to hurt, so I didn’t really know.

Biting sounds special. But anyway, keep going.

DH:
Then she was on her belly. It was like doggy style but not arched, she was just lying sorta facedown on the mattress. What I really like about that is that when you push down on the girl, the bedsprings push her back into you, so she’s like involuntarily bouncing on the bed, and that’s a really good visual. It’s sort of like A Night at the Roxbury when they bounce the girl between them. But you need bedsprings, so I recommend sex on a bed.

Did you like that?

Ahava:
Yeah, ’cause he was biting my back and he was into it, so I was into it. But, when he was ready to move on I was fine with it.

What came next?

Ahava:
Then we were on our sides again, and he started fingering my ass. I was definitely into that.

Was that a test to see if you could get your dick in there?

DH:
No, ’cause we’ve had anal sex before. Every time before she was like, “You have to get me ready.” At one point I managed to get like four fingers in, I was really impressed! I don’t even know if she realized.

Ahava: It felt different, and I was a little confused, but it was still enjoyable. I didn’t ask questions.

DH: Now that I know she doesn’t ask questions, I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want.

Did you go straight from there into anal?

Ahava:
No, I objected at first. I thought he was just going to go for it, and then I told him there needs to be lube and there needs to be touching first.

DH: I got this amazing lube, for free! After Hours Inc. They just gave it to me on a street corner in Bushwick. Free condoms, free lube, free HIV tests. It’s the best lube I’ve ever used, her ass was like a slip ’n slide.

Are you normally into anal?

Ahava:
Yeah, I like it because all these girls say it’s degrading, but it’s really not. The guy has to work for it, it’s not like he can just slip it in. Plus, the guy’s really engaged because of having to work for it.

DH: There’s a lot to be gained for the dude, so you pay more attention than you normally would. If you want to have anal sex, you definitely have to put more effort into it. It’s almost like you have to physically convince the woman to do it.

Ahava: Regardless of lube it’s never not painful, but I’m kind of into physical pain with sex. I was definitely wet from it. Plus, he was touching me a bit. There’s definitely a time when you can’t do it anymore.

DH: Which is what happened when my dick accidentally slipped out.

Ahava: I turned around and was like, “OK, that’s enough.”

DH: Worst mistake of my life.

How did you recover?

DH:
I decided the only way I was going to come was to jerk myself off. I could feel it going that way. It always takes me a while to have an orgasm via sex. We went into missionary after the anal, but it was taking a while. I’ve given myself so many handjobs, I know how to get off in a minute.

Ahava: You know your own stuff the best.

DH: Anyway, I figured maybe she was getting tired.

Ahava: No, I was still into it. You would have known if I wasn’t.

DH: I sort of kneeled over her face and asked her to lick my balls.

Ahava: Then I licked his ass.

Were you asked to do that or was it your own initative?

Ahava:
A little of both. He asked me to lick his balls, which I was doing. Then he moved his body up further, so I just went for it. It was the first time I did it, but I got into it, because of his reaction.

DH: It was awesome. Half of me was like, “This feels so good,” and the other half of me was like, “I can’t believe she’s doing this!” I’m really into girls who are into trying things. Then I came on her face, which I was super into. To put it in the most Neanderthal terms, it’s like a mark that you were there, and that’s pretty great.

Ahava: I’m a little submissive, so I was into it.

Was this the best sex you’ve ever had with each other?

Both:
Definitely.



CONTINUED
PEOPLE WHO JUST HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER...
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

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Comments

Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote:
The one who got ass-fisted looks like a blonde Sonia from Eastenders.
Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote:
You are Nathan Barley and I claim my £5
Anonymous, on Oct 30, 2008 wrote:
what the fuck. this is actually ridiculous.
sushilove, on Oct 30, 2008 wrote:
Andy is my hero
Anonymous, on Oct 30, 2008 wrote:
the girls weren’t that bad looking! no.3 looked a bit funny, but 2 was hot and 1 kinda ok. not sure what’s going on with this andy fellow but mad props anyway.
Anonymous, on Oct 30, 2008 wrote:
damn. i must be able to get laid if these guys can
Anonymous, on Oct 29, 2008 wrote:
This one was fucking stupid. As soon as she said "I put on Bob Dylan" I took another good look at them and said "NOPE"
Anonymous, on Oct 29, 2008 wrote:
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
funny how the lezzies have to emphasize a bunch of times how they "fucked" each other just in case we don’t consider non-penile sex "fucking", which it isn’t.

--uh, yeah it is! you’ve clearly never been fucked by a lesbian.
Anonymous, on Oct 29, 2008 wrote:
Anonymous, on Oct 22, 2008 wrote:
A subway map is a mark of hipsterdom because hipsters don’t believe in cars, only bikes and public transportation. And walking. And skateboarding.

--um hello there, it’s new york. nobody drives, dummy.
Anonymous, on Oct 29, 2008 wrote:
I can’t imagine why he would want to be in here twice. I guess that’s the birth control right there- no one wants to fuck a big sweaty douche after reading this garbage.
Anonymous, on Oct 28, 2008 wrote:
People do NOT have sex every day. Some of us haven’t has sex in monhts and it’s good to know that people out there are still doing the dirty. Be proud! You scored! WTF?
Anonymous, on Oct 28, 2008 wrote:
"her ass was like a slip and slide" haha what a bad keunt.
Anonymous, on Oct 28, 2008 wrote:
The person beow me is as sexually uneducated as the idiots in this article.
Condoms are used to prevent pregnancy and stds. While stds can be spread through oral, it is pretty rare and swallowing semen mmediatly is actually safer that swishing it around in the mouth.

All in all, the iea of the article was pretty sexy. Sure everyone has sx, but evyone has different preferences and it is interesting to read about. Next time Vice, interview people smarter than these "pull out" and "can’t get pregnant on my period idiot," as their stupidity kind of took the sexiness out of it.

And is far as Andy is concerned, I am a ute skinny chick all about chubby hairy dudes but he was repulsive. The point of getting with a chubby hairy dude is that thy are really humble. All they do is tell you how hot you are and would never complain about wearing a condom, as they are just happy to get laid.
Anonymous, on Oct 27, 2008 wrote:
Please cut the "everybody should wear condoms cuz it’s not cool not to" bullshit. If you don’t trust it, don’t stick your dick in it! And vice versa, ladies.

It’s that stupid porn movie mentality. The guy wears a condom all through the sex part, but at the end the girl is gargling his come. What the shit?! Is that safer somehow?

I’ve dated those girls who won’t let you fuck them without a condom, but they’ll suck you off and swallow it. Duh!
Anonymous, on Oct 26, 2008 wrote:
Is this Vice ’pushing the envelope’ on hard hitting issues again. People have sex every day. Big woop.
Anonymous, on Oct 25, 2008 wrote:
This guy was my english teacher the story is real. he got fired for doing this. so unfair. he was mad cool
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
DH the guy in the first article is my english teacher he got fired because of this article, it sucks he was actually a mad chill teacher.
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
ass to pussy , nice move ahava
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
people, people... we have to conclude that there’s several, if not many classifications of hipsters.

Because what do hipsters and white people in general love to do? Classify everything.

I believe the hipster handbook spells all this out. Maybe we can arrange some sort of hipster scavenger hunt where candid shots are snapped and the first team to get shots of each type wins a prize, like a trip to great adventure or a dinner at fridays!
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
weiners go in who-has
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
So casual sex with ugly people is the new casual sex with attractive people, eh? I take all my cultural cues from Vice and American Apparel ads, so I’m grateful for the head’s up. Vice Magazine, you’re so right: the whole world is a hipster high school where we go out of our way to show how cool we are, and you, Vice, are the bitchy girls on the Prom Committee.
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
The guy on the first page isn’t a bad looking dude, he should get higher quality pussy than that Tina Yothers mess he’s with. But I guess if you want to anally fist a broad, that’s what you have to settle for.
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
what’s really wrong here is that he is drinking sierra nevade (which is fine) but she has a ?coors light? ugh.
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
funny how the lezzies have to emphasize a bunch of times how they "fucked" each other just in case we don’t consider non-penile sex "fucking", which it isn’t.
Anonymous, on Oct 24, 2008 wrote:
This is some seriously tacky shit. Pathetic hipsters.
Anonymous, on Oct 23, 2008 wrote:
it’s fake because they changed tenses? people change tenses all the time in regular conversation. holy shit I just did it right now, this comment must be fake.

and the names swap gender? where? are you referring to the fucking LESBIANS on the last page?
Anonymous, on Oct 23, 2008 wrote:
To those who say it’s fake, whether they fucked or not I do not know. I do know, however, one of these women is my ex-girlfriend and her name sure as hell matches her picture.
Anonymous, on Oct 23, 2008 wrote:
retardedly fake, the tense’s change and names swap gender through-out the interviews.
Anonymous, on Oct 23, 2008 wrote:
Make this a regular column.
Anonymous, on Oct 23, 2008 wrote:
You guys know this is all fake, right?
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