NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

They can repeat any dialogue from any DVD boxset ever released in the history of sitting on the couch and merging disgustingly into the same sweaty delivery pizza sweating, cat litter stinking, 8 years into this and still no kids, crazed relationship of a catastrophe of disappointment. Comments/Enlarge | See all


It’s hard to call out your friends on their bullshit without it seeming like a joke, but if one of them is turning into a serious, self-important asshole it's vital to figure out a way to slip him the news. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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Photos by Christopher Voy

Over...







CHRIS NIERATKO - SECTION 2


Photo by Chris Nieratko

THE GUY WHO MAKES MY BURRITOS
by Chris Nieratko

Vice: How is it that the best burritos in America are in New Brunswick, New Jersey?

Caesar of Tijuana Burrito:
Well, we make them the best because it’s all homemade. We put all the effort into making everything fresh every day. We are glad that the people like it.

Do you know what burrito I’ve been getting from you for the past year and a half?

Grilled chicken burrito, no sour cream, add guacamole instead with extra hot sauce. That’s the only thing you eat.

Does it piss you off that that’s the only thing I ever get?

Nah, I’m glad you like the grilled chicken. I’m not mad but I wish you would try something else too.

Like what?

You should try the steak burrito, it’s really good. Or the chicken ranchero, it’s the best. It’s like a chicken stew. That’s really good.

What’s your favorite?

My favorite is the steak burrito. That’s the one that I like. It’s fresh. We cut it every day. We don’t use regular steak, we use hanger steak, which is really tender.

That’s what I’m going to try next time then.

No you won’t. You will still get the grilled chicken. I know.


CONTINUED
CHRIS NIERATKO - SECTION TWO
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