NEWSLETTER

INTERVIEW BY ANDY CAPPER

Private Eye covers from years gone by.

His mayoral acceptance speech was something else. I watched it a few times.

Well, the Beijing [his big speech about Britain hosting the Olympics] thing was really funny too. There is part of you that thinks it’s a mass-organised, synchronised display, and then you have this man who comes on who can’t even do up the buttons on his suit.

Here’s another thing I need your insider knowledge for. That must have been a prank at the Olympics when they flashed up the portrait of Myra Hindley during the “Come to England, it’s lovely” video?

No, it’s one of the Brit Art paintings.

Yeah, I know that but surely it must have been a prank?

No, no, they were very serious about that. I promise you the cultural community think that a big portrait of Myra is absolutely terrific.

But when they flashed it up on the screen for a short time it just looks like the original mugshot of Myra.

It looks like someone that killed children, I agree. It certainly wasn’t top of my list of what’s to be proud of in Britain.

What is top of your list of what’s to be proud of in Britain?

Obviously a tradition of questioning authority, that seems fairly high. Personal freedom. An ability to organise things. Lots of things that don’t happen in Beijing. I do quite like this country and that’s one of the reasons I’m very quick to jeopardise any deviation of the good things we have.

When was the last time you got sued. I guess it doesn’t happen as much as it used to?

No, because people don’t do it as much. We’ve got two as of last week.

That’s how often?

This latest one is a copper.

How often do you get them? Every week?

We don’t get them every week but they come in. A lot of them disappear nowadays. A lot of people we get rid of, but on the whole, there’s always something outstanding.

We’re probably running 70 stories a week which people don’t particularly like and at a certain point some of these people will sue. But it’s nothing like the mad days of libel in the late 80s and early 90s.

Why do you think it changed?

Well, the law changed. The amount of damages came right down and the fees went up, so it costs a fortune now. It really costs a fortune now so people have become hesitant.

Have you had the same lawyers throughout the whole period?

Yes, and they’re very, very rich.

Ha ha. So what stories are you working on right now that could get you sued?

The big stories we are working on are about Brown’s reputation for economic competence. Our theory is the things people are known for are usually the things they can’t do at all. I think he was useless at economics and most of the public finances are unravelling because of that.

How bad do you think it’s going to get, “credit crunch” and recession-wise?

I’d like to think of myself as an optimist but when the Chancellor of the Exchequer says,“It’s the worst thing for 60 years”, you think, “Oh shit.” I think it’s going to get quite serious. Partly because we had a stupid obsession with the value of houses in this country and in the long-term I think that houses being worth less will be a good thing, but it will be very painful when you get there.

Is there any story you could pass on to us because you can’t print it or you’re scared of getting sued?

There’s nothing I would give you, absolutely nothing, and I’m not going to tell you what we’re going to print obviously because that would be pointless printing. People say to us, “You must know stuff that you don’t print”, and I say, “Well, if it’s any good then I’d put it in.” If I don’t believe it I don’t put it in because otherwise why would people buy you?

What were some of things that people have told you that were true that weren’t put in there?

People are always telling you that politicians are gay, usually ones who aren’t, and on the other hand people who knew John Major really well would come up to you and say it’s very interesting that [Conservative MP] Peter Lilley was gay, which he wasn’t. Him and his wife couldn’t have children, and politicians are so unpleasant they spread the story that he was gay.

Anyway, the same time they were telling me this story, John Major was actually screwing Edwina Curry. No one knew it. On the whole I find the really good stories you find out afterwards because no-one has told you.

You must have met Edwina Curry?

I have met Edwina Curry on a number of occasions, yes.

Have you ever imagined what it’s like to screw her?

I’m just not going to comment on that.

How old are you now, if you don’t mind me asking?

I’m 48.

Has anyone ever offered you another job, or offered to buy you out?

They have done, yeah.

Buy you out or offered you another job?

Both. I can’t think of a better job, though. We are one of the few companies where the views of the shareholders aren’t very important.

Do you think that’s important?

There was a point when the widow was very unhappy with me and she said she might sell the magazine to Mohamed al- Fayed and I said that was fine, but I would torch the building. So she didn’t.


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