NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

Chemical castration for pedophiles, yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we please start talking about what the punishment will be for the people who went to see I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell instead? Comments/Enlarge | See all


You’d think that a harsh chemical perm and three hours in a tanning bed would do at least a little damage to a zombie’s tender, rotting flesh. But nope. Comments/Enlarge | See all






RELATED ARTICLES

YOU'RE NOT PUNK
And I'm Telling Everyone
GYM MONKEYS
Love Steroids
HORROR SHOW
Surviving Serious Burns With Ipso Facto
TOD SEELIE
From the Annual Vice Photo Issue





READINGS BY GWENDOLYN COLMAN,
PHOTOS BY CHRIS SHONTING,
STYLING BY ANNETTE LAMOTHE-RAMOS

Hair: Kristen Shaw, Makeup: Emi Kaneko, Set Design: Samantha Jacober, Assistant: Alexis Kawahara



Catherine Fulmer dress (catherinefulmer.com), Björn Borg underwear (bjornborg.com)

CAT

Gwen: The first thing the cards say is that right now you have a big choice about making a commitment. One side of you is saying no, and the other side is saying maybe. What just popped out is the Hanged Man and that has to do with listening to your inner voice.

You have the Nine of Swords, which says that what you’ve been doing is thinking and analyzing. That has been making you feel anxious and lonely and unsure about things. The King of Wands is crossing you, which represents someone that you can talk to.

Above you, you have the Four of Wands, which is to say that there is a community of support that you can go to. Below you is the Knight of Cups, that’s someone offering you love. Behind you is the Queen of Pentacles, and ahead is the Three of the Cups. That’s really nice because that shows that you have a lot of good girlfriends, who are very supportive and very fun to be with. You’re also going to a party really soon.

Your attitude card is the Page of Swords, which shows that you’re thinking a lot and also that you’re impatient with this situation.

Cat:
That’s very true.

You’re tempted to do something to make it be over with, so you don’t have the discomfort. You wish you could just take a pill and it would go away. But you have plenty of support so just relax.

In the people card comes the Ace of Swords, and that shows that this stuff will not be taken care of overnight. It looks to me like you’re going to have to wait until winter for this to really be resolved.

This thing I’m being impatient about?

Yes. We’ll get more information about it with the rest of the cards. The first thing that comes up now is that you have some regret, you’re feeling a little guilty. The Queen of Cups comes up. It shows you looking at the past and feeling emotional and also that you really need love in your life.

Then you have the Ten of Wands, which means stress. Now we have the Three of Pentacles, which represents planning. Your outcome card is the World, which is extremely positive. It means enormous success, and it means really being out there in the world. I think you’re going to travel.

Well, that’s good.

So the cards say that you’re going back and forth between making this commitment or not, and that the answer comes from being able to talk to this one guy you can talk with, and then there’s a girlfriend. If you talk with them, then you’ll see what to do. The other thing is that there’s a pattern with love and being impatient.

Ah, OK.

Uncertainty gets too uncomfortable, so you throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Oh my god, that’s so true.

Now is your chance to stop doing that. You can break that pattern permanently, and that would be really good. It’s an obstacle to your happiness. Now you can ask me very specific questions, like yes-or-no questions.

If I’m seeing someone now, should I keep hanging out with him?

Well, I’ll tell you the story with this person. You met because you were looking at your options, and he was one of them. That’s the beginning of the relationship. The middle looks like it was very uplifting, but the end is not so good. The beginning is the Seven of Cups, the middle is the Star, and the end is the Five of Swords, which is like a rip-off. He’s causing you stress. Is he possessive?

No.

Is he just a pain?

A big pain.

Well, I think that’s your answer. It was good for a while, but now it’s not. That’s what the cards say.

Good to know.


< PREVIOUS IMAGE | NEXT IMAGE >