PLEASE SNORT ME An Oral History of Brooklyn's Most Notorious Bar Why hello there, sonny. You too, little miss. So you're the young whippersnappers that're living in good old Williamsburg, Brooklyn, now, huh? Well let me tell you kids, I may not look like much more than an old fogey now, but I was here in the WB back when th...READ MORE
MY OTHER SOAPBOX IS YOUR ASS Racing Nerds in Rhode Island Do you like Polack jokes? I've always been a big fan of them. An Italian, a rabbi, and a smiling Polack walk into a bar. The Polack is holding dog-shit in his hand and says to the bartender, "Look what I almost stepped in!" Classic, right? Growing up I used to...READ MORE
WESTERN HUMILIATION 2007 A Clockcleaner Tour Diary John Sharkey is the singer and guitarist for Clockcleaner, the band that singlehandedly caused us to rethink music from Philadelphia, new bands on Load Records, and the whole AmRep approach to turning every performance into a single churning mass of...READ MORE
SHEPPARD'S VIDEO-GAME PIE By Stephen Lea Sheppard MANHUNT 2
As of the time of this writing, there are no Manhunt 2 guides on GameFAQs.
How long does it usually take for someone to put up a rudimentary...READ MORE
VICE MAIL Letters - The What We Do Is A Secret Issue Love It or Lump It, Conscientious Objection, Beat Brat, the Nail in the Coffin, ICP Nitpcik, And The Wichita Lineman Is Still on the Line, Corrections, Job Application Special!, I'm a Nick With the Tiny Dick, I Live on an Island of Me (It's Weird), I Have Lots...READ MORE
HOW TO COUNT CUTE! Chinese girls do this thing called "cute counting." Actually it's called "da tou tie de ke ai zhi shi", which can roughly be translated as "cute faces for big-head photo stickers."
It's a game in which girls try to outcute each other by counting with thei...READ MORE
SUCK ON THIS Dan Colen Chews Our Ears Off About His Gum Paintings (Get it?) The inspiration for my series of gum paintings first came to me when I was working on my papier-mâché boulders. It originated from me imagining "secret" places-in the woods, by the train tracks, in sewer ditches-where teenagers would congregate to get drunk, s...READ MORE
NJ T-SHIRTS & YOU: PERFECT TOGETHER By Chris Nieratko Growing up it always seemed like my home state of New Jersey got a bad rap. Everywhere I traveled people appeared to think that it was just one big cesspool full of loudmouthed Italians. It pissed me off but it also gave me a heightened sense of Jersey pride...READ MORE
EL NUEVO ALARMA! IS MEXICO’S BEST CRIME TABLOID... The Vice Interview Alarma! is the oldest of Mexico's prensa roja (red press) tabloids. It is mostly made up of gruesome news stories, photos of mutilated corpses, and headlines that contain 1960s-Borscht-Belt-comedian-worthy puns about death and pain. We recent...READ MORE
RECORDS Music Reviews - The What We Do Is Secret Issue JAY-Z
American Gangster
Everybody’s walking around saying this album is great. They’re wrong. It’s better than Jigga’s last piece of crap, but it’s hardly reminiscent of Reasonable Doubt and...READ MORE
The best Finnish saunas are on private islands like this one, Iso Vasikkasaari...READ MORE
SKULLS AND BONES IN SIERRA LEONE Rolling Dice to Talk to the Dead I'm bending over an open grave in Sierra Leone and trying not to fall in. A boy stands next to me. He's a member of a crew of kids who call themselves Skull and Bones. He points inside and says, "Look, do you see the head?" I can't, so he pulls the cracked gra...READ MORE
COUNTERFEIT FUN After the media frenzy last summer about Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park's blatant and badly done Disney World rip-offs, the majority of the attractions were summarily demolished. Besides the wannabe Epcot Center and Cinderella's Castle, everything resembli...READ MORE
VICE PRESENTS THE PEOPLE'S LISTS 10 Really Unusual Medical Conditions ART ATTACK
Fine art can really make you sick. Or so says Dr. Graziella Magherini, author of The Stendhal Syndrome. She has studied more than a hundred tourists in Florence, Italy, who...READ MORE
BEES AND TREES A Conversation Between Baby Dee and Matt Sweeney Baby Dee is a singer-songwriter-harpist-pianist with a voice like an angel who fell from heaven. She has played with Current 93 for a while now, and she just put out a solo record of strong and sad and pretty songs on the Drag City label...READ MORE
GULLY-SIDAL TENDENCIES Mavado's a Gangster For Life (Ad Nauseum) Mavado is the best thing to have happened to dancehall in years. He has the premier new catchphrases ("Anywaaaaayeeeeeee" and "Gangster for liiiife"), if you look into his eyes you'd swear it was the devil looking back at you, and his debut album is a dark, in...READ MORE
Vice: So you two are in love. How did you meet?...READ MORE
DO IT! Since bassline isn’t coming to London anytime soon, when a film Easychord shot got accepted into the Sheffield Film Festival late last year, we decided to head up to South Yorkshire the weekend of the festival to check out a bassline rave first hand. Stepping ...READ MORE
YET MORE FUCKING HIPPIES Yeasayer Douse Us in Patchouli Oil Ever had a hangover that you could describe as "beautiful"? They're not common. They're not your regular earth shattering- shit- your- bowels- out-of-a- ringpiece-that- feels-like-its-been- soaked-in- stinging-nettles- for-a-week-every- five-minutes- accompani...READ MORE
FEEL THE DARKNESS Living And Breathing in Dirt in Odessa David Gillanders grew up in Glasgow and like most Glaswegians he soon found himself immersed in the sport known as "fighting". Because he was smart, David decided to do his fighting in the relative safety of a boxing gym, rather than down the back alley...READ MORE
ENDLESS HARMONIACALS Talibam! Sounds Like "Being Torn to Pieces by Helicopter Blades" Jazz can be scary. Unless you are some child prodigy in a Richard Powers novel, it's unlikely you will experience that much jazz in your quotidian existence. In general you evolve through the elementary pre-pubescent guitar music phase, through the ensuing wee...READ MORE
VICE FICTION - MY APPETITE By Joe Dunthorne I began stealing when I was twenty-two. The first thing I stole was a chocolate muffin. I started eating it on my way round the supermarket and finished it before I got to the till. From then on, whenever I did my weekly food shop, I'd steal something: a luxur...READ MORE
VICE FASHION - ROCK AND ROLL, KEEP PLAYING FOR ME Photos by Jonnie Craig, Tara Darby, Gavin Watson, James Pearson-Howes and Ben Rayner
Styling by Richard Simpson, Aldene Johnson, Mischa Notcutt, Jemma Sawyer, Milene Larsson and Jem Goulding...READ MORE
LARPs OF THE NEAR FUTURE SINergy Take Nightclubbing to the Next Level Everybody knows that Live Action Role Playing is the funnest way to turn your pointless existence into a thrill ride of unbounded possibilities and constant adventure, right?
But imagine if you took LARP out of the forests and Quasar centres and...READ MORE
SKINEMA By Chris Nieratko CURIOUS
One thing I've been rather curious about lately is how much exactly is it to buy a kid from some third world country. I've heard anywhere from $40,000 to $80,000. And if those...READ MORE
ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE At the end of October last year, Bogdan Raczynski fell from a hotel window in Graz, Austria, and ended up in hospital with two broken heels. Heels-ouch. In Graz to perform at the four-day Elevate festival, the mild-mannered rave heavyweight-who slipped ...READ MORE
NEWSFLASH: ELECTRO STILL SUCKS But We Make Exceptions for D.I.M. and Brodinski Although few history books will be using this as a reference, and many casual observers may not be aware of this, as far as some dance fans are concerned we have entered the post-Justice era. Since electroclash disbanded, like a rent boy rumbled by a policeman...READ MORE
AMPLIFIED SAMPLES The Art of Stealing by Girl Talk Samples. There are plenty of rotters out there dressing their shitty songs up in them, applying them as liberally as possible without realising everyone can see straight through their horribly stuck-together musical golems to their tiny, inverted, shrivel-dick...READ MORE
LITERARY Book Reviews - The What We Do Is Secret Issue BORN IN THE BRONX - A VISUAL RECORD OF THE EARLY DAYS OF HIP HOP
“Early Hip Hop”—when I read that I was tempted to put this in the bin next to the three copies of Wild Style’s 25th anniversary book that arrived in the office. So...READ MORE
