Cover painting by Dan Colen
 PLEASE SNORT ME
An Oral History of Brooklyn's Most Notorious BarWhy hello there, sonny. You too, little miss. So you're the young whippersnappers that're living in good old Williamsburg, Brooklyn, now, huh? Well let me tell you kids, I may not look like much more than an old fogey now, but I was here in the WB back when the likes of you were sucking on your mamm...
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  MY OTHER SOAPBOX IS YOUR ASS
Racing Nerds in Rhode IslandDo you like Polack jokes? I've always been a big fan of them. An Italian, a rabbi, and a smiling Polack walk into a bar. The Polack is holding dog-shit in his hand and says to the bartender, "Look what I almost stepped in!" Classic, right? Growing up I used to l-o-v-e to tell Polack jokes to all the...
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 WESTERN HUMILIATION 2007
A Clockcleaner Tour DiaryJohn Sharkey is the singer and guitarist for Clockcleaner, the band that singlehandedly caused us to rethink music from Philadelphia, new bands on Load Records, and the whole AmRep approach to turning every performance into a single churning mass of sweat and fighting. This is the diary he kept for ...
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 SHEPPARD'S VIDEO-GAME PIE
Manhunt, Kane & Lynch, Table Tennis, Tomb RaiderMANHUNT 2
As of the time of this writing, there are no Manhunt 2 guides on GameFAQs.
How long does it usually take for someone to put up a rudimentary walkthrough of a video game at GameFAQs? Three hours after the game is released? Four? Christ, generally there's two separate ...
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 VICE MAIL
Love It or Lump It, Conscientious Objection, Beat Brat, the Nail in the Coffin, ICP Nitpcik, And The Wichita Lineman Is Still on the Line, Corrections, Job Application Special!, I'm a Nick With the Tiny Dick, I Live on an Island of Me (It's Weird), I Have Lots of Terrible Ideas, I Don't Think Things...
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 HOW TO COUNT CUTE!
Chinese girls do this thing called "cute counting." Actually it's called "da tou tie de ke ai zhi shi" , which can roughly be translated as "cute faces for big-head photo stickers."
It's a game in which girls try to outcute each other by counting with their hands. They do it when they're ...
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 SUCK ON THIS
Dan Colen Chews Our Ears Off About His Gum Paintings (Get it?)The inspiration for my series of gum paintings first came to me when I was working on my papier-mâché boulders. It originated from me imagining "secret" places–in the woods, by the train tracks, in sewer ditches–where teenagers would congregate to get drunk, smoke weed, talk about the universe, and ...
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 VICE FASHION - ... AND GOD CREATED WOMAN
... and God Created WomanPHOTOGRAPHER: STACEY MARK
STYLIST: JACLYN HODES
MODEL: HARRIET HALLOWAY
Prop stylist: Chelsea Mariuskin
Hair: Michelle Fiona for Bumble & Bumble
Makeup: Kristin Gallegos for Bryan Bantry Photographer's assistant: Alexander Haring
Stylist's assistant: Anna del...
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 EL NUEVO ALARMA! IS MEXICO’S BEST CRIME TABLOID...
The Vice InterviewAlarma! is the oldest of Mexico's prensa roja (red press) tabloids. It is mostly made up of gruesome news stories, photos of mutilated corpses, and headlines that contain 1960s-Borscht-Belt-comedian-worthy puns about death and pain. We recently spoke with Miguel Angel Rodriguez Vaz...
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 RECORDS
Music Reviews - v15n1JAY-Z
American Gangster
Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam
Everybody's walking around saying this album is great. They're wrong. It's better than Jigga's last piece of crap, but it's hardly reminiscent of Reasonable Doubt and The Blueprint, as Hov claimed it should be. And t...
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 VICE FASHION - POSTCARDS FROM THE BIG CALF ISLAND
The best Finnish saunas are on private islands like this one, Iso Vasikkasaari (roughly "Big Calf Island"). You have to take a car and boat to get there, but it's worth it. The name of the sauna we visited is Gula Villan ("The Yellow Cabin"). It's from the turn of the last century and it's kind of a...
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 SKULLS AND BONES IN SIERRA LEONE
Rolling Dice to Talk to the DeadI'm bending over an open grave in Sierra Leone and trying not to fall in. A boy stands next to me. He's a member of a crew of kids who call themselves Skull and Bones. He points inside and says, "Look, do you see the head?" I can't, so he pulls the cracked gravestone farther from its resting place. ...
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 COUNTERFEIT FUN
After the media frenzy last summer about Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park's blatant and badly done Disney World rip-offs, the majority of the attractions were summarily demolished. Besides the wannabe Epcot Center and Cinderella's Castle, everything resembling Disney has been torn down and thrown ...
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 THE PEOPLE'S LISTS
10 Really Unusual Medical Conditions10 REALLY UNUSUAL MEDICAL CONDITIONS
ART ATTACK
Fine art can really make you sick. Or so says Dr. Graziella Magherini, author of The Stendhal Syndrome. She has studied more than a hundred tourists in Florence, Italy, who became ill in the presence of great works. The sy...
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 BEES AND TREES
A Conversation Between Baby Dee and Matt SweeneyBaby Dee is a singer-songwriter-harpist-pianist with a voice like an angel who fell from heaven. She has played with Current 93 for a while now, and she just put out a solo record of strong and sad and pretty songs on the Drag City label.
Matt Sweeney is the best guitarist around, probabl...
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 GULLY-SIDAL TENDENCIES
Mavado's a Gangster For Life (Ad Nauseum)Mavado is the best thing to have happened to dancehall in years. He has the premier new catchphrases ("Anywaaaaayeeeeeee" and "Gangster for liiiife"), if you look into his eyes you'd swear it was the devil looking back at you, and his debut album is a dark, intense masterpiece. He came over to Londo...
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 DO IT!
Roadtrip to Sheffeild for a bassline rave......
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 YET MORE FUCKING HIPPIES
Yeasayer Douse Us in Patchouli OilEver had a hangover that you could describe as "beautiful"? They're not common. They're not your regular earth shattering- shit- your- bowels- out-of-a- ringpiece-that- feels-like-its-been- soaked-in- stinging-nettles- for-a-week-every- five-minutes- accompanied-by- waves-of-nausea- that-make-you- f...
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 FEEL THE DARKNESS
Living And Breathing in Dirt in OdessaDavid Gillanders grew up in Glasgow and like most Glaswegians he soon found himself immersed in the sport known as "fighting". Because he was smart, David decided to do his fighting in the relative safety of a boxing gym, rather than down the back alley behind Barrowlands. Inspired by the black and ...
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 ENDLESS HARMONIACALS
Talibam! Sounds Like "Being Torn to Pieces by Helicopter Blades"Jazz can be scary. Unless you are some child prodigy in a Richard Powers novel, it's unlikely you will experience that much jazz in your quotidian existence. In general you evolve through the elementary pre-pubescent guitar music phase, through the ensuing weed-induced dalliances with hip-hop, the e...
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 VICE FICTION - MY APPETITE
by Joe DunthorneI began stealing when I was twenty-two. The first thing I stole was a chocolate muffin. I started eating it on my way round the supermarket and finished it before I got to the till. From then on, whenever I did my weekly food shop, I'd steal something: a luxury item like olives or cashew nuts or, on...
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 LARPs OF THE NEAR FUTURE
SINergy Take Nightclubbing to the Next LevelEverybody knows that Live Action Role Playing is the funnest way to turn your pointless existence into a thrill ride of unbounded possibilities and constant adventure, right?
But imagine if you took LARP out of the forests and Quasar centres and transported it into the most exciting envir...
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 SKINEMA
One thing I've been rather curious about lately is how much exactly is it to buy a kid from some third world country. I've heard anywhere from $40,000 to $80,000. And if those numbers are correct, how do I go about brokering a deal for one of these sought-after poor kids? How do my wife and I become...
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 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
At the end of October last year, Bogdan Raczynski fell from a hotel window in Graz, Austria, and ended up in hospital with two broken heels. Heels–ouch. In Graz to perform at the four-day Elevate festival, the mild-mannered rave heavyweight–who slipped off the scene a few years ago but is emp...
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 NEWSFLASH: ELECTRO STILL SUCKS
But We Make Exceptions for D.I.M. and BrodinskiAlthough few history books will be using this as a reference, and many casual observers may not be aware of this, as far as some dance fans are concerned we have entered the post-Justice era. Since electroclash disbanded, like a rent boy rumbled by a policeman mid-job, there's been a promise of a ne...
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 AMPLIFIED SAMPLES
The Art of Stealing by Girl TalkSamples. There are plenty of rotters out there dressing their shitty songs up in them, applying them as liberally as possible without realising everyone can see straight through their horribly stuck-together musical golems to their tiny, inverted, shrivel-dicked, barren, soulless cores. Those guys a...
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 LITERARY
Born In The Bronx, I Want to Remember You Like This Forever, 1-800-Mice Issue 1Born In The Bronx
A Visual Record of the Early Days of Hip Hop
Publisher: Rizzoli
"Early Hip Hop"–when I read that I was tempted to put this in the bin next to the three copies of Wild Style's 25th anniversary book that arrived in the office. So, apparently hip-hop...
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