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DOS & DON'TS

So you Junior Mengeles weren't content with your cockapoos and beagadors and pugadoodles and now you've graduated to full-on monstrosities like giant two-mouthed pit bulls and sideways husky-terriers. Disgusting. At least Dr. Moreau had the decency to keep his abominations locked away on an island. Comments/Enlarge | See all


Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, whoa. Not trying to tell you what you can and can’t do with that face, but maybe you should leave the tricycling through the Red Light district in a raincoat to someone a shade less skeezy. Right now you’re making my ass clench so hard I’m worried my next dump will be glass. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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PHOTOS BY JAMIE-JAMES MEDINA




Click on images to enlarge
North Korea’s Arirang Mass Games are held annually in Pyongyang’s 150,000-seat May Day Stadium. The two-hour performance involves over 60,000 actors, gymnasts, and acrobats mixed with lasers, fireworks, flying cars, and up to 40,000 students manning colored flip cards to form dramatic backdrops depicting battle scenes, a glowing Kim Il-sung, a giant tae kwon do man kicking a plank of wood, and the national flag. The performance ends with a huge globe entering the stadium as everyone sings and dances under a call for the unification of North and South Korea.


This soldier showed us around the USS Pueblo, which is one of the primary attractions in North Korea. All visitors are made to watch a video showing how in 1968, North Korean waters were invaded by imperialist US forces sent to spy on their great land. Local tour guides nod and smile as they tell how the North Korean Navy triumphantly battled the international spies, who were taken prisoner and quickly admitted their mistake.

In reality, the American surveillance ship was based off the east coast of Korea in international waters. On what was scheduled to be its final day of duty, the ship was attacked by North Korean naval vessels. One US sailor was killed, and the surviving 82 crewmembers were taken prisoner and placed in POW camps for 11 months, where they were starved and beaten. The sailors were also forced to pose for propaganda photos released to the US. They would raise their middle fingers to the camera to signal their treatment, claiming it was a “Hawaiian good-luck sign.” Nice!

Years later, it was rumored that the ship’s capture was planned by the Soviet Union, which was looking for a cryptographic machine on board. As the Pueblo is the only captured US Navy ship still in commission, Kim Jong-il has specified that it be used to promote anti-Americanism.


The Mangyongdae Schoolchildren’s Palace was opened in 1998 and serves the children of North Korea’s elite. With 690 rooms, the school offers classes in music, dance, calligraphy, embroidery, tae kwon do, basketball, and computers. In one room about 20 boys were learning Photoshop on ancient Macs. We asked one boy what he wanted to be when he was older and he said, “A political scientist, so I can help fight the imperialists.” He was nine years old.


It is believed that every room on every floor of every building in North Korea features portraits of Great Leader Kim Il-sung and his son, Dear Leader Kim Jong-il. The images sit side by side, hung high to the ceiling and angled down so as to avoid them being hit by any sunlight.


TO BE CONTINUED:
INSIDE PYONGYANG
| 1 | 2 | 3 | Next>

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