NEWSLETTER


DOS & DON'TS

If anything’s going to cut through all the divisive bullshit surrounding immigration and bring us all together it’s not going be some corny political slogan or a song or even a chain of restaurants. It’s got to be something profound and universal. Like embarrassing dads. Comments/Enlarge | See all


How would you rather spend eternity: listening to Doors fans sob over the alcoholic loser you got buried next to or continually pushing a rock up a hill only to have it roll back down at the top EVERY FUCKING TIME. We’ll take the boulder. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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JONATHAN BLACK



Click on images to enlarge
On February 3, 2006, two weeks after Laura and I got married at City Hall, she got into a terrible bike accident. She doesn’t remember what happened and there were no witnesses. They found her lying two blocks away from the restaurant she worked at. She had flown forward straight onto her face without putting her hands out to break her fall. We have no idea what caused it.


This was the most harrowing sight of my life. Not only because of how she looked, but because she was delirious and vomiting blood. The doctors were talking about potential brain damage or a broken C1 vertebra (the same bone Christopher Reeve broke). It was terrifying. Luckily, it ended up just being a broken nose and cheekbone and lots of bruising. Also, her front tooth was knocked out, which is actually what saved her from more serious injury to her neck or brain because it took all the weight of the fall. It was a miracle tooth.


Laura bounced back surprisingly fast after such a traumatizing accident. I think she recovered better than I did. I still suffer from the worst anxiety when we ride our bikes together. This photo was taken seven months later outside Austin, Texas. That date-stamp is wrong. I was shooting with a little camera I bought at a flea market, and the date was stuck in 1998. In 1998 Laura would have been 12, which would make me a considerable pervert.




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Comments

blickblondhi, on Apr 30, 2009 wrote:
i love her so hornily.
Anonymous, on Mar 20, 2009 wrote:
Buddy I’m going to steal your wife
Anonymous, on Nov 30, 2008 wrote:
GGGGGG
Anonymous, on Nov 13, 2008 wrote:
www.jonathanowenblack.com
Anonymous, on Sep 20, 2008 wrote:
Why is the fact that people get married when they are 21 so shocking to people? I don’t think the naked body is 100% sexual all the time. If you’re comfortable in your skin, do whatever you want with it.
Anonymous, on Aug 29, 2008 wrote:
i’ve just taken a pic of my grandfather’s haemorroid. how can i post it on vice
Anonymous, on Aug 25, 2008 wrote:
You are right! My writing is awful!

Jonathan
TheInfamous, on Aug 18, 2008 wrote:
uhh why was this posted... why topless?
Anonymous, on Aug 16, 2008 wrote:
Where’s the bathroom at... asshole.
Anonymous, on Aug 16, 2008 wrote:
"...from the restaurant she worked at."

Um, guy who writes for a living? Or at least does so on a website? It’s

"...from the restaurant where she worked."

You must be the kind of guy I overhear asking "Where’s the bathroom at?" at parties/restaurants/in my nightmares. It makes people sound a trashy and uneducated. Just sayin’.


Anonymous, on Aug 5, 2008 wrote:
Show me love.
Anonymous, on Aug 2, 2008 wrote:
Why would she be smiling with blood on her face?

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