TIDBITSA Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Boyfriends And Girlfriends Issue
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MAKING YOUR FOOT GRUNGE
Grunge died when what’s-his-name blew his head off, but that doesn’t mean you can’t put most of your sock up by your toes and drape your shirtsleeve over your heel to make a portable little grunge buddy that’s always happy to talk with you about the old days.
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ASSOLUTI
You know somebody’s proud of their last name when they could give a shit if they’re putting ass on their cheese. |
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HERITAGE BITES
The word “heritage” usually makes us think of skinheads and old white guys with a lot of stuff to say about rap music. What’s that, 0.000032 percent of the population? You might as well make a cereal for Americans who know where Canada is. |
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UNCLE JESSE’S NUTS
Either the man behind this snack is mentally ill or he wants you to put his testicles in your mouth.
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AFTER EIGHTS
Going to your parents’ friends’ house for dinner was always a torturous bore, but remember when they’d pull these out? It was like an adult candy and you could only have one at a time because they each had individual envelopes that made them special. This is the first time that kids learn “less is more,” which comes in real handy later on during the drug phase.
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MY GIRLFRIEND’S ASS CALLING CARDS
You can pretend that Hispanics miss the waterfalls of Nicaragua and the rolling mountains of Colombia but if you did that you wouldn’t sell any long-distance calling cards, now would you?
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JEFF FOXWORTHY BEEF JERKY
We see this jerky fucking everywhere. It’s kind of like Heritage Bites but way less obvious.
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SHIT BISCUITS
These sell really well in Germany for some reason.
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CHILD DROWNER
This adorable little ghost has been known to reach out from under bridges, grab children, and drown them. It’s like Santa Claus but instead of encouraging kids to be good by rewarding them with presents the Japanese are teaching children to be careful around water by threatening them with drowning monsters. Nice.
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FUCKER BUS
We’ve said this before and we’ll say it again: “Lose the cargo shorts. How much shit can you possibly have to carry?” |
THIS MONTH’S WINNER: MAKING YOUR FOOT GRUNGE
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To win your free subscription to Vice, send tidbits to:
North America:VICE Magazine,
97 North 10th Street, Suite 202, Brooklyn, NY, USA 11211.
UK:
VICE Magazine,
77 Leonard street, london, ec2a 4qs. mail: info@viceuk.com
Australia:
VICE Australia, Mailbox 61, 278 CHURCH ST, Richmond, Victoria 3121
Scandinavia:
VICE Magazine,
ST. Eriksgatan 48 A, 112 34 Stockholm, Sweden. Email: info@viceland.se |
 Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
Hm-m-m, such a nice magazine were all the shit from over the world placed. Keep on | | Anonymous, on Jun 9, 2009 wrote:
golliwog candies!
if packaging in the us was that awesome, we’d have just about everything we need. | | Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
sit on my face | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
Tims makes the *best* Salt & Vinegar chips--and its amazing with Cabernet ;) | | Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Correction asshole: MUSICIANS benefit humanity. The industry benefits nobody but the industry. | | Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Fuck you Vice for promoting music theft and fuck snot-nosed whiny babies with an entitlement complex who cant shell out fucking 0.99 for a song you can play for the rest of your life and don’t care if they’re comlpetely destroying an industry that benefits humanity immeasurably. Cunts. | |
| crimewave, on Feb 8, 2009 wrote:
i recognized those xanax from a thumbnail. fuck. yeah. | | Anonymous, on Feb 5, 2009 wrote:
aw i love this | | Anonymous, on Feb 2, 2009 wrote:
i drove past sambo’s in santa barbara in april 2000 and everyone in the car had exactly the same reaction. the fact that there was a storm coming, so it looked like a ghost town just added to the "did we just drive back to the forties?" feeling. | | Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
nacism? | | Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
Don’t you know SHIT is the shit? | | Anonymous, on Dec 1, 2008 wrote:
POT
"Me and my girl rolled about three joints before watching The Ring and oh my god did we ever get scared. bollocks !!!
smoke 3 joints and walk around glasgow | | Anonymous, on Nov 28, 2008 wrote:
bag hutch | | Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote:
sink ma teef innit
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| Tiago, on Oct 16, 2008 wrote:
The eyedrops are not american | | Anonymous, on Sep 5, 2008 wrote:
That is not a "cheap slingshot" in the rattlesnake egg envelope. Spin the plastic or metal ring that is suspended by the two rubber bands and put it back in the envelope like that.. then, when someone opens the envelope it makes a loud noise (as the rubber bands unravel, spinning the button against the paper)and they yell and then everyone laughs. say duh, you cheap thief. | | Anonymous, on Jul 13, 2008 wrote:
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! | | Anonymous, on Jul 11, 2008 wrote:
Edgy stuff!!!!!!!!!! | | Anonymous, on Jul 3, 2008 wrote:
I’ve been enjoying hot spotted cock for years. | | Anonymous, on Jun 22, 2008 wrote:
BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE haha I saw that at work the other day and the bagger and I couldn’t stop laughing!
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