BEST BAND NAME EVER?

Usually in the office here we get subjected to French electro that all sounds like it’s been made out of an identikit jelly mould, cheesy pop stuff or earnest 60s rock. Don’t get me wrong, I’m into all of those things but sometimes you want to hear something that sounds like its going to rip your neck off and then feed it to some rats just for having the temerity to put it on. We first heard Coke Bust when Dom from Pulling Teeth put us on to their MySpace. They are part of a wave of DC bands like Sick Fix, Government Warning and Black SS that have returned to the straight edge sound and values espoused by The Year in 7"s-era Dischord stuff. Their first seven-inch is out on Headcount Records next month.

You guys play straight edge hardcore. Ever fallen off the wagon?

Parsons: We are all edge. To me edge is just something that I am and that I choose to do. It means I don’t like to drink or do drugs and I am in no hurry to grow up. Besides that, edge doesn’t mean much. I couldn’t really care less about the dominant straight edge scene today. I don’t think straight edge is anything to care too much about or to be militant about. Do what you want. I don’t give a fuck.

Jeremy: Coke Bust is a straight edge band that deals with straight edge-related issues. For me, straight edge has always been a personal choice, one I made 17 or so years ago. But I also don’t exclude people from my social circle if they aren’t straight edge. That would just be closed-minded. But can you be an edge band without being edge? No, you cannot.

What about the band name? What’s the big hang up with coke?

Nick: I don’t feel strongly about cocaine in relation to any other drug out there. It’s just another vice that can easily ruin your life. So fuck coke.

How do you feel about hipsters appropriating hardcore?

Parsons: Fuck the Black Cat, fuck all of Adams Morgan, fuck looking like Bettie Page and James Dean, fuck the Wonderland Ballroom, fuck dance nights, fuck all the stupid trendy ass fucks. They have no place in hardcore. If you want to go to Britpop dance nights, stay there because we don’t want you here.

Wow. You all seem really angry. Is there anything that makes you guys happy?

Chris: At the moment I am filled with hate and my hate runs deep with a man named Marc Levin. That guy is a total scumbag! If you see a long black-haired, scummy metalhead in your area, kick his ass or tell him to get the fuck out, because chances are he’ll probably lie to you, steal from you, or just straight up take advantage of you. Scumbag.

Nick: There are lots of things that make me happy. Skateboarding, warm weather, South Park, fast music, ice hockey, playing Madden07 against 13-year-olds over the network on PS2 and talking shit over the headset, the Ramones, hanging out with my friends, and cherry tomatoes make me stoked as fuck.

Anything else you want to say while we’re here?

Parsons: DC harDCore is better than you!

ROCCO CASTORO