hat you may not know is that Benjamin is also a master of the ol’ stick ’n’ poke. Out of the gutter,
los pervos! We’re referring to homemade tattoos: The old-fashioned, punk-rock DIY ones, done with a needle and thread. Over the years, Cho has performed dozens of these tattoos on his close friends (“And ONE random acquaintance,” he huffs), and he is here, along with 23-year-old makeup artist and willing volunteer Alexis Page, to show us how it’s done. Take it away, Ben…
First we’ll need supplies. Number one is a pin or needle. I thank God every day that I am a fashion designer, just so I can own so many pins. ONLY KIDDING! We all know there is no God. Anyhoo, there is an abundance of little pricks to be found EVERYWHERE. Hundreds of them. Occasionally even to be found penetrating my skin. Uh... That sounded completely ribald. We’re talking pins here! Any straight pin, gay pin, sewing needle, or safety pin will suffice.
Other supplies you will need include: Cotton thread for harboring the ink, a cup of water (or in this case a teacup, which I couple with a matching saucer for an extra touch of class), a nonpermanent pen for drawing and redrawing the image or script, Q-tips or a rag, and a quality ink. Actual tattoo ink, I find, is the most effective as it does not have a tendency to bleed or fade. However it is not easily available, so I would also suggest using an India or a Sumi ink. Some people have said that they actually prefer these choices. Personally, I think it is only because they never actually used real tattoo ink and are being foolishly peremptory. Come to think of it, could I be doing the same thing? No way.
You will also need one other very important thing: Live, willing flesh! (Note: Throw in a pair of latex gloves if you’re giving a tat to someone “live, willing, and positive.”)
And finally, I reluctantly agree to allow prescription painkillers for said live, willing flesh. Alexis here decided to pop half a Xanax. I normally would not encourage any painkillers other than alcohol, because it seems a bit lily-livered and honestly I’m a bit of a sadist. OK, I’m an ABSOLUTE sadist. If I wore leather (yay Peta) and could grow ample facial hair (boo Korea), I’d be harnessed, studded, and replete with handlebar mustache. Daddy Cho Cho Bear.
So anyways, I comply with the pills, imagining a potentially woozy, potentially drooling Alexis as a source of potential amusement. In addition, I thought the no-booze slant would add some responsible sensitivity to the half of downtown NYC denizens who are in “the program.” A tat is NOT worth a Zero Days.
Now draw out what you want tattooed. In this case, Alexis has decided to get “Rosemary’s Baby” tattooed on her right hip. Alexis’s mother’s name is Rosemary and whenever Alexis was misbehavin’, her mother would say, “You really are Rosemary’s baby!” And... Uh... THEN, little clairvoyant Alexis would respond, “Well, that makes YOU Mia Farrow! And your future husband is gonna fuck AND Polaroid your naked adopted daughter!” Then her mother would one-up little Alexis by telling her, “Well, guess what?! YOU are adopted! Have fun!” Not to be outdone, Alexis would throw down the final words, “I know! I DO! I’m friggin’ clairvoyant!” Then they would crumple into a pile of laughs and hugs... And a touch of lost innocence. For those who seek the truth, heed only the first three sentences of the above.
So continuing on with the tattooing. Our next step is to sterilize the needle by holding it over a flame until the tip glows red. Unless you have the calloused fingers of a hot, hunky chef such as, say, Anthony Bourdain, hold the opposite end of the needle with a cloth.
When the needle has cooled, begin wrapping the thread around it. Start at approximately 1/8" from the tip and continue along for about 1/4", wrapping back and forth until it forms a perfect ink-absorbing oval shape. Tie off.
BENJAMIN CHO
FEATURING ALEXIS PAGE
TO BE CONTINUED:
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