SO, AHAB, CAN I BUM MY DOOBAGE? - PART 2Movies That Made Us Wanna Do Drugs
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THE BREAKFAST CLUB
“Da chick can’t hold de smoke, dat’s what it is.” I had no idea what the hell Anthony Michael Hall was talking about, but man, did it make me want to try marijuana. Do you know what I learned about smoking doobage from The Breakfast Club? 1) It makes you a really good dancer. 2) It makes you able to shatter a glass door with your mind. 3) It is a bonding experience that has the power to unite a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal across social, economic, and sexual barriers—if for but a moment. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club. |
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COREY HAIM AND COREY FELDMAN
Yes, I realize the Coreys aren’t a movie, but considering how wacky their lives have been, aren’t they close enough? After I heard they were junkies I liked them even more. The Lost Boys was great because Jason Patrick was cute and the theme song “Cry Little Sister” was goth for kids who weren’t into goth. I don’t know if the Coreys were on drugs then. I think they started to get heavy into it after Blown Away. Blown Away was soft-core porn starring the Coreys and Nicole Eggert from Charles in Charge fame. The only thing I remember about Blown Away is that Nicole Eggert sits naked behind a huge stuffed teddy bear. She was trying to turn the Coreys on but she ended up turning America on! |
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THE FRENCH CONNECTION
My dad rented this when I was a kid and we watched it on our top-loading VCR. There’s a scene where Gene Hackman is at a bar filled with African-Americans and he makes them all empty their drugs out. It’s a shakedown, basically. So these gentlemen empty the contents of their pockets onto the bar and it’s just EVERYthing—every possible drug you could imagine. And then Gene pours a beer on all of it. It made me wonder about a lot of things: About beer, about the stuff in the white bags, about the stuff in the brown bags, about the stuff that was rolled up, and about the powdery stuff that was flying everywhere. Meanwhile all the guys are going, “Aw c’mon, man!” And I thought, hmm, they really like this stuff, whatever it is. I wonder what it does…
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MODERN GIRLS
This movie was a classic rental in my household on sick days. Three LA girls get all dolled up and have a crazy night on the town. This is exactly what I thought being a grown-up was going to be like: Martini glasses, lace gloves, boas, boyfriends, and bustiers. Virgina Madsen plays the hot blond who won’t put up with her two-timing DJ boyfriend. Daphne Zuniga, whom you may remember from Melrose Place and Spaceballs, plays the cool, sophisticated brunette who is really picky about guys but ends up with the nerdy underdog. Then there’s the sassy redhead (played by some girl you’ve never heard of) with short hair and she’s like the “cute one.” Whenever me and my sister played “Modern Girls,” I was her because I was the youngest. Anyway, this movie was my first foray into the adult world of boozing and nightclubbing and I most definitely wanted in. I don’t think the girls in Modern Girls were alcoholics, but I became one and I blame them for it.
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LABYRINTH
I don’t know if “enchanted” apples count as drugs, but it still made me wanna do them. Lots of them. I mean, look at that fucking thing. After watching David Bowie dance around with nightmarish puppets like this li’l funster, even the worst acid trip in the world couldn’t rattle you. Thanks, Labyrinth.
LESLEY ARFIN |
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