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DOS & DON'TS

Remember all those soul-deadening jobs where they’d make you wear some stained-up secondhand workshirt that came down to your knees and how hard you’d try to cool up the periphery in case you ran into anybody you knew? I wonder if that’s why punk and goth girls always cram so much shit on their necks and arms. Comments/Enlarge | See all


She’s aiming at “grunge goes to college” but it’s coming off more like the cover artwork of a porno VHS where schoolgirls have to drink the jizz of hairy Germans out of a martini glass. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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I WANT MY DVDS

Movie Reviews - The Iraq Issue



All reviews by Iraqi Konfused Kid


I Know I’m Not Alone: A Musician’s Search for the Human Cost of War
Epitaph/WEA

So here’s Michael Franti, this huge, lanky kid with an acoustic guitar and breadlocks, and he goes inside a war-ravaged country to try and pry open “all the answers.” Not surprisingly, he manages to completely miss the real pulse of Iraq, presenting his Iraqi subjects with the same patronizing concern you’d expect any kind-souled Westerner to feel towards any war-torn, lower-being Third World humans. It’s almost shocking how out-of-touch Franti is with what’s going on around him. He decides that making up a song with an Arabic word would be a good ice breaker, so he welcomes himself into each house he visits by jumping up and down in the center of the room singing “habibi” repeatedly while the family members sit back and smile politely at the dancing Western idiot. I’m not sure if this is exactly what he was searching for, but if the human cost of war is being locked in a round of humor-the-foreigner-until-he-goes-away by some messiah-tripping Bob-Marley-wannabee maybe it’s more horrific than we thought.

Monsters and Madness
Criterion

Even back under Saddam, when we weren’t allowed to have email, you could still find pretty much any Western movie you could ask for (porn excluded) for pennies on the dollar. I once took a cousin who was visiting from the States to a video market and he went nuts seeing what all was available. I don’t recall seeing any of the four 50s horror/sci-fi flicks collected here, perhaps because they are four of the most forgettable films committed to celluloid. They’re not even terrible enough to be funny—just average, average, average.



Don’t Look Back (1965 Tour Deluxe Edition)
New Video Group

Basically no one in Iraq has ever heard of Bob Dylan. A lot of folks are into some Western stuff like Iron Maiden and Linkin Park, but Dylan never made it over here. The only way I found out about him was by being into Metallica and Nirvana, then using the internet to skip back and see what led to their styles of music. It was nice to see him at his prime —his whole carefree, pensive persona exudes nothing but charm. I have a hard time believing folks are still really into these tunes though—it’s all so old- and antique sounding.

Beavis and Butt-head: The Mike Judge Collection
MTV

You’d think that idiocy would be universally appealing, but somehow American “adult cartoon” fare like this and The Simpsons doesn’t translate well into the Arab world. Maybe it has something to do with all the Beavises and Homers running around our backyards with guns. Anyways, this collection was a treat, although spanning a ridiculous ten discs (including the 1996 movie) it’s way too much stupid for a single or even a triple sitting. Also, for some reason most of the important couch-video-reviews are sadly gone.

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