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LAAM IS FOR LAHAM
Laham is Arabic for “meat.” Iraqi lamb is the best of the lot. That’s why sheep smuggling has become a lucrative business for some people in neighboring Iran and Saudi Arabia. The fact that most Iraqis cannot live without meat has allowed greedy butchers to keep making their products’ prices higher and higher. Iraqis eat meat at two or even sometimes three of the daily meals. All meat in Iraq is organic and thus incredibly tasty. Sheep and cow are very popular, but some people also like camel’s meat. And you can forget about pork.


MEEM IS FOR MUTHAFAR AL-NAWWAB
This guy’s a legendary communist rebel poet, famous across the Middle East for his dramatic and political writing. In the early 70s he was invited to recite his poetry at an Arab League meeting, at which he proceeded to curse and swear at every head of state present in the room. His comrades had to quickly smuggle him out of the country and he now lives in Syria. He’s also a renowned drunk.


NOON IS FOR NABUG
The dictionary says the English equivalent for this round-shaped fruit is “Christ’s thorn.” To Iraqis, it’s all kids’ favorite fruit. If you see a bunch of little Iraqis gathering around a tree and hurling stones, sticks, and sometimes shoes, you know it’s a nabug tree. Though it stinks like smelly socks, it’s delicious. A spooky myth is linked to this tree—they say if a house has one in its yard and the owners intentionally chop it down, a family member will croak soon.


HAA’ IS FOR HUMMER 
These boxy US military vehicles have become an inbuilt part of post-invasion Iraqi culture. When a fleet of Hummers passes by any Iraqi street, people tend to keep a distance, lest they are shot at by the jumpy American soldiers inside. The sight of a Hummer in any neighborhood means trouble. If Americans are attacked, all hell breaks loose in the shape of detentions and random gunfire. To Iraqi children in more rundown areas, Hummers means US-made candy bars from less aggressive soldiers.


WAW IS FOR WARD JOORI
These bright-colored Iraqi roses look as nice as they smell. Iraqis are fond of gardening and ward joori really brighten the landscape. In springtime, schoolgirls like to pick red, pink, and white flowers to give to their teachers as a token of respect.


YAA’ IS FOR YEZIDIS
The Yezidis are an ancient Iraqi devil-worshipping sect. Originally from northern Iraq, they bow down to Melek Ta’us (the Peacock Angel) whom they also call Shaytan (Satan). Melek Ta’us is basically Lucifer except the Yezidi side of the story of creation says that God gave Lucifer props and a camp peacock outfit for defying his orders.


MINO JIBILLA


THE VICE GUIDE TO IRAQ | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

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