NEWSLETTER

Iraq is more than just exploding bodies, bloodthirsty zealots, and confused American soldiers. It’s also got spicy meat soups and raisin-juice, verdant rose bushes, and centuries of culture and tradition. Here’s our guide to Iraq from Alif to Yaa’.

ALIF IS FOR AHWAR
Ahwar is the name of the marshlands in the southern part of Iraq. The people there have lived the same way for thousands of years and are among the few remaining ancient cultures on earth. To this day they live in huts made of braided reeds surrounded by water buffalo. Saddam made life hell for them by building a dam that dried up their territory. Now that Saddam’s gone and the water’s back they have sectarian death squads, cancer, and jumpy military folk to keep them busy.


BAA’ IS FOR BAGHDAD HIGH SCHOOL FOR GIRLS
If you are a teenager, have a car, and are looking for a girl to go out with on a date, Baghdad High School for Girls is the place to go. Placed in a very fancy neighborhood, this school teaches the daughters of some of the richest families in Baghdad. This should be obvious from the luxury cars with drivers waiting in the parking lot outside the front door at any time of the school day. Unfortunately, there are policemen protecting the girls from being harassed. You have to be very charming and have a very fancy car to outsmart the police—pretend to be a sibling and pick up the girl as quickly as you can before they notice, or you’ll be in trouble.


TAA’ IS FOR TEA TIME
Undecided about where to go out for the weekend with friends? There is always the old standby Tea Time. Established in the mid-90s in the rich Harthiya neighborhood, this fast-food restaurant serves enormous sandwiches. Their burgers are so huge that they make the Big Mac look like a White Castle slider. Tea Time has been slowly extending its property for the past few years and now owns the entire two-story building in which it was once-upon-a-time renting a small shop. Iraq is still free from all the American junk-food restaurants at this point—most Iraqis believe that if a Burger King were to open in Baghdad, it’d still lose business against the local fast-food chains.


THAA’ IS FOR THIREED
Thireed was originally a Bedouin meal but flourished and became very popular in Iraq. It consists mainly of bread dipped in meat soup and huge chunks of meat. Iraqis are so into meat they even eat kebabs at breakfast, and this is like the Iraqi Rib-Eye Steak Dish.


JEEM IS FOR JADIRIYA CLUB (NADI AL-JADIRIYA)
Jadiriya Club is the top social club of high-aristocratic families in Iraq. Uday Hussein originally founded it in the early 90s as a horseback-riding club for his fellow equestrians, but the beautiful gardens, brilliant scenery, and nice settings began to attract all the rich families in Iraq. These families tend to have a very Westernized lifestyle, and it became normal to see daughters and sons of different families dating, partying, or going on boat rides in the river Dijlah. After the war, the Jadiriya club was taken over and now serves as a military base.


HAA’ IS FOR HAJJI ZBALA (OLD MAN GARBAGE)
A small cafeteria in Baghdad that opened in 1901 and is named for its owner, Mr. Zbala (that’s the Arabic word for “garbage”). His parents named him “Garbage” at a time when some superstitious Iraqis would also give their kids names like “Donkey” or “Piss” to ward off the evil eye. This obviously worked for little Zbala, as it sealed his destiny as the most popular raisin-juice-shop owner in Iraq. It was the photo-op place of choice for Iraqi political figures over the past century.

MINO JIBILLA


TO BE CONTINUED:
THE VICE GUIDE TO IRAQ | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next>

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