The only bad part of capturing a sleepy-eyed supertigress like this in the wild is trying to think up some bullshit to write about her shirt.Comments/Enlarge |
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New dads take note. When you work away from home too much and raise your kids on birthday magicians, cartoons and MTV Emo hour you will come home one day to this and start yelling: Sarah, I can't even recognize Kylie any more.Comments/Enlarge |
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THIS IS WHO IS IN THE SECOND ANNUAL FICTION ISSUE OF VICE MAGAZINE JESSE ARMSTRONG
He has written for the critically savaged UK adaptation of the sitcom That 70s Show and the critically not-savaged, hilarious, award-winning British comedy Peep Show. He also co-wrote the savagely funny BBC show READ MORE
VICE PRESENTS THE PEOPLE'S LISTS Biographies of Four 19th-Century Novelists HONORÉ DE BALZAC (1799-1850)
Balzac, one of the supreme writers of realistic fiction, was, in his own life, a man of gross appetites and pretensions as well as of gargantuan genius and accomplishment...READ MORE
GARY FISKETJON EDITS YOUR HEROES The Vice Interview Gary Fisketjon is an editor at large and vice president of Knopf. When he worked at Vintage Books from 1980 to 1986, he created the Vintage Contemporaries series. Among the writers he has edited are Raymond Carver, Bret Easton Ellis, Patricia Highsmith, Cormac...READ MORE
SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPAREL By Tao Lin This is a true story about stealing from a corporation. American Apparel is a corporation. Therefore if they stop making a lot of profits they'll stop existing, the fair-labor workplaces will be closed, another Circuit City or maybe Wendy's will open, or else ...READ MORE
TRAILER By Robert Coover Noir is a short novel starring you as Philip M. Noir, Private Investigator. It began as a story about a dockside detective in pursuit of something-like truth or beauty, the ineffable-and became over the course of its writing a kind of companion piece ...READ MORE
DOLGIER By Richard Price This novel is set on the Lower East Side. I've been obsessed with the neighborhood my whole life, and this latest incarnation of it as a sort of La Bohème playground is extremely ironic to me. The kids who are down there now-my kids-know it like the bac...READ MORE
SCRATCH - EXCERPT FROM A NOVEL IN PROGRESS By Nick Tosches I have been working on this novel for more than ten years. During those years, I have written and published other books, but this one remains unfinished. I have come to realize that this is because it is a work that comes forth from me only when darkness takes...READ MORE
ASSSSCAT'S TEMPORARY, ONE-NIGHT ONLY, FUNNY STORIES The Vice Interview Improv comedy is the bravest, most immediate form of making up stories that there is. It's not always the funniest, or the smartest, or the best, but it's always the bravest. The dawgs who do this shit have big balls, yo...READ MORE
ORGY By John Haskell There's a famous line from the movie The Wild Ones. Marlon Brando, playing the part of a motorcycle rebel, has rolled into town, and when a townsperson asks him, "What are you protesting against," he says, "Wha'd ya got?" Although Brando was almost 30...READ MORE
CARY GRANT ON LSD By John Haskell Cary Grant had the persona of a happy-go-lucky guy, but as a human being he must've had conflicts. He said as much when he started taking LSD. This was in the late 1950s, when his acting career had already peaked, his marriages hadn't worked out, and...READ MORE
BEING A MONSTER By John Haskell These stories are part of a novel I'm writing, and the novel is about how we create the idea of utopia, and then what happens to that idea. We start out with a kind of dissatisfaction, something isn't quite right with the world; it's unjust or unfair or we can...READ MORE
ASSASSIN By Evan S. Connell Some years ago I floated down a stretch of the Colorado River to Lake Powell on a rubber raft alongside other rafts packed with vacationing college girls, airline stewardesses, a grocer from San Jose, and I do not remember who else. It took about ten days. Eve...READ MORE
THE SATANIC MODEL OF PSYCHOSEXUAL DEVELOPMENT By Gus Visco My initial outline for this story was framed around the five phases of Freud's model of psychosexual development, hence the title. I wanted a story about a child-rearing program designed to create maladjusted sexual deviants. When I was finished I had...READ MORE
POPPY Z. BRITE IS THE KING/QUEEN OF NEW ORLEANS The Vice Interview Poppy Z. Brite’s early novels are full of vampires, angsty teenagers, and other beautiful, tortured creatures, often sexually ambiguous and with varying shades of flaxen, crimson, or raven hair, tangled and blowing in the hot wind. Her first two novels, Lost S...READ MORE
COLLEGE TOWN By Mary Gaitskill This story was written in 1982. It is an early version of a story called "Family," that was written for my first collection, titled Bad Behavior, but got cut; it is also an early version of a story called "Orchid" that was published in my second collect...READ MORE
WOMEN HOLDING STRANGE CREATURES Drawings by Quentin Blake These drawings grew from a set of pictures that I did a few years ago of children talking to strange creatures on beaches. They were a bit like illustrations to unwritten stories by E. Nesbit. Then when I revisited them more recently I discovered that the girl...READ MORE
IN CRETACEOUS SEAS By Jim Shepard I tend to flip from OK insomnia to bad insomnia depending on how things in my life are going, and this story came out of a stretch of insomnia as bad as I've had in a while. I'd been struggling with another story for some months by that point, and woke up one ...READ MORE
NIGHT SHIFT By Jesse Armstrong Before the low-cost German supermarkets Aldi and Lidl came over in the late 1990s, the UK had its own homegrown "subprime" supermarket chain, Kwik Save. It grew up in North Wales near where I grew up and it pioneered the margin-boosting tactics of deliberate u...READ MORE
VOICE OF AMERICA By E.C. Osondu While growing up in Lagos, Nigeria, my father converted to an American brand of Christianity that has its roots somewhere in rural Pennsylvania. A fallout of his new faith was that-unlike in other homes in Nigeria where allegiance was to the former colonial ma...READ MORE
MY MASSIVE FEELINGS (FRAGMENTS FROM THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL) By Laurie Weeks Like everything else I write, this piece started out as a one-page fragment consigned for several years to the drawer of Shame and Self-Loathing. When I was living in San Diego a couple of years ago, teaching and learning to surf, I pulled it out and finished ...READ MORE
THE ARM By Ludmila Petrushevskaya During the war, a colonel received a letter from his wife. She missed him very much, it said, and would he please come visit because she's worried she will die without having seen him. The colonel immediately applied for leave, and as it happened that just a f...READ MORE
A MOTHER'S FAREWELL By Ludmila Petrushevskaya A young man named Oleg was left an orphan when his mother died. All he had left was his older sister, for though his father was still alive, he turned out not to be Oleg's real father. Oleg's real father, as he learned when he started going through his mother'...READ MORE
INCIDENT AT SOKOLNIKI By Ludmila Petrushevskaya The "Songs of the Eastern Slavs" cycle was supposed to be a literary hoax. In the early 19th century, Mérimée put out an entire book called Songs of the Western Slavs, which the whole world (including Pushkin, who translated it) took to be a straight ...READ MORE
ABSINTHE By William T. Vollmann This story is based on several drinking sessions that I had the joyous privilege of experiencing in Petersburg a couple of years ago as a guest of a writers' workshop. I will never forget the effects of absinthe and hope that I have a chance to sample this div...READ MORE
GROWING CHINESE GREENS By Yoko Ogawa "Growing Chinese Greens" grew out of an actual experience: I discovered a note with those words written on my calendar, but I couldn't remember what they meant or how they came to be there. I simply wanted to describe the way the uncanny can slip into our live...READ MORE
MEDICINE By Ottessa Moshfegh This is a story that started off as a confessional letter. I lived in China during my early 20s and until now haven't wanted to write anything about it. "Medicine" appears here as an excerpt from a novel-in-progress about those years...READ MORE
ART OF THE QUERY By Earl Wang Marshall:
Earl here. Got your letter of rejection, no hard feelings, friend. Thanks to your speedy response and uncommon alacrity, my idea is now free to be pitched to other...READ MORE
SHEPPARD'S VIDEO-GAME PIE By Stephen Lea Sheppard NBA2K8
Whether as a function of human nature or a product of being raised in a capitalist society, people like to own the newest, biggest, shiniest things. For most, owning an inferior...READ MORE
