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DOS & DON'TS

Bow-ties are almost impossible to pull off without looking like a groom at a Las Vegas wedding or a magician who works children’s parties, but these two faggoty little smart Alecs have nailed it so hard they’re making me wonder what their warm little cocks would feel like in my hand. Comments/Enlarge | See all


She’s aiming at “grunge goes to college” but it’s coming off more like the cover artwork of a porno VHS where schoolgirls have to drink the jizz of hairy Germans out of a martini glass. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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VICE PRESENTS THE PEOPLE'S LISTS - PART 3


Excerpted from The New Book of Lists by David Wallechinsky and Amy Wallace.
ILLUSTRATIONS BY LAURA PARK

The Cat Came Back:
15 Cats Who Traveled Long Distances to Return Home



CHICHI—300 miles

The Reverend J. C. Cox of Blanchard, Louisiana, gave his 17-year-old cat to his granddaughter, who lived in a suburb of New Orleans. Chichi missed Reverend Cox and, to everyone’s astonishment, crossed the Mississippi and Red rivers in three weeks and arrived home in time for Christmas.


RUSTY—950 miles

Rusty distinguished himself by setting an American all-time speed record for a cat to return. In 1949, this ginger tom traveled from Boston to Chicago in 83 days. It is speculated that he hitched rides on cars, trucks, and trains.


POOH—200 miles

The Reverend and Mrs. James Daves moved from Long Island to Georgia in 1973. Because their daughter was allergic to animal fur, they gave her two-year-old white tom, Pooh, to a friend, but he soon ran away. In May, the family moved to South Carolina. On April 18, 1975, Pooh showed up at the home he had never been to before.


BORIS—8 miles

Boris trekked back twice in 1990 to his old home in Berkshire, England—a short trip but one that involved crossing two superhighways, the M4 and the A34.


MUDDY WATER WHITE—450 miles

On June 23 or 24, 1985, Muddy Water White jumped out of a van driven by his owner, Barbara Paule, in Dayton, Ohio. Almost exactly three years later, he returned to his home in Pennsylvania. “He came and just flopped down like he was home,” said Mrs. Paule. She fed him for three days before realizing who he was. His identification was later confirmed by the local vet.


THE PEOPLE'S LISTS | 1 | 2 | 3 |


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Comments

Anonymous, on Dec 17, 2008 wrote:
oh kitties are the best

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