DICK FACE - PART 3Why Is Jack Walls the Coolest Motherfucker on Earth?
JACK WALLS: A GLOSSARY
Balloons by Ryan McGinley
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“The Only Thing Between Us Is Air and Opportunity”
That means ain’t nothing stopping us. It means all systems are GO. Like somebody comes up to me and says, “Hey, Jack, we should hang out sometime,” and I say, “Yeah, that’s cool, ’cause ain’t nothing between us but air and opportunity.” It’s like, yeah, right on. |
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“Trade Alarm”
That’s when you look at someone and you just know they have a huge cock. Instinctively, bells go off. That’s also what you call a “dick face.” When you see somebody and you go, “Oh, they got a big one.” |
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“Don’t Make Me Put My Baby Down”
That’s a ghetto thing. By the time girls are 15 years old they got babies, so they’re walking around the hood with a baby on their hip and they’re getting into fights and that’s the ultimate threat: “Don’t make me put my baby down!” |
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“Clock the Basket”
Again, look at the basket. There’s a lot of basket sayings. And packages. Every day is like Christmas for me, darling! |
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“Features Balls”
That’s when you look at somebody’s basket and you can tell it’s mostly balls. |
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“Ghetto Deluxe”
That’s when you go to someone’s dinner party and you just know all the food on the table is gotten with food stamps. Like, a cheese truck used to roll up in the hood and people would run out to it and they would give you these big pieces of government cheese. Every party you went to had grilled-cheese platters and speakers turned outside the window but locked safe inside the house. That’s ghetto deluxe! |
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“Even People in Hell Need Ice Water”
No, no, you got it phrased wrong. It’s like when people go, “Hey, Jack, I want this, I want that,” and you just tell them, “Yeah, people in hell want ice water”—you ain’t getting it! |
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“Stinkyfoot Junkie”
Most junkies have notoriously stinky feet because they’re always walking around looking for dope. Especially back in the day, the drug spots were always moving. You had to do a lot of walking around for heroin if the main spot was closed. That hallway on 2nd Street between Avenues A and B, that was the spot. New York was paradise for a junkie back then. |
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“Motherfucker I Will Slap the Shit Out of You Right Now”
Because sometimes you have to represent. Because before I slap the shit out of a person I’m gonna let them know that that’s what I’m about to do. I don’t like to get physical but I can. |
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“No Bitches Just Niggas”
All cats, no hos. |
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“Basket Picnic”
Hahaha, that means you see somebody with a big package—it’s a basket picnic! You get it, don’t you? Listen, I’m drunk half the time. These things I say, I don’t even know I say. I can’t think about it, I just talk. |
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“Potential Dick Flow”
That’s like, what are the chances you’re gonna get laid or not. You dig? |
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“What Did My Pussy Ever Do to You?”
That’s from a Bobby Garcia porno. A marine is fucking him and the guy is screaming, “Oh my pussy, you’re destroying my pussy! What did my pussy ever do to you, you treat it so bad!” |
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“Sacrifice the Relationship”
Say you know a cat, and you’re good friends, and it gets to the point where you go, he’s my friend, but I think he’s hot, now do I wanna make this thing sexual and end the friendship if he’s not a fag? Are you gonna sacrifice the relationship because you’re a horny fag or are you gonna respect this individual? |
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“Smile Now Cry Later”
That’s an old song by Sunny and the Sunliners. We call them gangbanging songs because that’s what we listened to when we were teenagers and in gangs. I stopped listening to all that old music until I told Ryan about it and he became obsessed with the whole genre and went and found each and every song. That’s one thing I love about him. I’ll just mention the stupidest thing in passing and suddenly a week later he’ll know everything about it.
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TO BE CONTINUED:
DICK FACE | 1 | 2 | 3 |
See all articles by this contributor Anonymous, on Sep 17, 2009 wrote:
Can Ryan McGinley do anything other than talk about himself? It’s always, "We were so wild back then, we did so much coke, it was all just so sad and dramtic and meaningful ..." People who talk about their lives this way are idealizing them. | | Anonymous, on Feb 3, 2009 wrote:
I’ve been hearing about this dude for years!! haha | | |
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