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| Photo by Marc Margolis | | FEARS OF A CLOWNWhat to do when you get "the Fear"
 You know Wavy Gravy: Before he was an ice-cream flavor, the ultimate 60s icon founded America’s longest-running hippie commune, pulled all kinds of wacky political pranks like trying to elect a pig for president, and was the Grateful Dead’s “official clown.” He also MCed the original Woodstock Festival and manned the freak-out tent there. Considering that he talked down so many bad trippers at arguably the worst trip of all time, we figured he’d have some good advice on what to do when you get “the Fear” (we were also hoping he’d use a bunch of cornball drug terms like “trip sitting” and “bogart,” but he kept those to a minimum).
Vice: So, Wavy, what do you do when someone’s really freaking out?
Wavy Gravy: I get calls all the time saying, “I’m so high, what should I do, what should I do?” And I say, “OK, do this: Go out and get some root beer and some ice cream, make a root-beer float, and drink it. If that doesn’t work, call me back.” I never get called back. The sheer effort of going to the store and copping the root beer and the vanilla ice cream seems to send them right to Straightland.
Ha ha ha, “copping the root beer.” But seriously, that’s your secret move? Ice cream?
Yep. It gives them a task. And by the time they complete the task, they’re fine.
Was that what you prescribed to all the brown acid casualties at Woodstock?
I remember when the first guy came in, ranting. There was nobody there but some doctors in white coats and me, wearing this cowboy hat with a pig coming out the front, from where this other guy that was tripping had bit a hole in it. The guy in the tent is going, “Miami Beach, Joyce, 1944!” so this 200-pound Australian doctor lays down on top of him and says, “Body contact.” So the guy’s being squished and this other white-coat is yelling at him, “Just open your third eye!” but he’s still screaming “Joyce! Joyce! Miami Beach!” I figure it’s time for me to make my move, so I ask the guy, “Hey, what’s your name, man?” And he yells, “Joyce!” “No, what’s your name?” He says, “Bob.” I say, “Guess what? Your name is Bob.” And I could tell that he liked that, so I told him several times. You could see the lost bottles float out of his eyes. So then I tell him, “Bob, you’ve taken a little acid and it’s gonna wear off,” because that’s what he needed to hear.
What about you, Wavy Gravy—what do you do when you freak out yourself?
I think I stopped being afraid on a mescaline trip on the Coney Island roller coaster. I got something like a hundred tickets and after the first half hour, my whole life changed. I was afraid they’d nab me for having too much fun sitting in the front car and knitting. It’s a question of biting through. And, to paraphrase St. Francis of Assisi, “Every time you kiss a leper on the mouth he turns into Jesus Christ.” That’s Nikos Kazantzakis speaking for St. Francis.
Ah, right. Any last loopy aphorisms?
Remember: Thinking gets in the way of thought.
Fantastic.
CHARLES BEAN
See all articles by this contributor Anonymous, on Nov 10, 2009 wrote:
hope she takes it up the arse | | Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
How can so many people be so apathetic? | | Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
the fucking twat who wrote "does she swollow" you are a fucking sad cunt and i hope you aint got kids.....god only knows what you do to them if you have!!!! | | Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
Does she swallow? | | Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
I wish that was me. :[ | | Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
"There is no law enforcement in Indonesia" Yeeeeeah no. | | Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
You dirty, dirty monkey! | | Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
orangutans are sexy | | Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
i’d tap that | | Anonymous, on Nov 6, 2009 wrote:
CAN I HAVE A GO? | | Anonymous, on Oct 19, 2009 wrote:
You All Must Be From America. Brainless And Dirt. Try To Stop Smoking That Shit And Get A Life. | | Anonymous, on Oct 6, 2009 wrote:
i think some of the comments are missing the point..... going on about god and evil asians.... and its just a monkey..... fucking idiots.... i have kicked the fuck out of redneck fucks like you on a few occasions... and the way i see it you are gonna get it someday soon.. and when you do think about what i write.... people treat animals and humans like shit... and doing this to an animal is wrong and you know it.... and you will realise it when someone like me is stamping on your fucking heads you redneck cunts!!!!! ha ha... im sick in the head too... but not for monkeys... for nazi red necks.... see you soon... on a street corner near you... wankers | | Anonymous, on Sep 30, 2009 wrote:
Hey you asshole who wants to have sex with the orangutan! Go FUCK yourself. You deserve to have the fucking hell beat out of you every day and go to HELL! | | Anonymous, on Sep 17, 2009 wrote:
No it’s not. Shut up you damn hippie. | | Anonymous, on Sep 16, 2009 wrote:
some people in this board think it is funny. Wait till happens to you if you think it is funny. Cruelty against animals is same as cruelt gainst humans. | | Anonymous, on Sep 7, 2009 wrote:
Hey Anonymous: FUCK YOU. Yeah YOU. | | Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
If I paid more, can i choose the vag and the anus? or is it only vag?
Boy I would love a piece of that ass. imagine in doggy with her yelping. oh now that’d be nice | |
| Aemon, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
ha! conclusive proof that people are funny
an animal is an animal, this sort of thing is forced on real people, id say thats a tad worse. | | Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
Michelle Obama was created in just this way. | | Anonymous, on May 24, 2009 wrote:
there is no law enforcement in indonesia???
| | Anonymous, on May 23, 2009 wrote:
So predictable that a religious person was going to take the "THERE IS NO GOD" line in the article seriously. Develop a sense of humor or GTFO. | | Anonymous, on May 22, 2009 wrote:
This is how Shaquille O’Neil was created. | | Anonymous, on May 20, 2009 wrote:
Any excuse to spread your crap around about GOD,
GOD does exist and your goal is to make sure that people don’t believe in GOD, that’s your aim.
And not all humans are evil, only a bunch of psychos, who don’t give a shit about anything or anyone.
And you probably one of them, you blame others for things that you do, Old tactic, you are exposed!!!, so shut the hell up | | Anonymous, on Apr 27, 2009 wrote:
...wait a minute...
thats no monkey!
thats Michelle Desilets’ mother! | | Anonymous, on Apr 27, 2009 wrote:
HAH!
look at that slutty pose she’s pulling in the inset picture!
thats one hot monkey! | | Anonymous, on Apr 27, 2009 wrote:
"If a man walked near her, she would turn herself around, present herself, and start gyrating and going through the motions."
she fucking loved every minute of it!
...dirty monkey slut! | | Anonymous, on Apr 22, 2009 wrote:
When I wanna bone an orangutan, I want to be able to feel that long, coarse hair rubbing against my belly, just like Nature intended! | | Anonymous, on Apr 9, 2009 wrote:
... some people who are leaving comments on this are just plain messed up.
But seriously, why in the world would someone try to do that.... to an orangutan? It breaks my heart into pieces, to see how disgusting and cruel some people in this world are. | | Anonymous, on Apr 9, 2009 wrote:
THAT. is f*cking twisted and disturbing. Why the hell would someone do that? Those people are MORE than mentally ill... | | Anonymous, on Mar 24, 2009 wrote:
This is one of the most epic articles I have ever seen on the interwebs, I bet the armenians could make even more money if they incorporated orangutans into their sex rings. | | | Next 30 comments > |
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