TIDBITSA Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Fear Issue
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RADIOACTIVE TOYS
Ever since that Chinese guy blew his head off after getting caught painting 18 million toys with toxic paint, all the toy makers over there have decided to avoid any confusion and just put clear warnings on the box that say “Be capale of irradiation.”
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OSAMA BIN LADEN PHONE RADIATION SENSOR STICKER
Thank God nobody from the FDNY has a passport or ever goes anywhere. They would crap their fireproof drawers if they saw the ubiquity of bin Laden’s face accompanied by the word “hero.” In this case it’s a warning sticker from Malaysia that lights up every time your phone gets too strong a signal.
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TOE DUST CRACKLING CANDY
They eat dogs, “Jungle Rat Crackling,” and ice cream with kidney beans in it, and now their candy tastes like toe particles? Why do they hate their tongues’ guts so much?
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GENII
Is it just me or does this magicians’ magazine make you want to kill yourself?
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BILLY BEER
Could Jimmy Carter have been a bigger pussy, please? What a Timmy. To this day all he wants to do is hug people, even ones that would like nothing better than to saw his head off on Al Jazeera. Why couldn’t we have had his brother? The guy IS a fucking beer for chrissakes. |
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OFF THE WALL KEYCHAIN
This is a pretty good before-and-after argument for rhinoplasty. You can either stay as you are, a racist caricature, or become a handsome Mexican boy with wet hair. |
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GAY GUM
Finally, a way to have the taste of cock stay in your mouth all day.
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HOT DOLLAR PERFUME “FOR HER”
Sorry, buddy, but only about 1 percent of the female population is seduced by sexy chicks in bikinis, cigars, and piles of $100 bills. And that 1 percent is called “a dyke.” |
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| THIS MONTH’S WINNER: TOE DUST
To win your free subscription to Vice, send tidbits to:
VICE Magazine, 97 North 10th Street, Suite 204, Brooklyn, NY, USA 11211
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 Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
Hm-m-m, such a nice magazine were all the shit from over the world placed. Keep on | | Anonymous, on Jun 9, 2009 wrote:
golliwog candies!
if packaging in the us was that awesome, we’d have just about everything we need. | | Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
sit on my face | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
Tims makes the *best* Salt & Vinegar chips--and its amazing with Cabernet ;) | | Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Correction asshole: MUSICIANS benefit humanity. The industry benefits nobody but the industry. | | Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Fuck you Vice for promoting music theft and fuck snot-nosed whiny babies with an entitlement complex who cant shell out fucking 0.99 for a song you can play for the rest of your life and don’t care if they’re comlpetely destroying an industry that benefits humanity immeasurably. Cunts. | |
| crimewave, on Feb 8, 2009 wrote:
i recognized those xanax from a thumbnail. fuck. yeah. | | Anonymous, on Feb 5, 2009 wrote:
aw i love this | | Anonymous, on Feb 2, 2009 wrote:
i drove past sambo’s in santa barbara in april 2000 and everyone in the car had exactly the same reaction. the fact that there was a storm coming, so it looked like a ghost town just added to the "did we just drive back to the forties?" feeling. | | Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
nacism? | | Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
Don’t you know SHIT is the shit? | | Anonymous, on Dec 1, 2008 wrote:
POT
"Me and my girl rolled about three joints before watching The Ring and oh my god did we ever get scared. bollocks !!!
smoke 3 joints and walk around glasgow | | Anonymous, on Nov 28, 2008 wrote:
bag hutch | | Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote:
sink ma teef innit
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| Tiago, on Oct 16, 2008 wrote:
The eyedrops are not american | | Anonymous, on Sep 5, 2008 wrote:
That is not a "cheap slingshot" in the rattlesnake egg envelope. Spin the plastic or metal ring that is suspended by the two rubber bands and put it back in the envelope like that.. then, when someone opens the envelope it makes a loud noise (as the rubber bands unravel, spinning the button against the paper)and they yell and then everyone laughs. say duh, you cheap thief. | | Anonymous, on Jul 13, 2008 wrote:
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! | | Anonymous, on Jul 11, 2008 wrote:
Edgy stuff!!!!!!!!!! | | Anonymous, on Jul 3, 2008 wrote:
I’ve been enjoying hot spotted cock for years. | | Anonymous, on Jun 22, 2008 wrote:
BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE haha I saw that at work the other day and the bagger and I couldn’t stop laughing!
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