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VICE MAILMUSHROOM RIGHTS Vice, This feels like a real exploitation to me. I am a person who studies and hunts mushrooms with all my heart. I don’t think it is “cool” to use something of deep interest and delight to some as a backdrop for your fashion people to shoot glamour shots. It is an exploitation of something that you have no real passion or understanding for. Those mushrooms, appearing to be boletes but hard to tell because of the careless photography, are not just props for hot hipsters to tote around. Would you have some gay models show up at a Native American powwow and shoot them behind the elders posing sassily in hot shorts? Maybe you would. That shows a lack of respect for something sacred and wild. It isn’t always about tapered pastel jeans. CHLOE BEEMAN Via viceland.com So let me get this straight. To you, being a mushroom enthusiast is equivalent to being Native American? We exploited the poor, defenseless mushrooms for our callous, cold purposes? Mushrooms have rights? We had no idea. God, now I feel really bad. A MASON-DIXON LINE OF THE MIND Dear Vice, The online comments about “We Got Out” ended up turning into a North vs. South debate. About the US! Not even about Korea. How the hell did that happen? One guy even said he wished terrorists would nuke the South. Since you guys cover just about any retarded subject you can think of, I’d like to see a Vice take on Dixieland vs. Yankeeland (unless you guys have already done this). And if you do, please don’t make the entire focus of it race relations because then it will be a tie. Don’t deny it. ROBERT FARMER Via email Well, we already did an Appalachia Issue. The Cops Issue and the Down & Out Issue kind of encompassed our feelings on any Northeast or Rust Belt city. That’s as close as you’ll get for now, since the New England Issue and the Georgia Issue aren’t on the slate for any time in the next few decades. DELAYED REACTION Hi, My name is Emily. I’m looking for an article I heard about recently. It’s the one about this guy (whose name is apparently Ray) who makes fried chicken and serves it out of his house while his wife serves beer out of a keg. Is there some way I can get a copy of this article? Or maybe information on this chicken dude? Thanks so much. EMILY VAN ECK Via email Emily, that was in the issue we did two years ago that was comprised entirely of made-up bullshit. Not only are you gullible, you are also over 24 months late. DEPT. OF BORING BROKEN RECORDS Dear Vice, Two things: I recently noticed something peculiar in your magazine—an advertisement for something called “DontPanic.com” that alluded to something called “flaccid mind.” It featured pictures and quotes praising whatever was being promoted, like Giovanni Ribisi and Juliette Lewis. As most of us may or may not know, they are both big Scientologists. I went to the website, which seemed to be a webzine of sorts for artists, and it was all very vague. Scientologists do tend to use fronts for their organization like FLAG, the Cult Awareness Network (ha!), and Narconon. I guess what I’m asking is, are you guys promoting Scientology? And if so, say it ain’t so. Secondly, how could you guys jump on the bandwagon of magazines giving Against Me! a literal blowjay over their most mediocre album thus far, which also happens to represent one of the most bogus showings of hypocrisy pulled by any band since Chumbawamba. Tom Gabel, who has a Crass tattoo apparently, is not the punk-rock Bruce Springsteen. Listen to the new album followed by Reinventing, Acoustic, Eternal Cowboy, and any live show. You will see the magic has clearly left them. Also, in case you hadn’t heard, Tom recently ripped an article about his band off the wall of a Florida coffee shop and when confronted by one of the baristas, slammed the guy’s head into the counter. While Sid Vicious may think that’s punk, Penny Rimbaud wouldn’t, and given the circumstances, neither do I. Keep your ears to the ground, guys, you’re starting to slack a bit. JON REISS Brooklyn, NY 1) You got us. Vice is backed by Scientologists. Guilty as charged. 2) If you want to moan about how Against Me! used to be better, the line starts over there under the sign that says “Stupid Idiots Who Care Way Too Much About Music but Still Don’t Know What They Are Talking About Anyway, Even Though It’s All They Talk About.” 3) We firmly congratulate Tom for hurting that person in Florida. 4) We are friends with Penny and like to think that he would, in fact, have done exactly the same thing in the same situation. THE RISING AMERO I was wondering if you all have the courage to report on the plans for the North American Union (resembling the European Union, African Union, etc.) and the soon-to-be-in-effect amero (to replace the dollar), as well as the already-reported Real ID Act, RFID chips (mandatory), and VeriChip’s infant ID (mandatory). Lou Dobbs reported a little on this, to my shock... You guys reach an audience of my generation, so I’m asking you to look into it if you’re not already. HY_PA_TIA Via email We support all of this, simply because we think the word “amero” is cute. FISK: GOD? Hey Vice, Robert Fisk is about as much a journalistic god as I am Ron Arad. Fisk wears his opinion on his sleeve, which is worse than Lou Gehrig’s disease in journalism. The man’s proclivities are most apparent when he talks about Sabra and Shatila without even mentioning the Phalangist militia that actually perpetrated the atrocity. Enough blaming Israel for something they didn’t actually do. How about mentioning Hama? It’s a town where over 10,000 Syrians were butchered by their government. You just haven’t heard about it because mongoloids like Fisk keep regurgitating the same shit again and again. JASON SCHLESINGER Via email COLOR US INTRIGUED Dear Vice, Do you ever publish guest stories? If so, can I send one to be considered? It is about a newly single girl’s sh***y one-night stand. Thanx, KATE M. Via email Not only do we have no idea what a guest story is, but we would also like nothing more than to hear your take on how tough it is out there for the single lady in today’s crazy world. Mail it to: Vice magazine, 101 Mystery Lane, the Moon. We’ll be waiting.
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