Covers by Jim Krewson, David Choe, Milano Chow, and Johnny Ryan. We made four scary
mask covers this month and if you don't collect them all, you don't really love Halloween.
 VICE MAIL
Beam Up, Kimmy!, Pigs Are People Too, Opium, Schmopium, Dept. of Boring Broken Records, Mushroom Rights, A Mason-Dixon Line of the Mind, Delayed Reaction, the Rising Amero, Fisk: God?, Color Us Intrigued...
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  GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES ARE EVIL TROLLS WHO LIVE ABOVE BRIDGES, UNDER THE SUN
They scare the shining, singing shit out of me.They're out there, but not in the darkness. Their lairs are well lit, under the rude, barging glare of fluorescent tube lights. Their skin is pasty gray, almost the same color as their cubicle walls. They've conditioned their bodies to run efficiently on starches, salts, corn syrup, and coffee that ...
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 BLOODY, HAIRY, AND HOT
No More Sexy Cat Costumes for GirlsYou can't just slap on some cat ears, eyeliner whiskers, slutty spandex, and call it Halloween. That shit's for pussies (har har). You wanna be like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls when she shows up as a green-faced, snaggle-toothed witch at the costume party and every other girl there is dressed like a...
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 CONCLUSIVE PROOF
That There Is No God and Humans Are Essentially EvilMeet Pony. She is an orangutan from a small village in Borneo, where they cut down the rain forest to render the palm oil that gets sold abroad and made into lip salve, ice cream, chocolates, and cheese crackers.
Vice: So tell us about Pony.
Michelle Desilets [Director of the Borneo Ora...
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 VICE STREET POLL
What Is Your Greatest Fear?Zander: Sharks. You don't see it coming. It's so dark and the shark has all the power. The shark has all the cards. You are powerless in the ocean.
Kourosh: Monotony. Being the same and doing the same thing every day–I thrive on learning and experiences, and I think that monotony ...
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 A NIGHTMARE ON ME STREET
Six Hypnagogic Hallucinations and One Guy Who Peed on His GranI suffer from sleep terrors. It's a more physical version of nightmares where you act out what you are dreaming. Apparently it's caused by anxiety. There have been cases of people committing stabbings and murders in their sleep. It gets pretty extreme. Personally I have always suffered from horrible...
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 SKINEMA
Have you ever felt real disappointment in your life?Have you ever felt real disappointment in your life? Something so tragic that you thought, “I will never be able to recover from this?” I have. Twice now. Both at the hands of my wife....
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 IT HAPPENED:
John Mark Karr Was My FriendI met John Mark Karr one summer in Paris when I was 18. I had a grant from school to write short stories set in France. Never did it, of course, but who cares! I was too busy making friends with a self-professed killer/alleged pedophile and letting him stroke my hair and call me creepy pet names wit...
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 HAMAS VS. FATAH
Pick a side!PHOTOS BY AMEED INTERVIEWED BY ALAA FALAH
Young Palestinians basically have two choices: Die for Fatah or die for Hamas. It's kind of like the extreme political bipolarity in America, except instead of incessant bitching from armchairs, everyone has AK-47s, hates Israel, and might kidnap ...
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 SHREDDED BY WAR
British Soldiers Are Coming Home in PiecesAndy Julien was 18 years old and had been serving in Iraq for two months with the Queen’s Royal Lancers when his Challenger tank came under fire south of Basra. Andy and Lance Corporal Daniel Twiddy had been asleep on top of the tank when they were attacked. An eyewitness later told a Ministry...
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 SHEPPARD'S VIDEO-GAME PIE
The Godfather, Stranglehold, Need for Speed: CarbonThis is our new video-game reviews column written by Stephen Lea Sheppard, the actor behind two of our favorite characters of all time. First he was Harris Trinsky, the wise-beyond-his-years, flowing-haired Dungeon Master in Freaks & Geeks, then Dudley Heisenberg, that weird kid Bill Mu...
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 TIDBITS
A monthly look at things we love - v14n10RADIOACTIVE TOYS
Ever since that Chinese guy blew his head off after getting caught painting 18 million toys with toxic paint, all the toy makers over there have decided to avoid any confusion and just put clear warnings on the box that say "Be capale of irradiation."...
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 VICE PRESENTS THE PEOPLE'S LISTS
15 Strange StoriesExcerpted from The New Book of Lists by David Wallechinsky and Amy Wallace.
The Fortean Times: The World of Strange Phenomena is a monthly magazine of news, reviews, and research on all types of unusual experiences. It is named after philosopher Charles Fort (1874-1932),...
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 WAR RESISTANT
The stories of five members of the American military who have chosen to seek asylum in Canada rather than continuing to fight the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.As soon as I started high school, in a small town in Florida called Live Oak, I signed up for the ROTC. I had a pretty big misconception of what the military was really like. Those John Wayne movies and the history books made it look like there was all this camaraderie and everything they did was ri...
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 DREAM CATCHER EARRINGS
Pocahaunted Get Allergies in the WoodsPocahaunted make creepy music that eats away at your ears like a plague-ridden tapeworm. It's all low-level drones and voices from beyond the pale that clunk along in a shambolic, rootsified manner that Devendra and his band of catamite followers could only dream of. They sound like some lost field ...
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 VICE FASHION - RAELIAN GIRLS
Embassy for our Alien ForefathersOn December 13, 1973, French journalist, singer, songwriter, and race-car driver Rael was on his way to work. He saw a strong flashing light in the sky. A shiny metal object appeared and floated down. The trapdoor slowly opened, and an alien being greeted Rael and asked him to enter the craft. Rael ...
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 VICE PICTURES
Black Antibellum Car Shows by Harmony KorineThese pictures are from an upcoming book that will come out later in the year. A lot of the people in these pictures are from a local gang in East Nashville that consists mainly of thugs who are obsessed with the movie "Chucky." They ride around in Caprice whips with Chucky dolls rolled up in their ...
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 WHERE DID OUR WAR GO?
A Vet Vets Hollywood's Take on NamPatrick McAleveay enlisted in the US Army in August 1966, when he was 18. He served until August 1969. His unit (part of the Army’s 9th Division) took part in the fighting in and around Saigon during the Tet Offensive of 1968. He was wounded on Valentine’s Day 1968 during a battle with a...
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 RECORDS
Music Reviews - v14n10Cass Mccombs, Holy Fuckm, Scout Niblett, Black Dice, Jens Lekman, Kanye West, 50 Cent, Three 6 Mafia, Chamillionaire, Einsturzende Neubauten, Deadling, Time To Escape, Government Warning, Abe Vigoda, Clockcleaner, Devendra Banhart, White Rainbow, Sunburned Hand Of Man, Yellow Swans......
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 HAPPY FLOWERS
Make Fear DisappearSo often, people go on about how crap and terrible our society has become that it's a welcome relief to suddenly find something nice to cheer you up.
I was out driving today when I noticed some flowers attached to the railings by a lamp-post. As I drove on, I noticed nearly every junction...
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 HORROR SHOW
Surviving Serious Burns With Ipso FactoSouthend-On-Sea is a portal to another topsy-turvy dimension where all the kids are these hipper-than-hip, ice cool gothic indie babes, with immaculate style, impeccable taste in music, and intimidatingly refined cultural know-how. It’s said that each new born baby is issued with a Nuggets...
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 AGENT ORANGE'S KIDS
The War Photography of Philip Jones GriffithsPhilip Jones Griffiths is a Welsh photographer whose book Vietnam Inc. was published in 1971. We think it’s the best book there is about the Vietnam War. Recently, Griffiths released another book about Vietnam, titled Agent Orange: “Collateral Damage” in Viet Nam....
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 DRENCHED IN ACID
Holy Fuck Come Second in Fucking ContestsHoly Fuck is made up of lots of different people but most of the work is done by a couple called Brian Borcherdt and Graham Walsh. They never practice, hardly ever shave and wear hoodies that smell of wet dogs.
Three years ago, they formed out of the Dependent Music co-operative which has produ...
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 VIDEO GAMES KILLED THE RADIO STAR
Project Gotham Racing 4, SEGA Rally, Madden 08, Bioshock, Command & Conquer 3MADDEN 08
This is, not kidding, the 18th installment in the Madden video-game franchise. Doesn’t that make you kind of disgusted? The only thing that’s more disgusting than that fact is the sight of John Madden’s face. He looks like an ancient pagan religion’s ide...
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 UPSET EVERY SECOND
Durrty Goodz is Fresh Out of JailThere is only one MC who has ever beaten Wiley in a clash and that is Waltham Forest’s Durrty Goodz. Three or so years ago when the hunt was on to find out if the success of Dizzee Rascal wasn’t just a fluke, he looked like the most likely candidate to hop on the major label love-’...
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 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
Heartbreak, Nicolas Courtin, Ciel Sonore, Asteroides, Les Yeux Fermes, Gatto Fritto
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 BORING PUNKS FUCK OFF
Brutal Knights Bring Cheesecake to the ShowPunk gigs have got kind of depressing. You either end up at overly serious beatdown shows where goons in flat caps try and clothes-line you before you get in the door or no one turns up at all and the only people that do are there to get tour-only split seven inches in eight different colours. Bruta...
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 STICK 'N' BURN
A Guide to D.I.Y Branding at HomeNow that we're confident you all have homemade tattooing down, we thought we'd take the next logical step and explore the fine art of home branding. Essentially this involves using a scalding hot implement – in this case a soldering iron – to burn a pattern or picture into the skin of a willing pers...
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 EXTREME MAGIC
Michael Yonkers Isn't GrimMichael Yonkers makes some of the greatest music you will ever hear. Seriously, the guy’s a genius. Since he started playing guitar in 1962, he’s consistently been making some of the strangest and most amazing rock n roll, noise and experimental music ever put to tape. And we’re lu...
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 SOUND AND VISION
KTL Take It To The StageKTL isn't the sort of music you play to children. It's music for nightmares. The German phrase it abbreviates–Kindertotenlieder–translates as 'songs of the death of children', so you see where this thing could lead. As an exploration of the space between light and dark, it's highly atmospheric and m...
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 IN THE LAND OF THE JUGGALOS
A Juggalo Is King"What is a Juggalo? A dead body / Well he ain't really dead, but he ain't like anybody that you've ever met before / He'll eat Monopoly and shit out Connect Four." –ICP, "What is a Juggalo?"
With the possible exception of the Jews, no other group has eaten as big an amount of shi...
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 DOOMSDAY METAL
Vinterkrig come back from the dead10 years ago the band Vinterkrig, consisting of five 15-18-year-olds from Stockholm and one girl from Berlin, recorded five tracks in a legendary studio, played one last live show and then broke up forever. The songs were never released, and the members went on to, variously, join Opeth, start their...
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