WORKING GIRL - PART 2Selling Yourself by the Ounce
 
There’s not much I can say in defense of human toilets, as I will never understand how anyone could get a boner over eating prepackaged shit. Regardless, the moment I discovered there were men out there this sexually deranged and (most likely) emotionally damaged, I was kicking myself for just flushing all that poop down the actual toilet. Never again!
Ceara,
I am plenty knowledgeable about all aspects of FEmale products and consider myself a true connoisseur. It is no lie or exaggeration when I say I’ve consumed in excess of two tons of FEmale excrement over the past 42 years. If I included non-excrement stuff, it would be nearer to four tons. YOU can see that this is no passing fancy for me. I live to be a toilet for GIRLs. Life would truly be pointless if I were cut off. In the past 42 years I’ve invested over $150,000 in my shit-eating pursuits. Naturally that’s money well spent, but as my life runs out, I want my final days to be a big and glorious event. From YOUR point of view, I’m just a decrepit and gross old shit eater, and my only worth is: I’m someone to shag as many bucks from as YOU can, but in my mind, I’ve paid my dues and put in my time, and as grand as it all was, I want only the best from now on. When I’m sitting around in my rocker on the porch of some old folks home, I want to remember the faces of GIRLs like YOU and let my imagination fill in the odors and taste YOU were willing to share with me. I want and need memories like that to sustain me in those final days. BTW, I also like sucking on and eating used menstrual products, eating drain hair, finger and toenails, belly button lint, boogers, used band aids, hacked up stuff, snot from when YOU’re sick, or anything else YOUR perfect FEmale body can produce. Maybe we can do other transactions in addition to these pee/poo packages. Bye for now.
YOUR toilet, turdboy (aka kopkop)
PS: YOU said my email almost made YOU vomit. I’m sorry about that, but if YOU do vomit, please try to do it into the container of poo. I will pay extra for it. Thanks.
In conclusion, I’m pretty thankful for discovering how much money and free entertainment can be made from the excessively masochistic and socially inept. I’ve found it to be an amazing way of relieving stress and improving self-esteem. I would recommend it to all girls, except that might mean less money for me. So ladies, keep working that stripper pole. Thanks.
TIERNEY CEARA
THE NITTY GRITTY
So I imagine by now you’re filled with furious anger at yourself for peeing and wearing panties all these years for free. Well I don’t blame you. That’s why I’ve compiled this simple how-to guide to selling things you’d otherwise wash, flush, or throw away. Firstly and most importantly, buy a digital camera. No perverted loser is going to buy anything from someone based simply on what they claim it to be. They want to see pictures. GIRL pictures. If that makes you nervous you can always hide your face, as many sellers do. Don’t feel like you have to get all naked either. In the past two and a half years I’ve been selling, not a single dude who’s bought from me has seen so much as a nipple. I don’t find them worthy. If you want to though, well, then more power to you… whore. But as long as the pictures are in focus and sexy the perverts will come flocking.
Most panty sniffers like their panties to be as full as possible of smelly, white girl goo. If you can make yourself cum hard, great. Stuff your panties in your vag like a turkey and have at it. Or you can just wear them for a couple days and let nature’s discharge take its course. A lot of times I get requests for scat or pee panties too. So don’t freak out if Aunt Flo visits all over the lacy pink thong that just sold for $100. Explain the situation to the pervert. These guys are submissive and understanding. Worst-case scenario is he’ll agree to wait an extra week and a half so you can wash and rewear them. Best-case scenario is he’ll beg you to send them as is and pay extra for your tampons.
Luckily, feet don’t have cycles. Socks and shoes are much easier to prepare. A few workouts at the gym in the same unwashed footwear yields erotic-smell heaven for perverts. This would be a good time to mention that a vacuum sealer is another must-have item for any seller to preserve maximum, uh, “freshness” when packaging.
Extreme fetish items are the most difficult to package. Toilet treats like piss and shit have to be sealed in airtight containers and quite often the poor pathetic soul who’s buying it requests it to be shipped priority mail so they can consume it as soon as possible after it comes out of the tap. Saliva hardens after a day or so, rendering it useless to jack off with (this is the closest some degenerates get to receiving a blowjob). But if you seal it in a container that screws shut it can last twice as long. Tampons have the shortest shelf life out of anything. After just a few hours, menstrual goods will begin to brown and smell like yeast-infected vagina puking up decomposing baby. But hey, no worries, some guys are in to that.
Lastly, never forget to include a letter with every package, thanking or degrading the creep (whichever is most appropriate) for buying your trash. This simple business ethic gives perverts a sense of worth and meaning to their panty-smelling, shit-eating lives and helps insure future sales. Once you begin to collect regular customers you will be pretty much unstoppable. |
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Here’s the photo I used.
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My ex-boyfriend’s mom bought me this red thong for Christmas a while back and it really creeped me out. I sold it to some degenerate for $64 so he could cover it in his ball snot. Now it’s not so weird.
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Glittery spandex thong sold for $92 to a nut who simply adores the smell of butthole and dirty feet and indulges in his fetish via wrapping used socks and panties around his face with a head strap. He calls me his “Pookie-Licious Snuggle-Bunny.”
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You probably think your grandma has the best recipe for jam in the world, but I bet she can’t sell a four-ounce jar of it for $30.
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Hot-pink see-through fullbacks sold for $59. Nice and easy.
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The profits just pour out of me, basically.
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WORKING GIRL | 1 | 2 |
See all articles by this contributor Anonymous, on Nov 15, 2009 wrote:
Ceara rocks | | Anonymous, on Nov 3, 2009 wrote:
Where do you sell these? | | Anonymous, on Oct 29, 2009 wrote:
What gets me about this whole financial domination business, is that i cannot believe that these women are actually making so much money off of it.
They actually came up with a very good idea of making money, and they scored.
PS- Thank god for this new fetish, because i have found, that nothing pleases me more than kneeling before a beautiful woman and giving her my money...it’s the biggest turn on for me.
Yes it is true, these women really are pimping men out of their money. | | Anonymous, on Oct 25, 2009 wrote:
i hope as many girls as possible see this
i am a submissive male and i wish all the women in my life would take advantage of me like this, if you are a girl reading this - you have more power than you think, men are very easy to tease and manipulate | | Anonymous, on Oct 20, 2009 wrote:
Darling, you are an inspiration. There’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of people who are begging to be taken advantage of. I’m seriously considering taking your advice. | | Anonymous, on Sep 22, 2009 wrote:
You’re my new Hero :) | | Anonymous, on Sep 4, 2009 wrote:
Using paypal to do anything "adult" related violates the terms of service and you can be banned or even federally investigated! Be careful! | | Anonymous, on Aug 27, 2009 wrote:
I laugh at how she considers herself better than her filthy clients. Scum. | | Anonymous, on Dec 26, 2008 wrote:
<h1> .!?... Thanks!!! </h1> | | Anonymous, on Dec 16, 2008 wrote:
Alright, to start off, people on here should shut the fuck up. Yes, it’s nasty, and we profit from it. deal with it. people use their skill sets to get ahead, and panty wearers, especially hot ones, should be able to make some cash. I’m a fellow panty seller (ebanned id- devyndean, livejournal- PrincessDevyn,myspace.com/devyndean) and Ceara is real, so just bury that shit. She’s no a man, she’s a Domme who profits, just as I do. It’s not for anyone of you stupid fucks to judge. Kyra, you suck cock and suck at auctions. If you truly have to bring Ceara down to get more page views or self esteem, go ahead- it’s not denting her in the slightest. My family isn’t fucked up and I don’t have issues, I just know this is a way to make some money and I wear panties anyway. So shut the fuck up. | | Anonymous, on Jul 31, 2008 wrote:
Your article rocks. | | Anonymous, on Jul 11, 2008 wrote:
I want to buy your shit princess | | |
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