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DOS & DON'TS
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WORKING GIRL - PART 1Selling Yourself by the Ounce ll around the world and since the dawn of time, pretty young girls have made money off the horny minds of older men. This usually involves stripping, walking the streets, or taking it up the ass on video. While all three of those things are fabulous I’m sure, most of the girls who do them hate their job, their dads, and themselves. Luckily for me I am pretty much a genius and have discovered a way to extract money from degenerate perverts with minimal degradation on my part. I don’t even have to meet them, much less touch them.You see, at the tender age of 17 I was randomly messaged online by a lonely pee drinker who had taken quite a liking to me after seeing my picture on facethejury.com. He would annoy me every day with questions about what kind of pantyhose I wear, how often I wear them, have I ever peed on a guy, would I please, please meet him and make him my human toilet, and so on. I made no effort to be nice to him in the least but that only made him want to talk to me more. One day he told me my piss was sacred and that it should be bottled and sold to desperate piss consumers such as himself. So I called what I thought was his bluff and told him, fine, he could buy my pee for $100. The poor loser couldn’t have agreed quicker and I even threw in a pair of pantyhose for an extra $100. This was the start of something sick and wonderful, and I have since discovered that there isn’t much that comes out of me or grows off of me that I cannot harvest and sell to cyber-weirdoes all over America. Since then I have made literally tens of thousands of dollars selling my toenail clippings, shit, piss, spit, puke, and just about anything else I can secrete from my pretty little orifices. Add in the healthy trade that I do in worn panties, hosiery, socks, and shoes, and I have learned almost everything there is to know about the seedy bottom-feeders of the fetish community. I would like to share my vast wisdom with the rest of you girls out there. I’m sure you will find it beneficial in whatever you choose to be in life. Or at least it will make for a good conversation starter at your next family gathering. There are three main types of sad perverts who buy my body’s waste products online. I’ve broken them down here, along with an excerpt of a real email from a representative of each wonderfully disgusting subgenus.  Do you think you might smell bad, you know, down there? If so, it could be time to start reaping the ego-boosting benefits of selling your vagina-goo-soaked panties. As a rule of thumb, the more pussy discharge and skanky ass smell you can embed in them the better. Panties are the most common item I sell. It makes sense. I mean, don’t we all have that certain friend or family member that we wouldn’t be surprised to find out used to raid their sister’s hamper for smegma-laden undergarments? Panty perverts are out there in mass quantities and if they had the choice they’d spend their lives crawling around on their hands and knees sticking their noses up every miniskirt in sight. What’s great is that you don’t even have to show even a little tittie to get into their wallets because nothing pitches their tent like a candid, inconspicuous, cotton-crotch panty shot. Easy as pie. Most buyers are relatively normal perverts while others are relatively like this: Ceara, I am so excited right now that my tiny little boner is ready to pop out of my little underwear. Of course you wouldn’t see it cause it’s about like a baby carrot or a Vienna sausage. It still squirts a lot of jizz though. I know when it has been about two days since my last whack off I can get enough out of it to almost fill my mouth. MMMmm I love eating cum!!! I really hope you can make some VERY RAUNCHY ASS SMELLING PANTIES!!!! I LOVE STINKY TASTY SKIDMARKS!!!!! Talk to you soon I HOPE!!! Thanks, PEEWEE  You would think a guy with a foot fetish is potentially perfect boyfriend material. He gives frequent foot rubs, pays for pedicures, and loves shoe shopping. Unfortunately not all foot freaks limit themselves to these tasteful traits, and the ideal BF candidate soon turns into another pathetic customer. Every guy who loves feet is submissive to a degree—some to the point that they’d put up with a bitch of a girlfriend just because she gives amazing foot jobs and others to the degree that they’d pay money to lick dog shit off the bottom of a girl’s shoe and thank her afterward for the privilege. A pair of pretty feet has the advantage of selling any number of worthless things and if you’re lucky you can even get an informative and detailed descriptions on how said item was used: Ceara, Hi Pookie!! As promised, I have sent the $67 via PayPal. I was so excited that I almost couldn’t wait until payday got here!! It is a privilege to smell the stinky feet of a girl like you!! I am going to the athletic store and I am going to buy a headband so that I can strap your little socks against my nose in a hands-free manner. Then I am going to fantasize about being tied spread-eagle to your bed, with you forcing me to sniff your stinky feet, while giving me a hand-job!!!!! BOING!! Now I’ve gone and done it!! I’ve got a stiffy in my pants right now as I type this!! See what you do to me, Ceara?! You are an incredibly desirable little hottie-tottie!!!! Love ya baby girl!! B.W. What a winner, right? This guy was also the happy purchaser of my special blend Princess Toe Jam Spread. To make it, I got a big container of cheap jam, smeared it all over my feet, and then scraped it off into little four-ounce jars and sold them for $30 a piece. He told me that he made peanut butter and toe jam sandwiches out of it and ate them with his unsuspecting coworkers during his lunch break. I imagine he’s been successfully climbing the social ladder ever since. TIERNEY CEARA
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