TIDBITSA Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Girls Issue
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JEREMY SCOTT FOR LONGCHAMP BAGS
He did a bunch of them but this one is the best because it’s a huge tote that can be folded up all teensers.
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PEEL-OFF FACE MASK
Muddy face masks are a pain to wash off and they make the whole sink messy. When you can peel it off in one big piece it’s clean, satisfying, and fun (because you can do this thing where you pretend you’re peeling off a fake identity like in spy movies).
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AGENT PROVOCATEUR CASHMERE UNDERWEAR
You could put this on a cadaver in Darfur and it would look hot. |
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KNEE-HIGHS
Baby-doll dresses without knee-highs are like transsexuals. They look really good, but if you glance down you see something that’s disappointing. Don’t be a dick. Wear knee-highs.
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CICCIOLINA
She’s a porn star, she’s a model, she fucked Jeff Koons, she took over the Italian parliament, she has the weirdest eyebrows we’ve ever seen, and she’s fucking funny. Cicciolina isn’t an inspiration to women—she is women.
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ROSEBUD LIP BALM
This shit can go toe to toe with that Bag Balm shit any day. |
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BAD GAL EYELINER
This stuff goes on thick and is totally waterproof so you don’t have to worry about looking like Tammy Faye every time you watch Love Story. |
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KITTEN LAMP
We got this for $30 from Wrapables.com because on a scale of 1 to 10 this is about a “cute.”
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BABY-DOLL DRESS FROM FOREVER 21
These make every girl look skinny because they move your waist to right under your tits where it’s about as thin as a torso can get. And don’t sleep on Forever 21. It’s coming up, yo. H&M and Top Shop better recognize!
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VIVIENNE WESTWOOD BOOTS
We heard they’re not in New York anymore because she hates US foreign policy so we asked a rep there and she said, “Though Vivienne is very angry about the War on Terror, the reason we’re not in New York has nothing to do with that. The New York store was run by Japanese investors and after 9/11 they got cold feet and pulled out.” So we can only get these on eBay because Japanese people are chickens? Nice. |
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FAKE ID
If you’ve got $50 you can get this from any of those small photo booths the Mexicans run on Alvarado Street in LA (they’ll ask for $100 but they don’t mean it). |
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KARAOKE MACHINE
Those stand-alone machines with the 5" screens are for chumps. We got this off acekaraoke.com for just over $200. It doubles as a DVD player, plays through your TV, and can take an infinite number of songs. Your neighbors will hate you but that’s the price you pay for making your place The Spot.
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Winner: KITTEN LAMP
To win your free subscription to Vice, send tidbits to:
North America:VICE Magazine,
97 North 10th Street, Suite 202, Brooklyn, NY, USA 11211.
UK:
VICE Magazine,
77 Leonard street, london, ec2a 4qs. mail: info@viceuk.com
Australia:
VICE Australia, Mailbox 61, 278 CHURCH ST, Richmond, Victoria 3121
Scandinavia:
VICE Magazine,
ST. Eriksgatan 48 A, 112 34 Stockholm, Sweden. Email: info@viceland.se
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 Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
Hm-m-m, such a nice magazine were all the shit from over the world placed. Keep on | | Anonymous, on Jun 9, 2009 wrote:
golliwog candies!
if packaging in the us was that awesome, we’d have just about everything we need. | | Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
sit on my face | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
Tims makes the *best* Salt & Vinegar chips--and its amazing with Cabernet ;) | | Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Correction asshole: MUSICIANS benefit humanity. The industry benefits nobody but the industry. | | Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Fuck you Vice for promoting music theft and fuck snot-nosed whiny babies with an entitlement complex who cant shell out fucking 0.99 for a song you can play for the rest of your life and don’t care if they’re comlpetely destroying an industry that benefits humanity immeasurably. Cunts. | |
| crimewave, on Feb 8, 2009 wrote:
i recognized those xanax from a thumbnail. fuck. yeah. | | Anonymous, on Feb 5, 2009 wrote:
aw i love this | | Anonymous, on Feb 2, 2009 wrote:
i drove past sambo’s in santa barbara in april 2000 and everyone in the car had exactly the same reaction. the fact that there was a storm coming, so it looked like a ghost town just added to the "did we just drive back to the forties?" feeling. | | Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
nacism? | | Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
Don’t you know SHIT is the shit? | | Anonymous, on Dec 1, 2008 wrote:
POT
"Me and my girl rolled about three joints before watching The Ring and oh my god did we ever get scared. bollocks !!!
smoke 3 joints and walk around glasgow | | Anonymous, on Nov 28, 2008 wrote:
bag hutch | | Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote:
sink ma teef innit
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| Tiago, on Oct 16, 2008 wrote:
The eyedrops are not american | | Anonymous, on Sep 5, 2008 wrote:
That is not a "cheap slingshot" in the rattlesnake egg envelope. Spin the plastic or metal ring that is suspended by the two rubber bands and put it back in the envelope like that.. then, when someone opens the envelope it makes a loud noise (as the rubber bands unravel, spinning the button against the paper)and they yell and then everyone laughs. say duh, you cheap thief. | | Anonymous, on Jul 13, 2008 wrote:
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! | | Anonymous, on Jul 11, 2008 wrote:
Edgy stuff!!!!!!!!!! | | Anonymous, on Jul 3, 2008 wrote:
I’ve been enjoying hot spotted cock for years. | | Anonymous, on Jun 22, 2008 wrote:
BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE haha I saw that at work the other day and the bagger and I couldn’t stop laughing!
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