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What is this, the Lockhorns? Even if, taking the high road here, your husband's defective penis isn't at least partially the result of your own middleaged bloatification, parading it through the airport can't be helping. Comments/Enlarge | See all


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Paloma and Reuben are both 14-years-old, in grade eight and pretty cool.

Earlier this year they dated for three months, although the first month was unofficial so it doesn’t really count.

Reuben dumped Paloma the day before his birthday. She thinks he’s an idiot for doing that. He admits she’s right.

I think they’re the perfect couple so I decided to take them out for a night and see if I could re-ignite the fire.

BY HANNAH BROOKS


So we get in a cab. They want to go to Vegie Bar even though neither are vegetarian. The waiter says ‘Hi ladies’ and Reuben gets pissed cuz he’s clearly a boy, although he says it happens a lot. Paloma tells Reuben he’s stupid for dumping her because she’s the best girl he’ll ever meet. Reuben looks embarrassed and can’t explain himself, but he does agree with her.


The ice cream shop is about to close so they run towards it like maniacs. The ice cream lady is mean and closes the door and refuses to let us in.

Walking down Brusnwick street, Reuben shows Paloma how tough he is. We go to the Spanish Club so Paloma can show off her flamenco but it’s closed so she dances on the street.

Then jumps in Reuben’s arms. I might not have been able to get them back together but they’re still best friends. And they did get ice cream.

See all articles by this contributor

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Comments

Anonymous, on Dec 7, 2008 wrote:
why do you assume that because they’re kids they can’t dress like fucking royalty. I knew lot’s of kids in my town who dressed like that when they were young. And guess what? We were all dirt fucking POOR.
Anonymous, on Nov 27, 2008 wrote:
Andrew Anthony
Anonymous, on Nov 27, 2008 wrote:
fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaay

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