NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

“You have to meet Stacy’s step-sister. She’s old but she totally rocks.” Comments/Enlarge | See all


If something ever happens to our national acid supply, homeroom is really going to suck. Comments/Enlarge | See all






RELATED ARTICLES

PHOTOS BY TERRY RICHARDSON
Bright, Shiny Morning; Wives, Wheels, ...
EL HOMBRE ARANA
Ryan McGinley Gets Hoodwinked at the Mexi...
VICE FASHION - ICE CREAM GUYS
(And a Couple of Girls)
ROMAN POLANSKI’S PIRATE DAYS
In the summer of 1976, I was asked to ph...





MATCHMAKER, MATCHMAKER

Make Me a Match



We set up a blind date between Zata and Sidney, two 13-year-olds that live in New York City. Zata is a skater I know from skating at Tompkins Square Park and Sidney is originally from London. I chaperoned and paid the tab.

BY PATRICK O’DELL


We met up and ate at this restaurant in Tribeca called Bubby’s. Zata described himself to his date as a director that makes short films. Sidney said she also works in film and that her stepdad is a director. They both love Myspace and Apple computers. Seriously, they said that. We aren’t plugging. Zata says he worked at Mac Camp and was given a free computer. They both took a really long time ordering.

Sidney is not a cheap date. She ordered appetizers and sent back her ribs when they came. She also thought I overtipped when the bill came, and trust me, I didn’t. At one point Zata went to the bathroom so I asked Sidney what she thought of the date so far. She said he seemed too young for her (even though they are the same age) and that she already has a boyfriend who’s 16 and was only doing this date for fun. Zata told me privately later that he’s been on lots of dates before. They wanted to go to laser tag after dinner, but somehow we ended up deciding that the South Street Seaport would be fun.

I bought them some tattoos.

Zata went for the skull on the neck. And Sidney got a rose on her ankle.

Pretty sweet. We walked by the water. I had to lend them 50 cents.

We got ice cream with tons of toppings. Some essential differences started coming up at this point. For instance, Zata plays soccer, but Sidney hates soccer. Zata and I argued about what instrument this is. I said a stand-up bass, he said a cello. The guy was playing with his fingers so I know I’m right, but he said sometimes cellos are played like that too.

This is the final portrait of the couple. Zata asked for Sidney’s number. She told me later that she changed two of the digits.

Zata told me that he is looking forward to calling her and asking her on a second date. Good luck with that, Zata.
Goodnight Sidney Goodnight Zata!

See all articles by this contributor

< PREV

Comments


POST A COMMENT [SIGN IN]
Hi, in case you haven't heard, you can now sign up to become a "member" of Viceland.com, which entitles you to all sorts of amazing benefits like pictures and a nickname. Click here to make your own profile. You can still comment if you don't, but you gotta do it all 'nonymously.

Name:
Comment: