NEWSLETTER

Cover photo by Jamie-James Medina

VICE MAIL Letters - The Kids Issue Dubious About Gremlin, Beer Bait, End of Days, Feel the Darkness...READ MORE

ROBOTRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE The Highs of Yesteryear Suffocating yourself to get high is a good time when you're 12, but that's just because you have no drug points of reference against which to compare the quality of "feeling floaty." Do the age-old kid highs hold a candle to the things that we lucky adults get...READ MORE

PERV HUNTERS Xavier von Erck is the founder of Perverted-Justice.com. They're those guys who put together the Dateline specials where they pretend to be 13-year-old girls online, invite old guys who proposition them on the internet over to their "mom's house," then ...READ MORE

GAYS, STRAIGHT UP! An Elder Statesgay and a Newly-Out Young Man Talk Shop... Billy: Can you tell me a little about yourself? Octavius: I'm 14 and I'm going into the ninth grade. I have a brother who's older. I'm adopted. What does the term "gay" mean to you?...READ MORE

COMING OUT IS A BITCH! An Elder Statesdyke and a Newly-Out Lesbian Talk Shop... Pamela: I came out when I was 16, and I'm around 45 now. You just came out, right? How'd that go? Amanda: I'm 13. At first I felt like everybody was abandoning me and everything. My best friend's family had kind of taken me in. But when I ca...READ MORE

HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL Kids' Cliques Then and Now At least once a year, someone like Time or Newsweek does a feature about, "What's up with teenagers, anyway?" They always wind up asking kids a load of horseshit questions like, "Do you think you have enough free time?" or "Are you worried about college?" They...READ MORE

TIDBITS A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Kids Issue MULTICUTURAL DOUGH If you've ever seen a tanned kid crying during kindergarten, odds are it's because he is unable to perfectly match his skin tone to whatever piece of shit blob he happened to smush together that morning. If you've ever seen a tan...READ MORE

NEW YORK KIDS What I Did This Summer Anthony Long, 17 Best thing about New York in the summer: "Chinatown is ours after dark." Home: Queens...READ MORE

VICE FASHION - BABY BABY MOMMAS Photos by Richard Kern ...READ MORE

MATCHMAKER, MATCHMAKER Make Me a Match We set up a blind date between Zata and Sidney, two 13-year-olds that live in New York City. Zata is a skater I know from skating at Tompkins Square Park and Sidney is originally from London. I chaperoned and paid the tab....READ MORE

ANIMATED GHETTO Tees for Grown-Up Kids Sort of like abortion, thugging out your favorite cartoon character and putting the bootleg on a size XXXXL t-shirt used to be a tricky business. Due to the iron grasp with which Warner Brothers and the other pillars of kids' TV held onto their licenses, the o...READ MORE

VICE RECOMMENDS Right now, I'm really liking laid-back hip-hop from the dirty south-the kind of stuff you could almost imagine people dancing to while lying flat on their back. They wouldn't exactly be dancing though, more just gyrating their hips very, very slowly. One of my...READ MORE

DANCE, DANCE, REVOLUTION! JammX Gonna Make You Sweat Are you down with the JammX? Um, they're only about to take over the entire kidz music scene. Formed by Full House producer Merv Adelson and fronted by wise-crackin' ten-year-old Bobb'e J (who moonlights as a judge on America's Most Talented Kids), this nine-m...READ MORE

KIDS FLICKS Child Actors Review a Nightmare Darwin's Nightmare is a soul-shatteringly accurate documentary that depicts before your ralphing eyes the ways that people, cultures, civilization and the, um, Earth are ruined by the European Epicurean's taste for the giant (cannibalistic) Nile perch found in...READ MORE

HAIRY PIZZAS Interview With My Mast-o-Dad Hello, my dad is Troy Sanders from Mastodon. Here I have interviewed him for Vice Magazine. Vice AKA Me: Dad. Why is the band called Mastodon? Troy: We wanted to find a good way to describe a horde of hideous yet peaceful beasts. Our fi...READ MORE

TOURETTES SUX But It's Great for Finding Guinea Pigs Remember when you were a kid and the teacher made you name birds on a poster in front of the whole class and one of them was called Bearded Tit, and ever since that day you were "tit girl?" Now imagine that, but instead you yelled "motherfucker," and instead o...READ MORE

I WANT MY DVDS Movie Reviews - The Kids Issue Windy City Heat, Koko: A Talking Gorilla, Harlan County, USA, Olivier's Shakespeare, The Tomorrow Show: Tom Snyder's Electric Kool-Aid Talk Show...READ MORE

WORKING IT OUT Jews and Arabs At Play Hey kids! In case you live in a cave, you already know that Jews hate Muslims and Muslims hate Jews and the whole planet is probably going to implode in a black puff of dust because these fucking guys can't just suck it up and shake hands....READ MORE

THE BARMI ARMY Ricky Becomes A Man I don't have very fond memories of Bar Mitzvahs. When I had my ceremonial reading of the Torah (bible) in synagogue, I freaked out and completely lost my voice. Ten years later, at my younger brother's Bar Mitzvah party, I lost hold of him during a traditional...READ MORE

ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE This issue, Electric Independence picked the brain of our guest critic, Jacob Poznanski. He's ten years old and lives in Stamford, a picturesque town in Lincolnshire, not far from Peterborough. We sent him a CD with the tracks on that we wanted to ask him abou...READ MORE

LONDON KIDS What I Did This Summer Kadeem Rhyeon-Little, 10 Best thing about London in the summer? "I can ride my bike around the park and play all day because I don't have to go to school." Home: Islington ...READ MORE

THE GIRLS OF STAMFORD HOUSE Love Boys I spent six months hanging out with, talking to and taking pictures together with a varying group of girls between 11 and 18 at the juvenile detention centre Stamford House in London. It's a secure unit for young offenders and you'll only end up there if your ...READ MORE

VICE FASHION - KIDS VS KIDS Photos by Sanna Charles...READ MORE

P.O.P. MACHINE Peter, Bjorn and John are Headbangers I got to interview the band Peter, Bjorn and John. They were nice and kind, and I think that their music sounds like rock, but it's not really rock all the way. Their music sounds a bit Chinese too, but I still like them. Vice: What are your favourite ...READ MORE

VICE LECTURES FOR KIDS A Series About Stuff! Hey kids, Ever wonder what will be happening four years from now? Ugh-high school! How about 40 years from now? Ugh-apocalypse, riots, and computers ruling humankind as if we were their toys!...READ MORE

AXES OF EVIL Black Christmas My name is Hampus and I'm 9 years old. I was the "little guy" people have been talking about who got Jon from Dissection's guitar at the Midsummer Massacre! Here's the story: Me and my dad and a couple of people went to Stockholm by bus to see the last ...READ MORE

SLAVERY'S BACK! Only Cuter... In Bucharest, you can buy a young girl for 8,000 euros. I mean buy them as in you own them forever or until you sell them to someone else. Most of them are sold by their parents in Moldova when they are little children. As soon as they're bought, the owner bra...READ MORE

SHINY GRILLS Chamillionaire & The Tooth Fairy Rappers are just big kids, right? They dress in those enormous, oversized T-shirts and baggy trousers like little children wearing their dad's clothes. They're also fussy eaters, just like young children who are yet to fully explore the wonderment and joy that...READ MORE

TONS OF FUN Sumo Kids Chow Down I just went to the grand Sumo championships in Tokyo. It was heavy. In the annual Wanpaku Sumo Tournament, which is the youngsters' division, kids from ages 7 to 12 took part to determine who's the toughest fat boy in the land. They come from all over Jap...READ MORE

BACK TO SCHOOL What I Did This Summer Sara, 15 Who I admire in life: My mum, because she never gets tired. What I want to be when I grow up: I want to become a journalist, like my sister....READ MORE

JOKES FOR KIDS Are Supposed To Be Fun! Joke shops are paradise! In amongst the edible underwear, penis-shaped lighters, and wind-up models of dogs having sex with women, there are tons of brightly colored, cutely packaged instruments of sabotage and vandalism that promise children not only fun, but...READ MORE

VICE FASHION - IDEAL KIDS We asked seven kids how they would style themselves and each other-girls got to do boys, and boys got to do girls-and our favourite stylist Lisa helped them put it together. We figured it would give us fashion input and ideas so nutty and unheard of they would...READ MORE

MATCHMAKER, MATCHMAKER Make Me a Match - Take 2 Paloma and Reuben are both 14-years-old, in grade eight and pretty cool. Earlier this year they dated for three months, although the first month was unofficial so it doesn't really count...READ MORE

MY DAD SIGNS BANDS His New One Is The View Once my Dad came home with a CD and he was like: "Listen to this!" We listened to it and it was really, really good. I wanted to hear it again, have the CD, meet them and see them live. They were better than the Arctic Monkeys. The drumming and the guitar...READ MORE

GAMES Scarface, Saints Row & B-Boy SCARFACE In this game you play Scarface who is a gangster that wears an orange shirt and white trousers. There is a film about him that my dad has seen but I’m not allowed to watch it. He is very angry and you get to shoot people with a gun. Somet...READ MORE

ANTI-SOCIAL Living With ASBOs An ASBO is an Anti-Social Behaviour Order given out to people who are always mucking about and getting in bother with the pigs. Because kids are always messing around in the street when their families are dahn the pab, Britain's youngsters are being hande...READ MORE

TV EYE My Relatives in Lebanon I've never been in a war before, but I was told this was the worst war that Lebanon has ever been in. People have lost their lives, their homes, their villages. Some of my relatives' houses have been completely destroyed. We called them and tried to get in tou...READ MORE

KIDS IN TOYLAND A Then vs. Now Toy Showdown If your parents were hippies, chances are you were only allowed to play with stuff you built yourself, or found in the woods. But if you had at least one corporate kid in your class you'll know that there was some good shit out there too. Like, remember Game &...READ MORE

RECORDS Music Reviews - The Kids Issue SPARKLEHORSE Dreamt For Light Years In The Belly Of A Mountain What do you think? Lilly: I don’t think I’d buy it, but I would listen to it...READ MORE