Phil Spector And His Gun
I lived in Los Angeles for a while IN the late 80s. Lots of drinking, lots of working at a video store. I got to wait on Charo, Nancy Sinatra, and Sammy Davis, Jr. So this friend of mine’s mom, the one friend I made while living there, was dating Phil Spector at the time. They had told me stories of how he would never show up before 11 PM, always kept the limo running outside, and had this bodyguard who carried an old-school doctor’s bag with guns and handcuffs in it. Just in case.
So one night my friend and I come back to his mom’s house. We’re pretty drunk and as we pull up we see the fabled running limo. I’m all psyched because I finally get to meet Phil Spector. We come walking into the house and his mom is a little tipsy, which is weird cause she never drank. She is real gregarious, all, “Come in, come in! Say hi to Phil.” We walk out to the back porch and as I step though the door, I look to my right and there is this little tiny elf dude with a bad Vinnie Barbarino haircut wearing Oakley Blades and an ill-fitting suit sitting on the couch. I remember thinking, “Dude, that’s Phil Spector?!” He looks up and the mom goes, “Phil you know my kids, and this is their friend Dan.” His face barely moves, he says nothing and just slowly slides his right hand into the left side of his suit jacket like he is reaching for something in his upper pocket. I say hello and he just stares at me through his Blades and does not say a word. Everyone is kind of quiet and we excuse ourselves and walk to the kitchen. I’m thinking, “That was weird.” I didn’t really realize what he was doing. A few minutes later one of the other guests comes into the kitchen saying, “Sorry about that—Phil is being a little sensitive tonight.” Then we hear all this arguing from the porch and finally we hear Phil yell, “What am I supposed to do? Just sit there while this guy looks at me going, ‘Nice to meet you, you piece of shit!’ Well fuck that…” and so on. My friend says, “Um, let’s go,” and he drives me home. Later it dawned on me that when he reached into his coat, he was going for his gun. It’s funny because I didn’t realize till ten years after the fact. Phil Spector almost pulled a gun on me.
DAN MONICK
Gremlin From Dublin
A friend of mine from a band in Dublin told me this story. A friend of a friend of theirs in Dublin had been on an acid bender for a few days and called his pal at work and was very excited. He was convinced he had found a gremlin. He rang his friend and very excitedly told him, “I’ve got a gremlin for ya,” and said he had it at his friend’s house, so when he came home, he could see it. The guy was like, “Awesome,” you know, as you’d react if someone told you he had a gremlin at your house. I don’t think he really knew what to expect. Anyway, he got home and his friend was still tripping out of his head and there in his kitchen was a small Down syndrome child about 10 to 12 years of age. That’s what the gremlin was. Apparently he found him in a shopping mall and brought the terrified child back to the house. Now the guy’s up on kidnapping charges, but he’ll get off if he claims insanity, because to him it wasn’t actually a child, it was a gremlin. In his mind, it was a gremlin. He can plead insanity because he was in no state to realize what he was doing. The guy hadn’t slept in a hundred hours.
JACK STEEL
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