POWERHOUSE DRUNKA Viceland Exclusive
<From the longest text ever received>
U have good locations for do's and don't's,but u should take powerhouse off of bar list as a hollywood hipster bought it,and changed it around .the change was slight,but it angered me so when I went in one night I was restrained by the bartender and doorman as I was getting ready to heave a table thru the jukebox(and its a good jukebox really).I had to settle for throwing whatever glasses I could get my hands on against any hard surface as I was being drug out.after that I get in a wrestling match with a friend and it ended up with me losing my cool and banging his head into the pavement a few times.no one thought this was cool(including me when I sobered up) so they split leaving me with melanie and david alan coe's kid tyler ,who stayed behind because he felt bad for mel havin' to deal with me.we tried to stop at a restaurant to get some food on my belly to hopefully sober me up a little,but I jumped out of the car while it was still moving before we got there.after this I attacked a guy on a date with his girlfriend as they were trying to pull into a parking spot.I was banging on his windshield and trying to open his car door to drag him into the street,but tyler kept screaming for the guy to "just go!!"
After this i started pulling a garbage can two miles to my house while tyler and mel were trying to coax me back into the car.finally poor tyler gets out and asks me why I was pulling the garbage can ,and I replied in all seriousness,"because jesus lives in here."apparently I said it with such conviction that he believed me and helped me carry it home.of course when I got there I tried to kick out the back windshield of my new cadillac,but just kept falling off the back of the vehicle.
Once inside my house I was now convinced tyler was hitting on melanie(which he wasn't) and I went upstairs to get my shotgun.I just started down the steps ,gun in hand when melanie stopped me and began to cry.really cry.asking me to please put the gun up,please please put the gun up.her crying partially brought me back to reality and I acquecised.she finally got me to bed,but she later told me all night long I was walking around the house naked and hiding in dark places.but at least I didn't have the shotgun.anyway powerhouse is not such a great bar anymore.
JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
See all articles by this contributor Anonymous, on May 26, 2009 wrote:
In-fucking-credible. I read this years ago and I’m floored that it’s still here. Good-fuckin’-look Vice. | | |
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