’ve been married three times and all three times I married nothin’ but trash. I had to work to keep all of ’em up. The first one was Flem. An alcoholic and a wife beater. He used to beat on me. He used to use me for a punching bag. It’d all depend on if somebody ticked him off at work. You know, if he had a good day at work, then he was fine. If he had a bad day at work, I’d hide. I’d know to. If I’d smile at him the wrong way, I’d get slapped. If I’d stand up too fast, he’d beat on me. I was 19 and he was 27. It started about three months after we got married, and then I stayed with him two years.
My second husband, he was bad too. Robert Hankel. Gambled away everything we could get ahold of. I’d bought a house—he gambled it away. He come up to me and said, “Well, I guess we’ll have to find a place to live.” I said, “What d’you mean?” He said, “Well, I lost the house.” I said, “What do you mean, ‘lost the house’?” He said, “I bet it in a poker game and I lost.” I said, “To who?” “Man from up around Kermit somewhere.” Three days later, the man came and hooked it up and hauled it off. Robert Hankel went to live with his mother and I lived in my car until I had enough money to get a new trailer. I was 22 years old.
The third husband was named Carter Mills. I left him because he wouldn’t help me do nothin’. He was a carpenter, and what money he had he either drank it up or smoked it up in pot. I’d cover all the bills, buy all the groceries. I worked three jobs. Drove a bus in the morning, went to work in a restaurant all day, drove a bus that evening, went to another restaurant, and closed it out that night. Worked till midnight. On Saturdays, my only day off, I had three houses I’d clean—my boss’s sister, her aunt, and my boss at the other restaurant. I told Carter one day, “If I have to do it all by myself, I might as well live by myself.” In 11 years that we was married, he gave me $150 to pay the bills with, and he only give me that because I took it. I saw his billfold lying on the table and I picked it up and took it.
I still drive the bus—every morning. Then I go in to the restaurant, Moonie’s Fried Chicken. I cook, I clean, I wait on people, I do dishes—everything has to be done. I couldn’t find one complaint about Moonie’s. They’re excellent people to work for. If I had one complaint it’s that they don’t have enough people working for them. But people here make more money on welfare than working.
A lot of people will complain with their back. A doctor cannot prove or disprove that their back’s not bothering them. There’s no X-rays that can prove that a person’s back’s not bothering them. I’ve got back problems myself, but the doctors can prove that. I’ve got tore muscles, pinched nerves, and a bulged disk. I’m having to take shots now for it, since I’m working so much too. I take cortisone. I have to go to the hospital once every two or three months. They put 17 shots in me last Friday. Doctor said if I was to quit liftin’ and tuggin’ I’d be all right. But when you got things to pay for, you have to work
I keep all my bills paid. Never had anything cut off. I set me a budget, and if I’ve got extra money left over then I’ll go to a grocery store, buy food. If I don’t have it left over, I eat at Moonie’s and you know, she’ll usually send some stuff home with me and I use that for supper. There ain’t no use for me to cook. I live alone. I’ve managed to save $2,000 for Christmas. I don’t waste money. Carter always said I could pinch a dollar till George Washington would squeal. But I mean, I have to.
For a while after I divorced him, Carter’d come around, try to get me to take him back and this and that. He’s the only one’s ever bothered me. Still, I do have a gun, a .380 special. I’ve never had to use it. When I’m at home, I load it and leave it on my coffee table. If I’m in the living room or if I get up and go to bed, I take it in the bedroom with me and keep it on my nightstand. I’m too old to be hurt. I’m 54. I’ve seen enough.
GLADYS MILLS
WALK IN MY SHOES | 1 | 2 |
