NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

Not sure if it has anything to do with Michael Alig being up for parole but you can’t shake a stick in London these days without hitting a club kid. Good. We need more “things.” How else are we going to glorify our youth when we’re old?
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We know it’s rude to eavesdrop, but he had a direct line to the floor of the Wacky Fellers Futures Market and we really wanted to know how things are looking for goofballs in the next quarter. Evidently pretty good. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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LITERARY/I WANT MY DVDS
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Where Did All the Babies Go?





MEET THE KIDS OF LAISVALL

Published November, 2006


Simon, 15

Vice: How do you like living in Laisvall?

Simon:
It’s ok. There aren’t that many cops here. Not until Easter.

What are your classmates like?

They’re alright now. I’m supposed to be in grad school, but I got held back. I was pissy for a year. But I’m good now. Most kids are into hunting and stuff, just like me. I’ve already got my hunting certificate, but I won’t be able to get a gun licence until I’m 18.

Do you have a snow scooter?

Yeah, I bought one today. I’m getting it either tomorrow or Thursday; it depends on when we get the papers sorted.

Can’t you go without the papers?

Yeah, I guess can. As long as I don’t run into any cops.

I thought they only came here for Easter.

Yeah, but you can run into them anyway. And I’m nervous because I’ve been riding around on my moped too.

And you haven’t been old enough?

Yeah, that, and I had it adjusted a bit, so it’s too fast. It has to be around here, otherwise I’ll never get anywhere. For scooters you can get your license when you’re 16.

And how many scooters have you had before this one?

Just one. I got it after my brother. Today would have been his twentieth birthday. I had a Kitty Cat before that too. It’s a kid’s scooter from the 70s, and when I got it, it was the most precious thing I’d ever owned. I’ve gone far on that one. All over this place.

Did you ever go into to the mine?

Sure, loads of times. I was underground too. I had my Work Experience Scheme in school down there, I think I was down there once a week or something. I went there with my dad too, we’d fiddle with some engines and take down a door and stuff like that. I just went back there to look at what was left of it, after they blew up the mining tower, and I did some great findings. I found this Yamaha flag. It probably used to be on top of the tower. Now it was all torn and dirty.

What do you want to see in the future?

I don’t know.


Samuel, 11

Vice: Where did you learn how to build things?

Samuel:
What, fixing up engines and stuff? That’s nothing you need to train for. You just learn it yourself, that’s it. I just like inventing stuff. When I was a kid and all the other kids played with toys I just fiddled with screws and nuts. I’ve built this three-wheeler from an old chainsaw engine and a car seat.

Where did you get a chainsaw engine?

Bought it.

How could you afford that?

Ah, I didn’t buy it. I swapped. For a drill. The three-wheeler doesn’t have a handlebar right now, and this tube is a bit off, so it isn’t properly muffled. It makes a lot of noise. This cable is the gas.

How fast does it go?

We checked it this summer. My grandpa drove behind me on the four-wheeler, and we made it to 60 km per hour.

Have you built anything else?

I’ve made a bob-sledge that I can ride on water. I just hook it up to a boat, and when there’s a wave I can do jumps with it. I’ve made a water kick sled too.

What else do you do?

Me and Simon play paintball sometimes. It’s usually us against everyone from the other villages, so we mostly lose.

VICE STAFF


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