Teenage Chinese Dyke Gangs
Chongqing is the fastest growing urban center in the world. According to The Guardian, its population increases by half a million people each year.
So is it any wonder that there are probably around a hundred lesbian gangs scattered around the city? There’s got to be at least a little bit of everything there, right? For the most part these 16- to 18-year-old girls are not a threat to you. They don’t hurt anyone but each other.
MK is a 21-year-old Chinese filmmaker who became fascinated with Chinese lesbo gangsters when he accidentally tried to pick one up in a bar in Chongqing, thinking she was a boy (he’s a gay). That’s when he discovered that ever since the country voted an androgynous girl as number one Super Girl in the Chinese version of American Idol (her official title was the Mongolian Cow Sour Yogurt Super Girl), looking like a lesbian has become the hottest thing in China since congee with pork and thousand-year-old egg.
But while it may be cute to watch two baby-faced girl-boys share ice cream cones on a street corner in their baggy little skater-boy clothes, if you ever see any rival dykes roll up and start squealing threats, back away and find a safe place to watch. You won’t believe how these girls fight.
“I was hanging with my friend Kee-Kee in my office,” says MK, “when a rival girl and two of her friends showed up for what they call a ‘revenge beating.’ They came in and started yelling at each other. I managed to defuse the situation, but just as the rival girl was leaving she gave Kee-Kee a look that was perhaps one second too long. That was the trigger. Kee-Kee grabbed one of the glass water bottles on the table and started hammering the girl in the face. Then the girl’s two friends jumped Kee-Kee. They had a weird way of fighting. Instead of punching, they slammed into each other. Imagine trying to knock down a door. That’s what they do. One girl got hold of an RCA cable and just started whipping Kee-Kee in random places. Another girl was body-slamming her. After the table was half-flipped, she got ahold of a chair and hit her with it. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.”
RAF KATIGBAK
Hey Doomsdayer, When’s The World Going To End?
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A member of the Great White Brotherhood gives the jury the crazy eye. Photo by AP
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Great White Brotherhood: November 14, 1993 (whoops)
House of Yahweh: September 12, 2006 (but that’s just when the end is supposed to start, you know?)
Brother Stair (Overcomer Ministries): Going on right now (God declared the day of reckoning March 6, 2001. Is your shit together?)
Pat Robertson (Christian Coalition): April 29, 2007 (fuck!)
The Lord’s Witnesses: March 21, 2008 (noooooo!)
Philip Brown: April 6, 2008 (that’s twice in one year)
Lori Toye (Ascended Masters): 2009 (at which point most of the world will have been gradually flooded anyway, so the end will be a mercy)
Worldwide Church of God: August 31, 2010 (too far away to worry about)
Solara (11:11 Doorway): December 31, 2011 (this is when the doorway off our planet closes for good)
Sword of God Brotherhood: 2017 (first year of the Dying Time)
Raelians: 2035 (return of the Elohim to Earth to claim their creation)
Sir Isaac Newton: 2060 (him we are inclined to believe, so don’t make any plans past this year)
CONTINUED:
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