I was addicted to alcohol. I’ve been to five treatments. I did meth too. That doesn’t get you anywhere. It takes everything away from you. Your kids, your house… your entire life. It’s a bad drug. It’s taking over Native communities lately. It started with the adults and now it’s getting down to the kids. Meth is running the whole reservation.
It’s been a struggle for me to get sober because I grew up without a mother. I have a stepmother though. My parents are on the Crow reservation. Their names are Alex and Mary Helen Medicine Horse. I never worked with my inner child though. I was adopted and I have some issues with the past because of that. So I run to alcohol instead. Alcohol is my problem.

I started drinking when I was 16 years old and it was non-stop after that. I drank beer. There were times when it would be hard liquor. We would sneak it or have somebody get it for us. Alcoholism happens on reservations so much because back when the reservations were made they used to trade us alcohol for fur and buckskin. The Indians liked the alcohol. Our ancestors had alcohol problems and then it ran down generation to generation. It goes right down the line. People’s dads die of cirrhosis and so do their aunties and uncles.

I caught a ride all the way down here to Browning from where I’m from. It took about four days. I got stranded in Great Falls for two days and then I showed up in Browning and hung around in the streets with some street people. At that time, I was drinking. The street people in Browning just walk around bumming money for their next drink. They aren’t really homeless. Some of them have homes, and then there’s a shelter here in town. It’s called Medicine Bear Shelter. They feed you and you can watch television there.

Then I just got tired of my life and how I was living. I was putting my kids through a lot. I love my daughter Devetta, but I have seven children. Seven children, and I am 40 years old. So I should put an end to this if I’m going to have any grandchildren. My oldest kid is 21 and my youngest is 17 months old.

So I checked myself into a treatment center here. I had to do a physical and a whole intake assessment. I’m at the Crystal Creek Lodge in Browning. It’s run by Native Americans. We have talking circles and we smudge in the mornings and we have meditation. Sometimes we have sweetgrass going. It’s real spiritual. I’ve never been to a treatment like this before.

MARY BIG DAY

COMMENTS

Subject: ... Date: Mar 07 2006 09:32:17 AM Author: ... Lets do a article on white methheads how many seen the pictures of that in the news..Talking about us natives and alcoholism like we all do it ..I guess you well to do white boys hadnt heard of penny gin or all the other things that went on Europe and all the drinking that went on..the cultures in some of these euro countries give children watered down wines to drink ..Are they all alkies too? Subject: rich thinking people Date: Mar 05 2006 06:55:04 PM Author: OGRed NdN gurl absinthe, wormwood, ISD freaks, skinny no azz pastey white chicks,chicken chested whitemen without muscles, acid pastey untanned skin, vice you dicks and pastey gurls vice both yu lips together cuz we don't want NO more whites blown hot air on this here site..drink you concoctions and fade away....... Subject: HMMMMMMM..... Date: Feb 05 2006 08:04:06 PM Author: PROUD NATIVE I JUST LOVE THAT THE MAIN THING YOU TALK ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO NATIVE PEOPLE IS DRUNKS. MOST WHITE PEOPLE ARE CRACK HEADS... I'D RATHER BE A DRUNK. Subject: .. Date: Feb 04 2006 01:14:45 PM Author: "Minemane" Well leave it up to assholes to trivilize another's pains with thier bullshit commentary. I can understand why the world is messed up there is a bunch of immature little pricks ruining it for everyone. Oh yea btw for those who posted about "indians drinking the firewater" We are no more prone to alcoholism then the white population it just happens we are a smaller population so it looks like we are all ate up with it. The truth of it is there is more white alcoholics roaming the earth then native alcoholics anyways. Subject: lame comments Date: Feb 04 2006 03:41:29 AM Author: krysti It's great how you people make comments on trivialities under an article where a woman has basically bared her soul. She may not be the most eloquent writer/speaker, but it's takes guts to lay it all out on the line, faults and all. She's a woman with problems, but she's taking positive steps to overcome them. Also, to clarify some of her comments: "We have talking circles and we smudge in the mornings and we have meditation. Sometimes we have sweetgrass going." She is referring to some Native American spiritual ceremonies. Sweetgrass is long fragrant grass that they dry out and braid, then burn in ceremonies. The smoke from sweet grass is similar to incense. They waft up the sweet smoke toward their faces. I think it's cool that they use culturally relevant rituals in their addiction treatment. It makes sense to use traditions like that to teach people to soothe themselves in healthy ways rather than turning to harmful substances. Subject: you Date: Feb 02 2006 09:57:25 AM Author: just visiting Sorry, but did anyone else laugh at the idea of an Indian telling one of us to get off our highhorse? Subject: ignorance Date: Feb 02 2006 12:20:55 AM Author: blkftpride i first seen this article i was sickened, not by the article but by the idiots who make stupid ass comments like the ones above.you who do not know how it is should not state your opinion. Its people like you that make mothers tie their tubes for concieving unwanted imbeciles such as you. alcoholism is a real part of native americans and it affects everyone around. it breaks up homes takes away family and does emtional damage to our young ones and maybe even carries that alcoholism on to them. So to you who think all indians do is drink,your wrong, many of our people have degrees and do have smarts to better our lives. you are no better than us blackfeet. so get the hell off your highhorse and realize if you made them remarks here in this town your head would get kicked in. thanks. Subject: Fuckin: Date: Jan 31 2006 11:48:50 AM Author: Nincom Mc. Poop "Ian, mate, we like you but this made us feel really creepy." Nih. Did it really make you feel really creepy? Did you gather in a little group and whisper to each other about how totally freaked out you were by this awful boor? Was it really awful for you? Show us with the doll what the nasty man wanted you to do to his wife. Now. Do it faster. Subject: wow why spk 2 them 2 Date: Jan 26 2006 02:12:53 PM Author: me u picked the worst 2 2 spk 2 oh my goodness wot a pair of nummties ah ah ah pick betta people nxt time ok Subject: Ads Date: Jan 26 2006 05:08:42 AM Author: HeeHeeHawHaw You all sound really stoopid harping on about an ad rather than the article now that the ad has been changed... Subject: vatersay girl Date: Jan 25 2006 08:53:31 AM Author: mr macneil Iain must have been on acid to fucken touch you in the first place you boot!!! Subject: My two cents Date: Jan 23 2006 05:48:36 PM Author: Jah blood Only pussyklats drink snot green booze. Hey Mrs. Native Welfare USA, stop poppin' out the kids man. Subject: Absinthe Ain't no real firewater Date: Jan 22 2006 10:37:29 AM Author: Cousin Booze Ya, I have to agree, the Absinthe ad's didn't need to be on this particular page... Do VICE really thing yuppie fucks like in the ad really read VICE ? Or That VICE readers want to look/be like those people in the AD? When I see those fake ass " rich, sophisticated and interesting" types posing as succesful "beautiful people" drinking overpriced sugar booze for "Inspirational" partying, I can see why people hate them. Subject: cockadoodle Date: Jan 18 2006 05:34:19 PM Author: evnut hey the more hilarious part of that alkaholics ad, is that the album advertised is called "firewater" and the article is titled "no more firewater". actually no one has bought an alkaholics album since 94 so i guess the article wins Subject: abbey Date: Jan 17 2006 08:44:13 PM Author: Buns McGay Maybe Vice can class up 'the rez' by sending the Injuns cases of Absinthe. Perhaps some bottled inspiration is all they need to invent some kind of generator that runs on piss and barf. By the way, are you supposed to pour this neo-absinthe over sugarcubes? The Toulouse Lautrec kind needed it because fermented wormwood tasted like knife sex in your mouth. It would be funny if they had to add Bitrex to this mix just to create the same effect. Subject: tine Date: Jan 17 2006 01:08:45 PM Author: Chris I don't think it's on purpose. THe thing about vice is the ad guys and the editorial guys don't talk to each other. They've always set it up like that. The owners encourage fights between the too. I've been to their office and the ad guys are in a totally different part of the office. It's like their "thing." Subject: Yep. Date: Jan 17 2006 10:21:42 AM Author: Squidbilly For the real shit you need some wormwood, hyssop, anise, PGA, lemon seed, and some other shit for taste. Wormwood is the ingredient that makes you trip. You just still it up and enjoy. But be warned if you drink it and you actually are at a table of honkeys like those pictured above, you'll kill them. Subject: absinthe Date: Jan 17 2006 07:10:43 AM Author: kirchner funny thing is this so-called absinthe come-back is total bullshit. what's being sold isn't the actual liquid lsd that made the expressionnists tremble and commit suicide. it's just cheap booze with no. 6 green added to it. Subject: true. Date: Jan 16 2006 09:51:32 AM Author: meg I have to agree with everyone about absinthe ads. Subject: strange... Date: Jan 15 2006 06:41:53 PM Author: Patric Fallon the Absinthe ad is on every single page of this website. i wonder why it would be on the one about alcoholism? wait, because it's included in "every single page of the website". Subject: Juxtapose Date: Jan 15 2006 11:45:38 AM Author: ~ In the magazine it's next to an ad for the Alkaholiks. I wonder if they do shit like that on purpose. Subject: bottled inspiration Date: Jan 14 2006 11:12:16 PM Author: brenda i like how the article is juxtaposed next to the ad...rich people drinking absinthe. it's fucking green.