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Cover photo by Terry Richardson
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 HEY, HORROR FANS
What's Your Favorite Movie?David: I'm not from a movie. I'm dressed as Dragon Knight, a character I created. He's a human that was possessed by the spirit of a dragon. He is a good guy even though he looks bad. Getting rid of everything evil is his purpose in life. Anything from a human, someone robbing a bank or rapin...
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  YO DYKE! SMASH THE PATRIARCHY!
The Horror IssueHow to Legally Play With Dead Animals
Eileen Wunderlich walks around Berlin looking for animal carcasses so she can take them home and truss them up like they're extras in a Marilyn Manson video made about seven years ago by an Italian goth. Horror buffs have hailed her as the new queen ...
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 LAST RITES
Instructions for My FuneralI recently saw a flier in my building announcing the death of one of the tenants. It was an open invitation for people to gather and "celebrate her life with stories, music, and prayer." Sickening. When did death become such a hippie fest? When I die, I want my funeral to be a truly terrifying exper...
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: November 1994November 1994
Dear Diary,
Last night was Halloween but I didn't do anything. I stayed home to give out candy but nobody really came to our door. Supposedly there was a fight at Barry Lane, and Ally and Julie went and Marcie and Wendy were there too but I guess I feel like Marcie doe...
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 BEEN THERE, DONE THAT
Dying Is Only the BeginningI have been clinically dead five times, not even counting sudden CPR rescues by ambulance or passersby. I once had no vital signs for 20 minutes unofficially and 15 officially. I should have the intelligence of a plant at most.
I'm a severe asthmatic. I go from reasonably or even very well ...
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 DOS & DON'TS
When you're over 25, you're ready for a bit of droop factor in the tit department. Not sagging weasel heads but a cute little-brown nippled "fuck you" to the world of fake tits. Some girls know that and they send out secret boob messages from inside their jean jackets that make you want to buy a mot...
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 THE VICE GUIDE TO HORROR VILLAINS
Real horror fans are nerds who want revenge. We root for our favorite villains the whole way through the film because we WANT the innocents to be killed and tortured. Therein lies the fun. That's why the victims of all the slasher films are preppy football players and their gorgeous girlfriends. The...
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 KEEPING SCORE ON THE GORE
How Real Is Horror?Dr. Howard C. Adelman is a pathologist who does private consultations for police, private investigators, and local morticians. To a horror-movie fan and true-crime fan, the guy is also a living legend. He was the deputy chief medical inspector at the original Amityville murders on Long Island in 197...
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 I'M BUSTED
People in the real world imagine a lot of horror stories coming out of prison. And in a sense they're right–a lot of foul shit goes down. All you free people have seen Oz, right? But living in the belly of the beast, prisoners learn that horror stories are only at the extreme end of the spectrum. Ye...
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 BE LIKE BIGFOOT
Our friend Josh Grace made, and is seen here wearing, the best costume of all time. It was done for the movie Harry Knuckles and the Pearl Necklace. This fucking thing makes your most inventive idea ever look like cutting a couple holes in an old sheet and calling it Ghostie....
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 SKINEMA
Dear Reader, does your lifestyle require that you drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and have tattoos of anchors? ...
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 THE FIRST AND MAYBE LAST ANNUAL VICE HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST
Picking out what to wear for All Hallow's Eventide, a.k.a. Satan's B-Day, can be next to impossible. What you need to get your motor running is some inspiration. We asked Josh the yeti-maker from the previous page and his friend Blake to come up with an unstoppable Halloween ensemble. Something that...
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 TIDBITS
A monthly look at things we love - v12n9SPIDER COCK MAN
Again the Japanese get it all wrong. This is a very tickly cock ring with a hundred pointy tentacles that shoot out from the dick at all angles, which implies that women have about 300 incredibly sensitive clits littered around their labia like venereal warts (which they ...
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 NOBLE ATTEMPTS
We asked everyone in the world to send us their best costume ideas. Send your pics to patrick@viceland.com. View new submissions here....
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 VICE PICTURES
Pretty GoryGore make-up: Sarah Egan
Photos: Glynnis McDaris
Gore Assistant: Alexandra Andrade...
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 CAREER FUCK-UPS
Toronto Hardcore Isn't ScaredThe problem with most bands that try and play hardcore is that they listen to hardcore. Think about it: in the Reagan years, punk kids appeared out of nowhere and essentially made something out of nothing. With no hardcore bands to influence them, what were they listening to? Music, duh!...
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 SILENT DEATH
Obituary Keeps More or Less MumObituary are crucial founding fathers of death metal. They are fucking royalty. If you don't agree with that, you may as well quit listening to metal right now. Their new release, Frozen In Time, is a leaps-and-bounds progression in the genre. It is our favorite metal album of 2005 because it is nar...
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 SILVER FOX
Dave Berman Went and Got Shit OnDave Berman, a.k.a. the Silver Jews, is the best lyricist in rock today. That might be because he is also at the top of the heap of the best published poets in America today. His new record, Tanglewood Numbers, features his wife, Cassie, and his friends Stephen Malkmus and Mike Fellows laying down s...
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 NO TRICKS, NO TREATS
Three 6 Mafia Don't Do HalloweenWe said it over five years ago: all of Three 6 Mafia's records sound like a black License to Ill. Similar 808 beats, same themes: freaky intercourse, substance abuse, and debauched partying. In a southern context, DJ Paul and Juicy J's production, coupled with their infectious club chants, is also s...
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 SCARE-ITABLE DONATIONS
Do They Know It's Halloween? Well, Do They?Last winter, the sausage-curling rerelease of Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas" raised millions of dollars for charity while also perpetuating the ignorance of the song's original lyrics. Sorry, Sir Bob, but Africa isn't a land where "nothing ever grows" and "no rain nor river flows."
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 SHOUT AT THE JERSEY DEVIL
The Scared Bitch ProjectEvery place has its creepy legends and ghost stories–it's just that New Jersey has more of them than anywhere else. There are actual destinations in Jersey called Mount Misery and Ghost Lake and Shades of Death Road. Jersey is reputedly home to the wailing ghosts of countless dead children and also ...
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 HORROR HOTEL
The Ghost of Yeah RightIt was a spooky October night in Philadelphia, a town rife with the ghosts of Revolutionary War heroes, homeless crack addicts, and the Dead Milkmen's drummer. You can feel history and hauntedness just oozing like ectoplasm out of the ancient cobblestone streets of Olde City. Either that or it's the...
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 KILLER COSTUMES
We asked everyone in the world to send us their best costume ideas. Send your pics to patrick@viceland.com. View new submissions here....
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 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
One of the coolest things about Francisco's new Music Business album on Nature–well, the coolest thing by miles, actually–is that the CD and vinyl editions turn into a board game, called Music Business, which is loosely based on Monopoly. The object of the game is that you enter the seamy music biz ...
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 WE HATE HORROR
The New Films Aren't Ugly EnoughMaking this issue was a lot of fun because the main editors are secret horror nerds, but one thing we really noticed when trawling through all this stuff was: how come pretty much every horror movie that Hollywood shits out these days looks like if Trent Reznor directed a two-hour-long Calvin Klein ...
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 ROMAN RUINS
Francisco's Had EnoughWhat's happened to Rome? Thirty years ago, the Italian capital was the only place to be if you wanted in on psychedelic horror flicks and schlocky b-movie violence. Directors like Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci and Fernando Di Leo took the Hitchcock pyscho-spook template and cranked it out of all propor...
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 GAMES
Resident Evil 4, L.A. Rush, Heroes Of The PacificResident Evil 4
Capcom
Gamecube, PS2
Genre: Action / Horror
When did video games start to get good again? All year I've been pissing away my life playing shit like Gran Tursimo 89, Gloria Hunniford's Happy Shopper 5 and Sandy Lyle's Extreme Golf Wars then being all mis...
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 NUCLEAR MONSTERS
Municipal Waste and All That ShitMost of you reading this won't remember the hardcore/thrash "crossover" scene of the mid-80s first hand. Only a small clutch of bands were truly involved such as Hirax, Nuclear Assault, The Accused, D.R.I. and Corrosion of Conformity to name a few. The genre basically involved the heaviness of metal...
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 GRIMEWATCH
Ok, so the MOBOs hate black people. Well, not black people, but Roll Deep who weren't even invited to the awards show....
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 THE DARKEST WHITE BOY
Skream Raises HellDespite our constant support and coverage of grime we still get criticised for focusing on the more aggressive (interesting) aspects of the scene, while ignoring its cousin, dubstep (which is kind of like dark, spaced-out grime with lots of sub bass and no vocals). This may be because up until now, ...
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 GROSS JAR
Ever since our bacchanalian yarf-off back in August, we've been sort of quietly avoiding the Gross Jar. Everyone's high spirits that day filled us with a speedlike sense of ambition and we swore to really get back into the project, but then we couldn't figure out where to go from the vomit, and some...
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 LIVING NIGHTMARE
Paradise Lost Is No DreamThe great thing about horror films is that even while you're shitting your pants, you know deep down that everything is going to be ok–in and outside the film. This is not the case with Paradise Lost, the Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky doco about three young guys accused of the murder of three chi...
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 THEATRE RESTAURANT HELL
My Worst Birthday EverThere are three theatre restaurants that we are aware of in Melbourne: Witches and Britches, Draculas and Hunchbax. We have always been secretly curious about exactly what happens there so decided that we would check out all three and compare them in terms of scariness and quality of stage show. We ...
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 THE GRIM RAPPER
Pegz Kills ItWe haven't said a whole lot about Aussie hip hop before, mainly because much of it is truly frightening and we find its obsession with average colloquial humour hard to take. So, when one of the guys who has been in it from the get go, puts out a new album that shits on anything we've heard in its f...
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 NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS
Die! Die! Die! Are Amazing LiveWatching Die! Die! Die! live is a bit like drinking ten shots of tequila in a row. It vaguely hurts while you're doing it but ultimately leaves you feeling like superman. They play loud and fast and have a tendency to damage drum kits in the process. Their lyrics are quirky and hilarious and underne...
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 DOOM'S DAY METAL
We've been to hell and back for you this month.
And by hell, we obviously mean Bergen, the Hole in the Sky festival and the Tsjuder and Taake concerts.
Things started going wrong as soon as we crossed the border. Everyone keeps talking about how Sweden has the world's highest taxes...
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 TAAKE IS DEAD
At Least For a Few MonthsWe just got off the phone with our new friend Fenriz (that's how he answers his phone. We're texting friends right now to let them know), and he told us "Modern Black Metal is horror for me, hahaha!" And even though we agree that some parts of the scene hasn't been showing vital signs for a while, a...
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