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In their free time, the assistant managers of cellphone warehouses stand in parking lots wearing jeans designed for 12-year-old girls and making gang signs that mean “free talk time on nights and weekends.” Comments/Enlarge | See all



This kid thinks he looks cool but he’s ruining his future—and not just with cocaine. Heroin, meth, speed—there’s a million drugs that are snorted and he won’t be able to do any of them, ever.
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DEAR DIARY
Entry: November 1991
DEAR DIARY
Make-out list: 1990-1997
DEAR DIARY
Entry: February 1993
DEAR DIARY
Entry: November 1991






DADSNEYLAND
Welcome to the Not So Fun Park
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For this months parental advisory event w...
BOOM BAP RAP
Prince Whipper Whip Reminisces
DOS & DON'TS
A lot of guys talk a big feminist game bu...



LESLEY ARFIN
SO, AHAB, CAN I BUM MY DOOBAGE?
Movies That Made Us Wanna Do Drugs
THE SALVATION ARMIES
Imitation of Imitation of Christ are Proo...
HEROIN CANDY
Freezepop Make Cute a Necessity
DEAR DIARY
Entry: April 1992

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New York shits on LA a lot but when West Coasters embrace their inherent Hollywood-Sunset-Strip-Rock-and-Roll-iness it kind of makes New York feel like a cramped shithole filled with rats.
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DEAR DIARY

Entry: 1991



1991

Joey Dipollo came to our school to talk about AIDS. He was so cute. Me and Mia got his phone number. I feel so terrible when I really should feel happy. I fooled around with Blake (1st) and Kris H. (2nd). Now I have to choose??? Tragedy and happiness always seem to come to me in the most bitter ways. I would sometimes feel relieved if I had some incredible talent that I could just crawl right into. Like poetry or ballet. Will I be someone? Will I fall in love? I hope to G-d yes.

I try really hard to like my dad but he always has to ruin everything. I write to you today with tears in my eyes because he can just be the biggest asshole. I got to 2nd with Kris but I don’t like him and Blake is a jerk. Butch hardly ever calls me anymore. What’s wrong with me that I turn guys off all the time? I can’t concentrate with my dad’s fucking music. I hate men! They are all stupid plastic heads with no feelings! I HATE HIS FUCKING MUSIC!!!!!

2005

Not only did Mia and I ask for guy-with-AIDS Joey Dipollo’s number, but we actually fought over which one of us would get him. We laughed it off one day after school, well, because he had AIDS, and everyone knows friendship is stronger than AIDS (mind you he came to our school to educate, not date us).

Although my dad drove me crazy with his baby boomer music (Stevie Ray Vaughn, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, John Hiatt), ironically it is now the music I have come to love.

Is that a becoming-your-parents thing? When my dad overheard me listening to Sick of It All, he rolled his eyes in disgust. I grew up thinking it was a personal attack but see, isn’t that just a My Dad thing?

My parents drove me to dance class and gave me a new diary every other month. They even shelled out the dough for my booming college experience at Hampshire. I was privileged, upper, white, and middle in every way. My terminal uniqueness still gets the best of me. But it could be worse. I could be going out with a guy who has AIDS.

LESLEY ARFIN

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