DOS & DON'TS

Not sure whether this is a crustie wearing the pelt of the bridge-and-tunnel douche he just curbed or a former stockbroker who just went off the deep end but color my pants brown either way. Comments/Enlarge | See all

Used to be a dad like this would have the kid in therapy at age 10. These days divorce and addiction in the family are so common that kids are just like: "Meh, fuck this loser. Who wants to go spend what I just stole from his wallet?" Comments/Enlarge | See all

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IN THE MAGAZINE


Photo courtesy of the Mitchell Brothers

DON'T MUCK ABOUT

Mitchell Bros Stand Up For Britain

Stupid animalistic behaviour almost fucked up the Mitchell Brothers’ career. After mugging Mike Skinner for his phone number at a cash point, Teddy Mitchell got pissed and forgot to retrieve his mobile from the hands of a woman he was trying to shag in The Ten Rooms. Then Mike got drunk in his Stockwell local and lost the recording contract he drew up to sign them to his label, The Beats.

Eventually, they remained sober long enough to set up a studio in a coal shed in Chiswick and began work on one of the freshest-sounding UK hip hop albums released this year. One of the best things about A Breath Of Fresh Attire (ouch, that title hurts) is there’s no mention of New Era caps or walking around town with a pitbull without a fucking lead.

Vice: How come these British kids dress like Ruff Ryders Vol 1 and walk around with a Staff or a pitbull? It’s like they just discovered DMX.

Teddy: It’s just like a bravado thing. You got a dog, so you look kind of rough innit. I’m scared of dogs though man, I don’t like the way they look at me. I couldn’t be fucked to follow it around cleaning up its shit all day long.

Have you got a pet?

If I had to own one, it would be a fish. That’s an animal, isn’t it?

I think so.

Yeah, I’d probably get an aquarium or something. Get some piranhas and be like a James Bond baddie.

Where did you take that picture of you and Mike?

That’s The Beats office in Chiswick.

Has it got an aquarium?

No.

Shame. So you and Tony don’t look like regular rappers do you?

I’m not gonna wear a Boston Celtics cap and a baseball jacket when I haven’t got the fucking first clue about those sports. American rappers are proud of American culture and embrace that in their style, we’re proud of being British.

How did you afford nice clothes before Mike stepped in with the cash?

I have this old waistcoat, right? I found it in my dad’s cupboard and was like, shit this is actually kind of nice, I think I can make this shit work. People are like, shit where did you get that waistcoat from? If it were from Burberry it would be worth like four hundred quid. It’s all about the creativity, boss.

JAIMIE HODGSON
A Breath Of Fresh Attire is out this month on The Beats.

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