Published June, 2005
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Cover photo by Terry Richardson
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  CHEESEBURGER GAME
RULES:
Get four people together andplay this booze cruise of a game. You'll need a case of beer, soome gross liquor, and a bit of the "devil's dandruff."
This game was made by the band Cheeseburger...Read more |
 ARE YOU A CUNT?
Take This Fun Test and Find Out!
1: Your former best friend has a NEW best friend, and the two of them totally ignore you out as they parade down the school halls with their arms locked together. To retaliate, you decide to:...Read more |
 AH, SO! WUZZ-A UP-A?
Have you ever wondered what kind of a world we'd live in right now if, instead of committing atrocities against each other, evil men and despots just worked out their frustrations writing some music? I've wondered that. Here are the record-sales-figure equival...Read more |
 DEAR DIARY
Entry: February 1993
I went to the Roxy and met this kid Mike Rubin. He's the drummer for the Warped Weeble Wobbles. He is the greatest. A sophomore at BU and the smartest kid. I cut my hair. My life is so boring. I'm just waiting for something to happen. If something doesn't happ...Read more |
 MAFIA PARTY
I'm going to tell you about a parlor game that sounds like the corniest Christian-camp-organized fun you could imagine but that you will instantly become addicted to, guaranteed (unless you're Janeane Garofalo). The game is called Mafia and a Russian psycholog...Read more |
 DOS & DON'TS
Tiny shorts and little legs stuffed into big leather boots puts girls on a Country-and-Western pedestal that says, "I'm frail and delicate enough to always make you horny" BUT "I am also prepared to defend you and kick the shit out of anyone that disparages yo...Read more |
 THE GREATEST LOVER
Black or White or Male or Female?
I was a lesbian for ten years and then one day I decided I wasn't. Or at least, I wasn't sure anymore. Most people instinctively know what they like sexually, but what about those of us who don't? How do we figure it out? First I tried to decide based on what ...Read more |
 SPECIAL DOS & DON'TS COMPETITION-FILL IN THESE CAPTIONS!
Are you funny? You're not? OK, then just be really, really brutally honest about how these two pictures make you feel and it will probably come out funny. That's right, all you have to do to win this amazing competition (and all the great prizes that come with...Read more |
 I'M BUSTED
In the pen there ain't a whole hell of a lot to do. Prisoners develop hobbies to keep their minds occupied, because like my man Sport says, "Idle minds court chaos." Courting chaos in prison can quickly lead to death. If you mess with the wrong joker at the wr...Read more |
 EXQUISITE CORPSES AND SUCH
Young Jeezy's Parlor Game
Although his logo is an adorable drawing of an iced-out snowman, Young Jeezy is more crafty than artsy. While coming up in the trap, he didn't have much time to devote to sketching, decoupage, crocheting, or gouache-let alone pottery. He did, however, have a p...Read more |
 SKINEMA
By Chris Nieratko
BELLADONNA'S FUCKING GIRLS AGAIN
Do you know why people love buffets? Aside from them being retardedly inexpensive, all-you-can-gorge glutton fests? It's that they have a little something for everyone. If...Read more |
 GO! GO! GO!
The Fucking Go! Team Get Going!
The Go! Team make music that sounds like that rare feeling of pure elation you get when you've had a perfect, nightmare-free sleep, the sunshine is streaming in through the blinds of your really nice big apartment, and a person you love is cooking your favorit...Read more |
 TIDBITS
A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Rainy Day Issue
EN METER
Here's some fun facts about Scientology.
1. They use this machine to measure your En Grams...Read more |
 BIG MOUTHS
Pelican Take Risks
If you're a wimp and can't just dive into some Cannibal Corpse, Pelican is the gateway drug to contemporary metal. After this it's all Venom, Old Man Gloom, and Pushing Up Daisies.
These four guys from Chicago (aka the worst shithole on earth) might look ...Read more |
 FIND THE EYEHATEGOD STASH
This maze is a typical day in the life of Eyehategod. You wake up, get through your shitty day job, get high, sleep, get high, drive around lookin' for shit, get ripped off, then get good shit but get busted by the pigs. The prize at the end of the maze is a f...Read more |
 DRAW A FUNNY FACE
Choose a Devin Flynn-drawn face to mess with, and then click and drag your mouse to draw all over it. Email us a screenshot of your best effort. We'll be posting the cream of the crop here....Read more |
 GETTING A TATTOO
The Wisdom Of Such A Thing
I've tattooed over 10,000 people and there's been lots of regrettable tattoo stories.
There's a general feeling I have that if you don't feel strongly enough about a sentiment to get it tattooed on you in English, then you probably don't feel all that str...Read more |
 INVASION OF THE REPTILES
The Bedtime Story I Tell My Kid
Once upon a time man and woman used to live to be over 700-years-old here on earth.
At that time the earth was a heaven and a lot newer than all the other planets. Mars, which is the closest in our solar system was thriving with life, as well as the three...Read more |
 I WANT MY DVDS
Movie Reviews - The Rainy Day Issue
SHEER TERROR
For all the songs about unity and friendship, hardcore was always one of the most cliquey, elitist scenes in the history of music. Like a LES version of Poison Idea, Sheer Terror...Read more |
 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
Did you hear about Vitalic? Some arsehole stole his laptop last month in that Cargo venue in Shoreditch just after he'd soundchecked which meant he couldn't play what was due to be his most important London show (after the blanket praise for OK Cowboy) and wou...Read more |
 GAMES
Games Reviews - The Rainy Day Issue
DESTROY ALL HUMANS
As well as great things like experimental bisexuality, funk metal, Prodigy and dreadlocked beards, the early 90s were halcyon days for UF0-spotting and alien abduction...Read more |
 GRIMEWATCH
Grimewatch Special: How to Make Your Own Grime Magazine!
RULE NUMBER 1:
DON’T HIRE ANY ‘GRIME JOURNALISTS’
I’m not saying that there aren’t any good music journalists covering grime. It’s...Read more |
 LITERARY
Book Reviews - The Rainy Days Issue
THE COCAINE CHRONICLES
This is worth picking up from somebody’s toilet floor if just for the Jerry Stahl piece where he details the delights of blowing cocaine up his ageing dealer’s rectum to score...Read more |
 DOOMSDAY METAL
Even though Varg Vikernes has been in jail for the past ten years, having his books published by his mother and with no intentions what so ever of ever making black metal music again (ever), Burzum is still one of the first words from every newbie metalist's m...Read more |
 PRISON ART SKETCH PAD
By Kenneth
This one is called "Rebirth." I believe you come back. Though I haven't seen this guy, Dimitri, again. And the angel is my niece. She has died from cancer three times, but she's still alive. She's really unique, and her godmother is Catherine Zeta-Jones. Ten y...Read more |
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