NEWSLETTER

Imagine you have an amazing band that does better grindcore than the thousands of little skirts pumping out so-called heavy music nowadays. Now imagine that you record music at an insane rate of speed, no fucking frills, basically so that it sounds like it was done on a boombox in a garage. Then you release the fucking results on a CD and say, “No copyright!” You’d have to be stoned, right? Like ultra-mega-blazed, right?

Total Fucking Destruction ARE that fucking high, because that’s exactly what they do!

VICE: What is your band’s favorite drug?

Rich: Beer, girls, vodka, weed, and speed.

That’s way more than one. That’s like six things.

Total Fucking Destruction seeks everything, all of the time.

Just pick one thing.

OK. Our favorite drug is crazy fucked-up daily life in the modern day military/entertainment/technology complex.

Well, what drugs are the antithesis of your band?

Absolutely none. You see, there ain’t NO party like a Total Fucking Destruction party. Our fans are sick freaks who delight in the unraveling of postmodern civilization. They come out to the show to get fucked up on drugs and alcohol and bang their heads—not as a distraction, but as a joyful acknowledgment of the slow-motion apocalypse unfolding before us.

You kind of talk like Andrew WK, but nihilistic instead of super posi.

[Silence.]

What have you learned from LSD?

The purpose of each human is to die alone, and a sense of dread for the future is common, even if unrealized. The standardization of consumption has provided a cost-effective method of sedating the majority of the planet’s human populations. We are all Elvis now, and we will all be soldiers for the glory of the corporate world-state in the fourth world war. We long for a deathlike silence to engulf the planet.

That sounds really cool. What are your thoughts on the straight edge movement? That’s these fucking dudes who do zero drugs, like not even cigarettes. I heard some of them don’t even fuck.

Specifically, Total Fucking Destruction stands for zero tolerance for intolerance, but in general, we feel that thoughts and thinking on the part of the individual are highly overrated.

I don’t really get it but, OK, sweet.

TINA PEPPERS
Total Fucking Destruction’s Compact Disc Version 1.0 is out now on Bones Brigade Records.

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