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If you're a psychotic murderer who needs to dispose of body parts across town, dressing up as a Godspell unicycle mime on his way to work is a surprisingly good option. The unicycle case will fit the average-sized kid and people tend to assume the smell is just coming from you. Comments/Enlarge | See all


I don’t know about exploring the inner workings of the universe with E. The first couple of hours can be great but how about the last three hours of lying in bed a day later with the fear, frantically trying to jerk off to lessen the pain? Comments/Enlarge | See all






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WEST END HORROSHOW

Snow White Say No To Heroin & Crack



Snow White's "Bored Somewhat Detached" debut sounds like if crackheads with big scabs on the back of their necks had covered "Silver Machine" and changed the lyrics.

In reality, the band are four quite well-to-do indie kids who host the White Heat club on Old Burlington Street in London's fancy Mayfair. The White Heat crowd is less druggy and weird-looking than the Rhythm Factory scene. But they make more deranged and out-there music than The Jam-obsessed Rock A.D (After Doherty) lot.

Good looking, well-mannered and maybe slightly boring, the bands that are coming out around Snow White include people like Nameless Grace, Comenichi and, with one of the worst names ever, Test Icicles.

VICE: What's the difference between the White Heat scene and the "grimy" East London scene?

Olly: I think it's that we don't take that many drugs because we can't afford it and we don't like the Kinks as much as they do.

And your club is pretty boring compared to All Back To Pete's House?

We're all perfectly sane, loving people. There's Teenwolf and the German guy with the White Heat tattoo who speaks like a character from The Fast Show. Just don't look at anyone funny and you should be fine.

Umm, okay. Do you know any crazy people?

Well, one friend of mine made sure he stole as many chocolate bars as possible while in a friendly mental ward. That's as far as I'm willing to go till I get written permission from the people in question.

CARL A. HOMOLKA
Snow White's new single Barbarico / The Death of Lynda Lee is out now on Click Click Bang records.

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