Every issue, we have to do at least three features on "music," and to be honest, it's usually a bit of a bummer. It's not terrible, it's just kind of whatevs, like writing a five-paragraph essay defending your thesis that "cereal is a food." Everyone knows that cereal is a fucking food! That's why you eat it and it tastes like something!
But every once in a blue moon, you pull on your work boots and put the CD on, and your face explodes. It's a very "whoa" moment, and NYC's Diamond Nights just delivered one to the max, Jaded Jack. It's Thin Lizzy all sexed up with some Ric Ocasek silk on top (but like, really Ocasek-y, not just in name like on that record Le Tigre just farted out). If you don't agree that this shit rules, you're a crazy person. We asked guitar guy/singer Morgan Phalen all about knowing nutjobs like you.
VICE: Most people seem to know more crazies when they're little, or at least before they move to New York and totally lose track of who's crazy and who's not. Do you remember any childhood crazies?
Morgan: I grew up in Mexico and we had this maid whose daughter was missing a chromosome. It was called Marionette's Disease. Basically, she walked all stilted and had huge eyes. I think there's a village in Venezuela where they all live, actually. She also ate Barbie dolls.
What?
The only reason we knew was because she'd throw up and it would be this huge pile of black barf with, like, little presents in it. She had a crooked haircut and her name was Edith, but down there you say it like "E-Dit." We fired her mom, so I don't know what's up with her now.
RYAN DUFFY
Diamond Nights debut EP is out now on Kemado Records.
