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If people get pissed at you for not going to Jody’s birthday it’s because they wanted you to be there to entertain people because they’re so lame. Don’t feel guilty. You’re not a court jester. In fact, if you do show up, wear these pants and go, “All right assholes. You got your way. Which shitty life needs a dose of me?”
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You don’t have to be rich and famous to be like Jay Z and Beyoncé. You just need 100 shots and weird lighting.
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The Beatles Saved My Life

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This is kind of what the world is going to be like once we win the War on Terror, end poverty, and give every child on earth a laptop. Life will become one big Saturday afternoon where everyone’s friends and all horror DVDs come with a gram of pot.
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Pete Best autographed this photo for Rob. If you don't know who Pete Best is, you can't be friends with Rob. Photo by Tim Barber.

HAVE YOU HEARD THESE GUYS?!?

The Beatles Saved My Life



I play the Beatles One CD over and over again. They called it that because every single song on it hit number one on the charts. "Help" and "In My Life" are my two favorites. I think my least-favorite is "Ballad of John and Yoko." I'm not that big of a Yoko fan. I think she broke up the group. I'm not blaming her—I think Yoko is a good person and I think she was very attractive too.

The Beatles are my all-time favorite group, but I wouldn't say I'm one of those crazy, obsessive Beatles experts. "Hey Jude" was their biggest hit in America—it was number one for nine weeks. It's a beautiful song and some people think that Paul was talking about John but he said "Jude" so John wouldn't know. "Love Me Do" was their first single from their first British album in 1962, but it hit number one in America in 1964. I think of early Beatles when I think of this song, because it's one of their earliest songs. This was back when they still wore matching suits. "From Me to You" reminds me of my friend John. We go to all three days of the Fest for Beatles fans every summer. The first one was the summer of 1977, which was the greatest summer of my life because it had The Gong Show, Farrah Fawcett, and the Beatles. It was August 19 and 20 at the Palmer House in downtown Chicago. My friend and me did a Beatles act where we played badminton rackets as guitars and we sang along to Beatles songs. I played Paul and he played John. It was great fun!

"Help" is my favorite Beatles song. They did it on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1965, the day before they played Shea Stadium in August of 1965, and then they showed the performance on The Ed Sullivan Show on September 12, 1965. They did six songs on that show: "I Feel Fine," "I'm Down," "Act Naturally," "Ticket to Ride," "Yesterday," and "Help." I like "Help" so much because I often feel like I want to cry out for help. I'm lonely. I wish I had a girlfriend. It's like, "Help me if you can, I'm feeling down. I do appreciate you being 'round. Help me get my feet back on the ground. Won't you please, please help me?" I can identify with that. I don't know if I ever want to have a kid, but maybe I could have a baby if I meet the right woman and get married someday.

ROB LOGAN
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Disco

Fast Food

Good Music

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