NEWSLETTER

SINGING NUN PUPPET We couldn’t tell if this puppet was supposed to be for kids who love the idea of a happy young nun honored to sing His hymns, or if it was for fucked-up Catholic boys that are still traumatized from how horny Sister Fitzgerald made them feel.

FRIES AND GRAVY CHIPS Canada has better potato products than America because Irishmen founded it. And Quebec has better chips than the rest of Canada because they take that Irish potato and give it some French flair. No wonder that Humpty Dumpty guy is so unflappable.

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WAN WAN FRIED CHICKEN Let’s get one thing straight. Despite what this misleading Japanese letterhead implies, nips do not eat dogs. Chinese and Koreans throw them back like french fries, but the Japanese are way too civilized for shit like that. KISS POP “These are sold in France to teach kids how to French kiss. They come in different flavors so you can practice with different races.” ANNE MARGREET HONING JOHNNY CASH’S BUCK KNIFE “Johnny Cash used to take 70 Dexedrine a day. 70!! This is a buck knife that once belonged to Johnny that I bought at an auction. I am thankful to have it, but I goddamned wish I had his pharmacist too.” JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

PLAYMATE BOOK This beautifully laid-out book features the best of the past 50 years of Playboy centerfolds. The only bummer about the whole thing is you see fake tits appear on the scene sometime around the mid 90s and then kind of take over. SARS PEPSI When Toronto, the most culturally diverse city in the world, got blamed for the SARS epidemic, they had a bunch of Rolling Stones concerts in order to get tourism back on. When Southeast Asia ran into the same problem, they went the cheaper route and just “owned it” by marketing SARS in various forms as the hot new disease.

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