TIDBITSA Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Tidbits Issue
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DELICATE ADVENTURES
[toke] “So what happened with you and Jessica last night? Did you guys get up to some [exhale] delicate adventures?”
[on the ground dying laughing] Holy shit. Are you kidding me? Did you just make that up? (And a term is born that lasts the rest of their lives.)
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SUBCOMANDANTE
MARCOS DOLL
This is how some of the poorest people in the Northern Hemisphere fund a rebellion against the Mexican army and the federal police: They sell dolls of their leader to gringo tourists on the side of dirt roads, along with papayas, watermelon, and string cheese.
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SKAG
In the UK a skag is a wee bit of heroin. That’s why you have to use this book when you’re high and you think you just had a stroke of brown genius. You didn’t. Bloodbath and Beyond is not the most genius band name ever thought of. |
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THE TOTO CHLOE BIDET SEAT
“I bought Adam Carolla one of these because he kept saying wiping his ass was ‘like getting peanut butter out of a shag carpet.’ He swears by it.”
JIMMY KIMMEL
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PRO DOPE
Sure an unexpected dose could kill you, but if you stick to really tiny bumps and you don’t have an addictive personality, is it so bad? Just you and a friend or two listening to records all blissed out? If you can keep it to once a year, why the fuck not?
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MINI DICKMANN’S
If you’re dating a guy with a really tiny dick and you really like him but you’re worried about never having satisfying sex ever again, just go for the butt every once in a while. As you can see here, it’s not really that different.
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PINK NIPPLE CREAM
What kind of fucking howe mowe gives a flying fuck what color women’s nipples are? |
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BARPING
When you’re really hungover and you start having these huge burps that come from so deep inside you it’s like “BAARP!” that means your hangover is starting to end. It means your body is starting to digest things again. Every time that happens, hold your finger in the air and go, “Consequential burp.” It’s the thing to do. |
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 Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
Hm-m-m, such a nice magazine were all the shit from over the world placed. Keep on | | Anonymous, on Jun 9, 2009 wrote:
golliwog candies!
if packaging in the us was that awesome, we’d have just about everything we need. | | Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
sit on my face | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
Tims makes the *best* Salt & Vinegar chips--and its amazing with Cabernet ;) | | Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Correction asshole: MUSICIANS benefit humanity. The industry benefits nobody but the industry. | | Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Fuck you Vice for promoting music theft and fuck snot-nosed whiny babies with an entitlement complex who cant shell out fucking 0.99 for a song you can play for the rest of your life and don’t care if they’re comlpetely destroying an industry that benefits humanity immeasurably. Cunts. | |
| crimewave, on Feb 8, 2009 wrote:
i recognized those xanax from a thumbnail. fuck. yeah. | | Anonymous, on Feb 5, 2009 wrote:
aw i love this | | Anonymous, on Feb 2, 2009 wrote:
i drove past sambo’s in santa barbara in april 2000 and everyone in the car had exactly the same reaction. the fact that there was a storm coming, so it looked like a ghost town just added to the "did we just drive back to the forties?" feeling. | | Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
nacism? | | Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
Don’t you know SHIT is the shit? | | Anonymous, on Dec 1, 2008 wrote:
POT
"Me and my girl rolled about three joints before watching The Ring and oh my god did we ever get scared. bollocks !!!
smoke 3 joints and walk around glasgow | | Anonymous, on Nov 28, 2008 wrote:
bag hutch | | Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote:
sink ma teef innit
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| Tiago, on Oct 16, 2008 wrote:
The eyedrops are not american | | Anonymous, on Sep 5, 2008 wrote:
That is not a "cheap slingshot" in the rattlesnake egg envelope. Spin the plastic or metal ring that is suspended by the two rubber bands and put it back in the envelope like that.. then, when someone opens the envelope it makes a loud noise (as the rubber bands unravel, spinning the button against the paper)and they yell and then everyone laughs. say duh, you cheap thief. | | Anonymous, on Jul 13, 2008 wrote:
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! | | Anonymous, on Jul 11, 2008 wrote:
Edgy stuff!!!!!!!!!! | | Anonymous, on Jul 3, 2008 wrote:
I’ve been enjoying hot spotted cock for years. | | Anonymous, on Jun 22, 2008 wrote:
BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE haha I saw that at work the other day and the bagger and I couldn’t stop laughing!
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