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DOS & DON'TS

So far the only funny thing Jerry Seinfeld has done is convince an entire generation of unmarried uncles that it’s perfectly acceptable to dress like a member of a New Edition tribute band made up of guys on their first day out of rehab. Comments/Enlarge | See all


Bow-ties are almost impossible to pull off without looking like a groom at a Las Vegas wedding or a magician who works children’s parties, but these two faggoty little smart Alecs have nailed it so hard they’re making me wonder what their warm little cocks would feel like in my hand. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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FROM THIS ISSUE

SEVEN INCHES, HARDCORE
A Piece of One Man's Collection
HEY SEXY
Cat5 Flirt Back
BAD KIDS
David Choe's JD Tools
HOTEL LIFE
Mike Skinner Works In His Room





HUNTERS AND COLLECTORS

Fox'n'Wolf Are A Little Bit of Both






If Crass, Michael Jackson, and Leila K had a threesome and gave birth to a kid it would be Fox’n’Wolf. And they get bonus points for turning into a sugar sweet, cutesy version of GWAR live—there are masks, and Fox does things chicks usually only do in crunk videos. Fox’n’Wolf’s debut album, In Yr Underwear, will be out in January.

WITH PATRICK CROTTY

CUTE STUFF
Fox: These are like lucky charms from when I hurt my eye. One year ago I got this killer bacteria in my eye from my contact lenses after we played at a music festival. They had to operate and if things went wrong they would have had to remove my eye. These two dudes helped me get through it. Now we hate music festivals.
GREAT OUTFIT
Fox: I got this from Chloë and Paul Sevigny. The Juelz Santana shirt is from Paul, and the USA flag jean jacket is from Chloë. The Carrera glasses are from Paul too. You gotta keep it real, ya know! And Paul is keeping it real with Carrera.

BUBBLY STUFF
Fox: We use champagne on special occasions. Like when Kitsuné signed us. It happened when we were partying in Paris with a black toothless beefcake transvestite.
KNIVES
Wolf: I don’t collect any firearms, just weapons that require brute strength. I have about 40 different hunting and fighting knives. And none of those science fiction/fantasy replicas, I only want the real thing. I can’t say that I collect them really, it’s more like I unintentionally collect them.


FOOD
Wolf: This food will make you feel like you’re eating in the great outdoors.
Fox: This is what we’ll eat when the money from the book runs out.
BOOK
Wolf: This book is stolen from a library and is really rare too. You could get like €1,000 for it online, so its pretty much like our secret emergency money. When we are totally broke we can whip this out on eBay and cash in.

GLASSES
Fox: I have about 26 glasses. These are from all over the world. One pair is from Bangladesh, but a lot of them came from either Texas or New York.

MEDS
Fox: These are really strong painkiller from the eye operation.

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