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When you find the perfect haircut for your face like Little Miss Fringe here, you should just have it cast in bronze right onto your head. As the farmer said to Babe, “That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.” Comments/Enlarge | See all

There’s a fine line between horny-slob-who’s-up-for-it in a good, old-fashioned fuck-in-the-bathroom way and horny-slob-who’s-up-for-it in a Jesus-Christ-what-have-I-done, gonorrhea-ish way. Comments/Enlarge | See all

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How did he do that? Not just make frayed letters on his jeans, but how did he become this kind of person without anyone wedgie-ing him off course?
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CHEAP FOR YOU

A Bunch of Crap from the Streets of Vietnam

A friend and I went to Vietnam recently and encountered hundreds of people trying to sell us things we didn’t need. We spent most of the time actively avoiding persistent vendors but then decided to play a game one day where we bought every single thing that was offered to us at the original asking price—no exceptions. Here’s what we ended up with:

DAYLY LIFE OF VIETNAM POSTCARDS
Because of this game we paid the equivalent of thirty fucking dollars for these.

FRIDGE MAGNETS
The markets in Vietnam are sprawling, multi-levelled jumbles of hundreds of random items, fake labels and fishy bi-products. These particularly horrible magnets were the first thing we were asked to buy.

CRAVEN “A” CIGARETTES
They don’t have to include health warnings on cigarette packets in Vietnam. In fact, they get away with things such as naming their cigarettes after the physical side affect of addiction.

TOURIST T-SHIRT
This t-shirt shows what Vietnamese people think tourists think about Vietnam I guess.

RUDE LIGHTER
This lighter came from a miniature street vendor. When it’s tilted, it oscillates between a bikini-clad lady and a couple making out while a red light flashes and it plays a Euro-style disco track. I have had this song stuck in my head all day!

SNAKE WINE
When the neighbouring stall girl saw us buy the magnets she knew she had hit a winner. Luckily she only offered us the medium sized bottle of snake wine. This one has a snake holding a giant scorpion in its mouth. Apparently it’s medicinal. I made my friend drink some of it back at the hotel but he fell asleep before I could gauge how strong it was.

VIETNAMESE HACKY SACK
All the kids in Vietnam were kicking these around. They look like they’re much more user friendly and logical than our hacky sacks and we can’t believe hippies everywhere haven’t caught on.

OBSCURE BOTTLE
There were lots of unattended bottles like this, filled with an unidentified liquid, sitting on the side of the roads. We couldn’t quite get to the bottom of it, but based on the explanations of a couple of locals, decided it was either petrol or piss.

WHY NOT BAR FLYER
Someone handed this to us on the street. Do they really need to ask why not?

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