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| This guy went from the best dancer at the club with the best coke to this kind of eccentric regular to a fucking crazy homo that is completely out of his mind. What the fuck is on your head, guy? Are you my Nana? |
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| You’re supposed to have a bit of humility when you barf. Like, you go behind a garbage can and get the fuck out of there when you’re done. You don’t set up shop on the bench outside the restaurant like you’re reading a good book and then sit there after it watching what your stomach acid did to the sun-dried tomatoes. |
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| No, you are not hallucinating. Some wrinkly old turd brainwashed a woman into allowing his penis into her body because it’s “spiritual.” What is it about these “make up your own religion” guys where fucking a lot of young girls is always a crucial part of the “awakening.” |
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| Girls and tattoos is a tricky scenario. Full sleeves are a bit much. Lower-back patterns are for dumb sluts. The odd small heart here and there is fine but a half-finished back piece of a naked lady fingering her own asshole? That’s the first tattoo to rival taking a shit in the middle of the street and screaming, “If you don’t like it, you don’t have to watch.” |
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| Hey, while we’re banning gay marriage can we also ban simpletons on welfare that get married at the courthouse dressed in matching basketball uniforms and flip-flops? The “groom” didn’t even take his fucking backpack off. |
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| The only guys that get laid less than guys that live with their mother are guys with good jobs and expensive apartments. These poor bastards work so hard they only have one or two nights a week to let go and it all comes gushing out in a no-pussy-for-miles “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” drunken ejaculation of missed opportunities. Wooooh! |
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