ALL THE PLACES I NEVER WANTED TO GO

06.8.05, Orlando, FL
We’re on the Warped Tour and I feel like we’re sore thumbs. Fear Factory and their crew seem to be the first band to really attempt to embrace us as friends and fans. Dream Theater and Megadeth are both a bit stand off-ish.

11.8.05, Ft Wayne, IN
A guy named George, a 19-year-old local, took us out to a frat party. Beer bong, young but sorta cute chicks etc. We got some kid to eat a stick of butter for €20. I smoked out of Nevermore’s vaporizer the other night.

14.8.05, Cleveland, OH
We were in catering yesterday and saw Dave Mustaine look at a photo of James Hetfield with the white “EET FUK” Explorer raging. He pondered it, then walked over to his friend, who at this stage we suspect is his spiritual advisor or minister of sorts.

16.8.05, off day
The other night in Cleveland we started to feel the bus rockin’, pitch and heave. It got pretty aggressive at one point, and from the sound of things the flogging moved into the hallway.

17.8.05, Pittsburgh, PA
There was ridiculous debauchery going on between the Fear Factory and one of the FYE Production busses last night. A piece of coked up trash with fake tits was getting slammed in clandestine corners.

20.8.05, Manchester, NH
Burton from Fear Factory gave me another angle on why not to drink milk. He says he drinks soy to avoid what he called “the herding gene.” What he meant was that you truly are what you eat, so if you ingest cow’s milk you are in a sense turning yourselves into cows.

23.8.05, Wantagh, NY
After our show in Poughkeepsie I went to NYC on a whim. I walk about two blocks and a bunch of Philly friends were calling my name from a sidewalk bar were they were drinking Margaritas and Pina Coladas. I sat down with them and ordered one too.

Jimmy (guitar tech), Steve and Jeff from Nevermore walked by. I stopped them and they came in and sat next to us for a drink too. I was thinking how all through this tour they must already think I’m a fey faggot, cuz I’m rockin’ a mullet with a chunk of it dyed blond, pastel-coloured polos, and pink checkered sneakers. Now I’m sitting at a bar, drinking huge glasses of Pina Colada with paper umbrellas.

LIAM WILSON, BASS
The Dillinger Escape Plan’s Miss Machine is out now on Relapse/Border.

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